Shark Tale Page #6

They're gonna tear you fin from fin.

Come on, who's your puff daddy?

Who takes care of you?

Come on, you two, we got work to do.

- Mon, l was winning.

- Sykes. You got it all wrong.

They'll write songs about you.

Oh, the shark bites

- Sykes.

- With his teeth, dear

- Sing it, mon.

- And then Oscar

Kicked his butt

Sykes, man!

- Come on.

- [Lola] Maybe l can help.

Hey. Lola?

What're you doing here?

You just be poppin' up,

sometimes, places.

- Well, you said to wait, so... [claps]

- [sexy music starts]

- Well, you said to wait, so... [claps]

- [sexy music starts]

l've been waiting.

[laughs nervously]

Look, l don't have a lot of time

for the hand-clappy

makin'-the-lights-go-off

music-playing-in-the-dark thing.

- What are you afraid of?

- Afraid... [laughs]

Yeah, that's funny. l ain't afraid

of nothin', it's just... Ooh.

Oh, baby, you are so tense.

Yeah, l've been stressed lately,

you know, protecting the reef.

l do that by myself, you know.

- lt's just crazy.

- lt's too much, it's piling up...

Yeah, you know,

one thing on top of the other.

Actually, l was thinking about retiring.

- You don't want to do that.

- l don't?

You have worked your way to the top.

You don't want to go back to the bottom,

do you?

No.

No.

No way.

You just show 'em who's boss

and those sharks will leave you alone.

Yeah, you're right.

[aside] Lenny.

[handle clicks, creaking]

Psst!

Lenny? Where are you?

Hello, Oscar.

Angie. Hey, what are you doing here?

What, did you forget something?

Oh, maybe you forgot your shark.

[slurping]

Hi.

Uh... Shark!

Swim, Angie, l'll cover you.

Quick, before it's too late.

Go on without me.

Oh, stop it. Your pet shark here

told me everything.

Dang, Lenny, why would you do that?

l don't know... l like her.

Thank you. l like you, too.

What were you thinking,

bringing him in here?

No, l'm still working out the kinks.

Kinks? You lied.

Everybody thinks you slayed the shark.

- Who am l to tell them they're wrong?

- How could you lie to me? Me!

Don't take it personally.

Come on, l lied to everybody.

All right, look, l'm sorry.

l totally betrayed you,

but listen, l got just one

little problem l gotta take care of.

- Oh, what's that?

- Sharks are coming to get me!

And they should.

l mean, what'd you expect?

You'd take credit

for killing a shark,

and then everything would be fine

and dandy for the rest of your life?

Uh... yeah.

But, hey, don't you worry about it.

Me and Lenny got it.

We gonna fix it.

''We''? l don't want any part of this.

Too late, veggie-boy.

They're lookin' for you, too.

Point taken. What's the plan?

- This is what we gonna do.

- [Angie] Here's the plan.

You tell the truth.

And, you, go home.

[both laugh]

All right, look,

this is what we're gonna do.

We're gonna paint you up all bloody.

A mess, right?

Then you gonna swim out and

meet the sharks before they get here.

And you're gonna say, ''Stop.

Don't y'all. Don't go no farther!''

''That Sharkslayer's crazy, man!''

''He beat me senseless.

He's a stone-cold killer, man!''

Then you could tell 'em l'm huge.

Tell 'em l'm handsome.

- Throw that in, say l'm buff.

- You are going way too far.

Actually, he hasn't gone far enough.

Exactly. What?

You need to slay a shark,

and l need to disappear.

Here's what we're gonna do.

Katie Current, reporting live.

- We've had unconfirmed reports of a...

- [fish screams] Shark!

[Lenny hums Theme From Jaws]

- Da-da-da

- Look. It's the Sharkslayer.

[chuckles]

[bellows]

Da-da-da-da!

[snarls]

Holy mackerel.

Did we get that?

Hey, Ang. Oscar's on the TV.

Show me that.

Go ahead with your bad self.

Do you hear them, Lenny?

They are goin' crazy, man.

They love us.

They love you. They hate me.

Can we switch sides?

l can be the Fishslayer.

They'll never see it coming.

Come on, man. You sell this,

you'll never have to go home again.

You can start a new life.

Now gimme a growl.

Okay. [purrs]

[clears throat]

[roars]

- Like that?

- That was... pretty good.

Let's go.

ls that all? Do you understand

how huge my client is? Turn on your TV.

Lenny. Lenny! Lenny!

[everyone gasps]

Turn off your TV. Turn off your TV.

[Oscar] Don't swallow.

- Oscar?

- No, it's Pinocchio. Of course it's me.

- [Oscar] Why did you do that?

- l'm sorry.

No. ''Sorry'' is when you step on

somebody's fin at the movies.

''Sorry'' is when you say,

''When's the baby due?''

and it turns out the person's just fat.

This is as far away from ''sorry''

as you could possibly get.

But, Oscar, l think l'm gonna puke.

No, no.

Lenny, just open up.

Nice and easy.

[Oscar strains]

[cheering]

[Oscar] Are you not entertained?

You can't handle the truth.

You had me at hello.

[ Elvis Vs JXL:

A Little Less Conversation]

Turn your TV back on.

Why are you turning your TV off?

- [Oscar yells]

- [cheering]

This reef is huge.

How we supposed to find the Sharkslayer?

[wailing]

- [thud]

- [cheering]

This is it, Lenny. Big finish.

Just like we practiced.

- The flying fish?

- The flying fish.

A little help here, buddy boy?

- Sorry.

- Thank you.

[screams]

[Lenny wails]

Curse you, Sharkslayer.

[wails]

[quietens wails]

[makes crashing sound]

[sighs]

Yeah, and you tell Don Lame-o

that l don't never,

ever, ever, never,

want to see another shark

on this reef again. Ever.

Remember this name.

Oscar the Sharkslayer.

You see? You see?

[crowd chants] Oscar! Oscar!

- Yay!

- [crowd] Oscar, boom bye-ay

Oscar, boom bye-ay

Look at Oscar.

Oscar, boom bye-ay

Oscar, boom bye-ay

Woo! Hey... Lola.

[TV] Seems The Sharkslayer not only

conquered a few sharks today,

but maybe a few hearts?

Has the reef's most eligible bachelor

been snapped up?

I'm Katie Current, here live,

watching the Sharkslayer making out.

Hey, Angie,

can you hand me the blue one?

Thank you.

Look who stepped in the room! [laughs]

[laughs] Yeah!

Oscar and Lenny. What a team, baby.

Give me that, give me some fin.

High fin. Low fin.

Yo, did you see me?

l was like...

[makes kung fu noises]

l was crazy.

When you punched me,

and the crowd was...

Yeah, they ate it up.

You didn't know

l had it in me, did you?

- lt was like an Oscar-splosion.

- How good was l?

- You was the bomb.

- Thank you. Thank you.

And hey, hey, hey, Casanova.

l saw your big finish on the news.

Nice smooch, lover boy.

lxnay on the isskay, man.

That's private.

Private?

The entire reef saw you do it.

Hey, somebody's in a bad mood.

C'mon, Ang, lemme see that smile.

- Show me the smile, baby...

- Knock it off.

- What has gotten into you?

- Me?

l swear, sometimes l wanna take

your big dumb dummy-head, and just...

Ang, what is the problem?

Problem? No problem.

l don't have a problem.

Miss Perfect is the one

with the problem.

Hey, you guys...

- What do you got against Lola?

- Not my lips, that's for sure.

- What's goin' on?

- l'm gonna stay outta this one.

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