Shame Page #3

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Cream pie...

I don't even know what that is.

- You think it was your intern?

- On my hard drive?

Yeah, someone's f***ing

with your account, man.

And we're blowing our wad in cash,

you know?

It takes a really, really sick f*** to

spend all day on that sh*t.

Daddy, Daddy.

Yeah. Hey, buddy. What'd she say?

She said I can go to Jason's for a half hour,

but I have to be home by 5:00 for dinner.

Okay. That's great. See?

Best of both worlds.

- You got everything you want. You happy?

- Yup. Yup.

- Yeah. You better be. Get out of here.

- Okay. All right, see you.

Hey. You like your sugar?

I do.

Hey.

- Hello.

- Hello.

Did you find it okay?

Yes, I'm glad you made it.

Yeah?

I'm late. Sorry.

You look handsome.

- You look amazing.

- Hi.

- Thank you.

- How are you doing tonight?

- Thank you.

- Okay.

I have a few specials on the menu,

if you'd like to hear them?

Sure.

The soup of the day is tomato

with basil oil and Parmesan crostini.

The special is marinated swordfish,

tabouleh and Moroccan charmoula.

It's really good.

We're also serving a DeBragga and Spitler

New York Strip with a side order of fries,

and the salad is snow pea and radish

with a cider vinaigrette.

Can I start you off with a sparkling water?

- Tap water's fine.

- Okay.

And the wine menu is right next to...

Yup, there you go.

- You want some wine?

- Sure.

- White? Red?

- Red. Maybe...

Pinot Noir is light,

if you like it, like, light.

Great.

Okay. I'll be back.

So...

Where do you live?

- Brooklyn.

- Nice.

Born and raised. Where you from?

I was born in Ireland

and we moved here when I was a teen.

Did you get back much? Thank you.

A couple times.

A big family? You miss them?

Uh...

I have a sister.

I have two.

- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah.

Older? Younger?

Older and younger.

I'm right in the middle.

What?

Just wondering.

Are you nervous?

- Why would I be nervous?

- You look a little nervous.

Do I?

- No.

- Well, what's a date?

It's no big deal.

It took me an hour to

figure out what to wear.

- You chose wisely.

- Yeah.

I'm sorry, but I forgot to say

the crab comes in the shell.

Great.

Oh! Yeah. I haven't even looked at this.

- I'll have the lamb.

- The lamb.

I'll have the lamb, too. That sounds great.

Okay. No appetizer?

- I'm fine.

- No.

Okay. And how would you like the lamb?

Medium.

We recommend it pretty pink.

- Okay.

- Yeah?

Okay. Pink it is.

Thank you. Excuse me.

So you seeing anyone at the moment?

No, I'm not. Are you seeing anyone?

- No.

- No? Really?

Why is that?

I don't know. It's just the way it is.

It's just the way it is. Yeah, I...

Actually, I'm separated.

- Tragedy.

- Yeah. Kind of a recent thing.

Okay.

You were married for long?

- No.

- Did we decide on the wine?

Well, yeah. Was it the Pinot Noir, you said?

Yeah, great. Great choice. Okay.

I wasn't married long. Gave it a shot.

It didn't really work out.

No.

- Wow.

- What?

- You just seem, like...

- What?

- Averse to the whole idea.

- Well, yeah.

I just don't understand why

people would want to get married.

Especially nowadays, I mean, it's...

You know?

I don't see the point.

In relationships?

It doesn't seem realistic.

- Are you serious? I mean...

- Yeah. I am, really.

Well, then, you know, why are we here,

if we don't matter to one another?

- Well...

- Why are you here?

The food is supposed to be great here.

No, no, no. I'm not saying it like that.

I mean... I just mean... You know?

One person for the rest of your life?

I mean, it's...

I mean, you come to restaurants,

you see couples sitting together,

and they don't even speak to one another,

they don't have anything to say.

They probably don't have to speak

because they're connected.

Or they're just bored with one another.

- Every...

- Here we go.

What's your longest relationship?

Um...

Exactly.

- That's... You can pour.

- Sure.

Four months.

You have to commit.

You have to actually give it a shot.

- I did. For four months.

- For four months.

Thank you.

Look, touch that.

Your head?

- No, no, no.

- You're such a weirdo.

No, seriously, seriously, seriously. Touch it.

Okay.

- Oh, my God.

- Do you feel that?

Yeah, what is it?

- It's a remnant.

- A remnant?

Yeah, from the Neanderthals.

There's only a few of us left

since the Homo sapiens took over.

Okay.

Hmm.

That would explain the forehead.

- What's that supposed to mean?

- "What's that supposed to mean?"

What do you mean?

Seriously, how did you get it? What is it?

- I used to play this game with my cousin...

- Mmm-hmm.

...where I'd sit on his feet

and he'd fly me through the air.

I hit my head off the ceiling

and I blacked out.

I was knocked out for five or 10 minutes.

- I peed my pants.

- Oh!

If you had a choice to

live in the past or the future,

and you could be

anything you wanted to be,

what would you be?

What would you be?

Well, I always wanted to be

a musician in the '60s.

That's cool. A musician?

Yeah.

'60s is tough, though.

I saw Gimme Shelter recently, you know,

the Rolling Stones documentary?

- Yeah.

- It kind of seemed like hell.

What?

Yeah, the '60s would be, like,

the last place I would want to be.

- No way!

- Yes.

Ugh! Chaos!

So where and what would you wanna be?

Um...

You know, here, now.

That's boring.

F*** you.

Okay. Well, this is me.

- This is you?

- This is me.

Thank you very much, Brandon.

Thank you very much, Marianne.

We should do this again.

Right.

So is that a yes?

Maybe, yeah.

Hello? Sissy?

Oh, f***!

F***!

F***!

- What, are you f***ing spying on me?

- Lock the f***ing door, Brandon.

- Are you f***ing spying?

- "Are you f***ing spying?"

- F***! Brandon...

- What do you want?

You wanna fight? You wanna fight?

- You wanna fight?

- You want some of this?

What do you want from me?

- What do you want from me?

- Brandon!

- What do you want?

- Get off me!

- Why did you come here? Why?

- Get off me! Get off me!

- Why? Why?

- Get off me!

- You're f***ing hurting me.

- Talk to me! F***ing b*tch!

Get the f*** off, you f***ing weirdo.

- F***ing slut!

- F*** you! F*** you!

Brandon?

Brandon, I'm sorry.

Hey, where's Brandon?

Are you Brandon's girlfriend?

Do you wanna play?

You wanna play with my tits?

I know Brandon would really like it,

and I know exactly what Brandon likes.

Come on.

Where are you taking me?

Come on. You'll see.

- No, where are we going?

- Come on.

You want a drink?

What are you looking at?

This view is amazing.

Hey.

Are they vintage?

A little bit.

I love it.

Oh, yeah.

Brandon?

You know, it's cool. It's okay.

Should I go?

Sure.

I can walk you down.

That's okay.

Can I get you a drink?

No.

F***.

Need a hand?

No. The hook's odd.

There you go.

David?

Pick up.

I take it you're at your pottery class.

Have you eaten?

No.

Are you hungry?

No.

Can you just give me a hug?

He's not gonna screw you again.

You left him a message, didn't you?

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