Shakedown Page #3

sax all day and all night.

Everything was possible.

And I was very certain that at any minute

I was going to meet the love of my life.

The love of your life?

Yeah.

I met the love of my life.

Only I killed her dog before

I had a chance to tell her.

Then she was everything I ever wanted.

We met at Shakespeare in the park.

Told her I was a lawyer.

That line seemed to work for you.

Rained like hell in a day.

Had an umbrella.

We went back to her apartment.

She went to the bathroom,

I sat on the couch.

She had this great big damn dog.

The dog had a ball.

I threw it.

The dog brought it back.

I threw it again harder.

I'll never forget the

sound of that dog's paws

on the newly waxed floors.

How was I supposed to know

she left the window open?

Her dog fell 13 stories, landed on top

of a parked car.

I went over, leaned out the window,

looked down, threw up and left.

Left.

Without ever telling her she was the one.

Happy is the fleeting hope of youth.

Who said that?

Me.

I'm gonna take this case, Richie.

Good for you, counselor.

Me too.

Hi.

Looking for a runner.

Go up this high.

White, 135 pounds, brown

hair, wears a little ponytail.

He's wearing a pair of gray pants

and a flashy kind of gray sweater

and a pair of Felony flyers

the night of the bust.

Hey cop.

What's your problem?

This place is legal now.

You looking for a cut, you

got to talk to your boys

down at the station.

Yeah.

Get up.

I said get up.

Hey cop.

Stop harassing me before I call my lawyer.

You know what this is?

It's a gun.

And you're a f***ing genius.

Now listen to this.

This gun is clean, no serial numbers.

So I could blow out

what's left of your brain

and chuck it in the East

river and case is closed.

People downtown are

gonna file it under DSAF.

Did Society a Favor, you got it?

I understand, I understand.

Now where is he?

He's August.

On the twos over at New Amsterdam.

Yeah, yeah?

You said you wanted

to go along for the ride.

Yeah, man.

The bus is leaving, amigo.

Okay, where?

New Amsterdam theater on

42nd street, 30 minutes.

I'm down.

25 cents?

For 25 cents that guy can go

give himself some head, sh*t.

To online,

the downstairs room.

It's a man to a half, crazy.

Two girls can't get enough of each other.

Enough there, for only one dollar

you can do off to a naked girl.

Legally naked woman all low.

Ira!

Nice to see you.

Whoah, wait a minute, Stevie.

Yeah, this one looks real.

You bet your ass it's real.

Hey Bob, I want you to change the sheets

in the honeymoon suite.

This is what I got.

And this is what I want.

Stevie, which room is he in?

Now this, Chief, I don't think he wants

to be disturbed right now.

The honeymoon suite, he's

in the honeymoon suite.

Sh*t.

Real live girls,

gentlemen, real live girls.

Look at Bobbie in booth

three, Melanie in booth four

and Tamara in booth five.

These are real live women, live flesh.

Step into a booth.

Richie, Richie, look.

I don't know what kind of party

we're crashing up here, man.

You don't happen to have a

little something for me, do you?

Like a bazooka?

You know how

to use one of these?

F***ing A, papa.

I'm from New York City.

Don't shoot me in the ass.

Holy sh*t.

Oh yeah.

Police officer, freeze!

Hands up, get your goddamn hands up.

Anything you say, officer.

Dammit!

I'm gonna get that son of a b*tch!

Hey!

You drive, I'll shoot!

Stay back, motherf***er!

My house, stupid!

Get out!

How's it going, Max?

Too bad about dipshit, huh?

Gave us a lot of good tips.

Yeah, I bet he did.

What kind of sh*t you carrying?

That ain't regulation.

It's a gun of my own to

exercise my own constitutional

right to bear arms.

Hey ain't you something.

Big John Wayne fan huh?

45 Magnum.

Plan on taking down an army?

A lawyer.

Right.

Sweetheart, I'm going to bed.

Okay, good night.

Did you call about the apartment?

I'm sorry, sweetie, I forgot.

I forgot all about it.

Listen I've had all this work to do.

My ass still aches from the motorcycle.

Roland, you promised.

We don't call, we lose the apartment.

I know Gail, I know.

I'll call about the apartment tomorrow.

I just can't believe you're

spending all this time

trying to get this guy set free

and you can't find five minutes

to do something that's

really important for us.

This guy's a crack dealer, he's a rapist.

People like him belong in jail.

I can't believe you want him out.

Gail, honey, I don't

necessarily want him out.

I just don't want him in

for something he didn't do.

Who cares if he did it?

If he didn't do this, he

damn sure did something else.

Who gives a f*** if he's innocent?

Well I do, I give a f***.

For Christ's sake, this man

sells death to schoolkids!

Gail, hey, hey, sweetie.

What's going on here, huh?

Come here.

Now what's all this about, huh?

Is this some kind of

panic that I'm gonna take

a left turn on your dad's

offer about his law firm?

I don't know, maybe.

I just don't understand your

fascination with all this.

Hey, it's all in your mind.

I'll call about the apartment, I promise.

I'll call tomorrow, all right?

Okay.

And you love me, right?

I love you.

A lot.

Okay.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

one thing I promise not

to do in this courtroom

is to pretend to you that I

am representing Snow White

for a client.

Simple fact of the matter is

that all the seven dwarves

couldn't match his record on

a weekend pass in Singapore.

I'm not going to conceal

this fact from you

and I apologize to my humble colleague

the District Attorney for

snatching that ham bone

from her plate.

However I do promise to use

every means of persuasion

I can muster to prove to you

that my client Michael Jones

did not commit the crime

of first degree murder.

But that he in fact shot

officer Patrick O'Leary

in self defense.

Humorous yet restrained,

rhetorical yet substitative.

You managed to cover everything

except the will of God.

Saving that for my closing.

I thought so.

You cleared for miracles?

Seems to be the new one proud.

I'm glad I have a front row seat.

Okay, so what's the deal?

No deals today buddy,

you missed that boat.

I'm taking your boy to the max.

I'm not taking about that deal.

I'm talking about this deal.

What gives here, what do you want from me?

Do I look like I want something?

Look, why don't you take your mind games

and run them by those doors at the ACLU

'cause I don't have

time for this bullshit.

Oh yeah, I forgot, your star is rising

in the financial arena.

Correct.

Complete with Miss Right, I hear too.

Hey, look Susan.

I loved you better than

anybody's ever gonna love you

in your lifetime and you

left me holding the bag.

You took a hike, remember?

Now I can't figure it, but

I pulled myself together,

I moved on and boom, you show up here?

Well look, I didn't ask for

it and I didn't want it.

So why don't we just sort

of swing on through this

with a minimum of bloodshed?

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