She-Devil Page #2

I've landed the

Mary Fisher account!

And that's just the beginning!

With Mary Fisher

as my star client...

I'm not just an

accountant, I am...

Business manager!

Daddy...

Are we going to be rich?

Right away, princess!

- All right!

- All right!

My husband is having an

affair with Mary Fisher!

Ruth, how can you say that?

I've always been totally

honest with you.

You are my best friend!

What's going on between me and Mary

is purely professional.

I would never, ever do anything

to hurt you and the kids.

Come on, honey!

Trust me!

Mary Fisher, I hope your

pink palace crumbles into the sea...

I hope your delicate white skin

breaks up in hives...

And your shiny blond hair

falls off at the roots!

But meanwhile...

I will watch...

And wait.

I will keep busy in

taking care of our home.

I will try to look attractive

for my husband.

Bob's just going into a phase...

And when it's over, I'll be here.

Ready and waiting for him.

Mary Fisher, you are just a fling.

A novelty, an infatuation.

Bob doesn't love you!

I love you!

I know my husband better

than you ever will, Mary Fisher.

And I know what to do

to win him back!

"The art of winning back

your man...

Is easy with these surefire

economical, sexy recipes.

"The secret of

Chicken Vol-au-Vent...

Is a delicate, puff pastry.

The perfect appetizer

for this dish...

Is a smooth, seductive,

mushroom soup."

Gross!

Your father loves

mushroom soup.

We don't love it!

We are eating too, aren't we?

Yes, but tonight we want

to make your father very happy.

Why?

So he'll stay at home?

Was that...

Was that for real

or the wildest dreaming?

If this is a dream...

I don't ever want

to wake up.

Wow...

I know!

What are you doing now?

Oh, what are you now...?

What are you doing?

I got to go home!

Already?

Yeah... Myr parents

are coming home for dinner.

I didn't realize that you

were so domestic.

Come on, I got

to get home sometimes!

No!

You know you don't!

You don't ever

have to go back, Bob.

We fell in love!

It's no one's fault!

It's not your fault.

It's not my fault.

I know when you

married Ruth you...

You did it out of

for kindness, and pity...

And I love you for that...

But Bob now, please, please...

Be kind to me!

Be with me, stay with me,

live with me!

Mary...

I want to but it's not that easy!

I've got kids!

But they have their mother!

Ruth is blessed

with those children...

They're her pride and joy.

It's not fair!

What do I have?

My all life is so empty!

Don't you say that.

You've got me!

I'm tired of sharing

you with her!

Bob...

I don't think I can stand

that much longer...

I want all of you!

I know.

Damn, if I know.

Hey, daddy is home!

Hi, daddy!

Hi, princess!

Are you sleeping here tonight?

Of course I am, sweety pie!

Your grandparents are coming over,

we're going to have a nice family night.

That ought to be unusual.

Hey, Ruth, dinner

going to be ready on time?

Yes, yes, it will.

Hey, you were supposed

to be home an hour ago.

I could have used some help.

I'm sorry.

I got stuck in a meeting.

I'm going to jump

in the shower.

Oh, Jesus!

Ruth!

What the hell are you doing?

Oh, please...

Don't start now!

My folks are going

to be here soon.

I'm not starting anything.

I'm... going to weigh myself...

Yap!

No wonder you're upset!

Nothing's ready...

And they're here!

They're early.

They're always early!

Cheese and crackers,

that's it?

The flans ought to be ready

in ten minutes.

I'm doing

the best I can, Bob.

Please don't embarrass me

in front of my folks.

What are you doing

down there, son?

- I can't find my gerbil.

- Really?

Well, let grandpa

help you look for it!

- Robin!

- Got to be 'round here somewhere!

There she is!

I've got it, hon!

- Are you okay, dear?

- What's the matter with that woman?

Herbie, are you under there?

- She's clumsy as an ox!

- Is it that time of the month?

Herbie?

I'm going to get back

in the kitchen.

Can I help you?

Relax, mom.

Ruth has got everything under

control, don't you honey?

Andy, find him yet?

Certainly these romantic novels

have universal appeal.

They sell like crazy!

Women... buy it.

Ask Ruth.

She's read everyone!

Nicolette, will you clear

the salad dish, please?

Do I have to?

You men don't understand.

It's always up to the woman...

To keep the romance

in a relationship...

I'm sure Ruth

reads these books...

For inspiration, don't you Ruth?

We don't need books.

Ruth and I have a

terrific relationship.

Always had, always will.

Sure we have our problems...

But it's a question

of give and take.

Once you understand that...

The romance takes care of itself.

Bob, that's so very sensitive

coming from you!

Ruth, I didn't know

he was so sensitive!

Oh, my God!

Herbie!

I'm going to barf!

Ruth, what the hell

is wrong with you?

I'll go get a strainer.

A strainer?

That's a dead rodent!

Take it off the table!

- Bob, calm down!

- Calm down?

The woman is a walking

disaster area!

Why don't you get Mary Fisher

to cook your dinner?

Ruth, I warn you!

She's his mistress, you know?

Shut up, Ruth!

You see what I have

to put up with?

I'll never forgive you for being

so rude to my parents!

Bob, don't be

so mean to her!

Mean? She's the one

making my life miserable.

I knew I never should've

married her!

Bob, the children!

Nicolette and Andy, go up

to your rooms, now, now, now!

Bobby, Bobby, if you didn't love her,

you shouldn't have married her.

Yeah, she was pregnant,

you made me!

Marriage is never easy!

With Ruth, it's not even possible!

Come on, Brenda!

We'll eat out.

That's a good idea, since half

your dinner is on the goddamn floor!

I had every intention

to save this marriage.

I'm tell you something, Ruth.

Life is made up

of assets and liabilies.

As a man I have

four basic assets...

1:
A home, that is my castle...

2:
A family, that is loving

and devoted...

3:
A successful career that

I worked very hard to maintain...

And 4:
The freedom to enjoy

the fruits of my labor.

But when it comes to liabillities,

I have only one.

That's you, Ruth!

And I'm not gonna let you ruin everything

I've worked so hard for!

You're a bad mother...

A lousy wife...

And a terrible cook!

In fact...

Have you looked

in a mirror recently?

I don't even think

you're a woman!

Do you know what you are?

You are a she-devil!

Mary Fisher.

Mary Fisher lives in a palace

by the sea.

She is pretty,

and rich and thin!

And in love with my husband,

who's her accountant.

I loved my husband...

And I hate Mary Fisher!

BOB's ASSETS

1. HOME

2. FAMILY

3. CAREER

4. FREEDOM

He is cute, that kid.

It blew up

and then fell down.

Oh, my God!

Mom, what happened?

Well...

We had a little accident.

What about our clothes?

Gone.

- What about my toys?

- Gone.

What about my tapes?

Gone, everything is gone.

Where are we going, Mom?

Mom?

Yes?

I'm Mrs. Ruth Patchett.

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