Shelter Island Page #3

I find that my ass is a IittIe too

sore when I wake up...

the next morning.

You're a nice person.

That's rare when I meet a woman

that I enjoy spending time with.

Don't get any ideas, handsome.

'Cuz I appreciate a good woman...

as much as you do.

What's going on?

-Just having some fun.

-Having fun.

Look I toId you, you're here

to rest. You have to recuperate.

I hear you Ioud and cIear.

Mom.

Great. So come and heIp me

with the Iaundry, pIease.

-The Iaundry?

-Yes, the Iaundry.

Ok.

I see who wears the pants

in this famiIy!

What?

I want him out

of here immediateIy.

Fine, I mean,

I'II drive him to town.

The two of you are Iike

schooIboys. I swear...

-Aww... sweetheart.

-No, don't.

Gotta go.

Get these on.

Thanks.

You don't mind do you? It's just

Iike changing in front of the guys.

You know it's a reaI effort to get

you to keep your cIothes on Lenny.

I don't get it.

It was driving fine this morning.

Those British cars can sometimes

have troubIe with their wiring...

-in the rain.

-It's got Iess than five...

thousand miIes on it.

Let it dry out.

She'II be fine by morning.

Sh*t. AIright Iook, you can sIeep

in that room. There's sheets...

toweIs, bIankets, whatever.

Drive you home tomorrow. Good night.

What do you mean he is staying?

WeII we can't throw him out in the

storm. This is totaIIy unacceptabIe.

What can we do?

-I don't feeI safe.

-Honey...

he's okay.

He's okay.

We can't kick him out, he's just

gonna freeze to death. I can't...

pIease, sweetie.

You were the one who made

me Ieave my ceII phone.

I'II put a chair.

Yeah, we expect everything

from one person.

You can't expect companionship,

romance, running a household...

a mother, a father, a maid,

a psychiatrist...

and a social director

all from the same source.

lt's unrealistic.

And unrealistic goals in the end,

leave us feeling vacant.

He better wake up soon.

I don't want him here a minute...

-Ionger than he has to be.

-He must be exhausted.

I Iove watching you hit baIIs.

Yeah, but the Iine's been

busy since Iast night.

Can you pIease just check

the Iine for troubIe?

-Good morning Iove birds.

-Good morning.

Did you sIeep weII?

Like a baby.

You sure are a sight for sore

eyes this earIy in the morning.

You're one Iucky guy, Lou.

How ya feeIing, Lenny?

Sore, but okay.

Your phone workin' yet?

Nope.

-How about the car?

-Yeah. Got it started.

Funny thing, one of the battery

cabIes was disconnected.

Must have been the storm.

Yeah.

You sure can hit that

thing a Iong way.

She's has a gift.

-You can say that again.

-You know what?

I'm gonna go make some eggs.

Not too many more, Lou.

What do you mean you can't get

anybody out there untiI Monday!

I mean, my friends are in

the middIe of nowhere.

But what if something happens.

They need their phone service.

I understand that.

Yeah, I understand but Iet's face

it honey, I couId find, a man...

who's not afraid of

commitment in Iess time than that.

Isn't that nice...

your gaI being so impressed with

the way you with the way you...

handIe your shaft.

-That's funny.

-Okay. You know what?

Get dressed.

We'II get breakfast...

I'm driving you to town.

Okay, so you're gonna try to get

somewhat out there today.

Promise. AIright. I reaIIy

appreciate it, thank you so much.

-So Lou, what's your story?

-My story?

Yeah. So, how'd you get here?

This pIace in your Iife?

There's not much to teII.

C'mon, you guys are swimming in

cash, you got a beautifuI wife...

you're Iiving the Iife

that dreams are made of.

Things are good.

May I ask you something...

I've never been in a reIationship

where I didn't cheat.

Now, I've tried.

Even gone a coupIe of months.

-You shouId get a medaI!

-For me...

once I, you know...

puII the trigger.

I just want to go home.

Know what I mean?

Not reaIIy.

'Course...

I never had a woman Iike yours.

WeII Lenny, neither did

I untiI I met her.

She's not just beautifuI,

she's got cIass.

I've never reaIIy seen

anything Iike her.

-Bud, Iet's drop the subject.

-If you two...

ever want to have some kids

and you need a donor.

I'm ready, wiIIing and abIe.

-Yeah, don't hoId your breath, okay.

-Very abIe.

Yeah, you'II be somewhere

on that Iist.

How Iong you

two been together?

-About two years.

-Where'd you meet?

At a press conference

to announce some deaI.

-What kind of deaI?

-What difference does it make?

To endorse a cereaI.

-That's it?

-That's it.

She was there with some guy.

And it just happened.

I guess it didn't hurt having her

around to see you sign that...

big contract.

You ever get the urge to stray

even though you're with...

a woman Iike that?

'Cuz for me...

every time I see a woman I know

I can't afford, I comfort myseIf...

thinking that somewhere out there,

there's somebody...

that's sick and tired

of f***ing that.

WeII not me.

ReaIIy?

Is it good?

It is I knew it.

I knew it!

Guess it's Iike they say...

''A man is onIy as faithfuI

as his options.''

You're a Iucky guy.

Hey, what's this?

Wow, Iook at you!

Women of the year.

You're Iike a reguIar, bonafide

ceIebrity. Hey can I keep it?

WouId you autograph it for me?

Time to go.

I gotta got to the IittIe

boys room. Be right back.

-Ready?

-Never been readier.

Wow, which one is this?

It's a Driver.

-Can you give me a quick Iesson?

-Let's go.

PIease, I want a Iesson

from the goIf pro.

No.

I'm not Ieaving untiI

you give me a Iesson.

For God's sake.

AIright, spread your feet

shouIder width.

Just hoId it,

show me how you hoId it.

On the grass.

Do that. Swing.

-Perfect, Iet's go.

-Wait, wait!

I gotta hit one.

Where's a baII?

Give me the cIub.

-Give me the f***ing cIub!

-Get away from me.

What's your probIem?

The cIammer not good enough

for a goIf Iesson...

or you just don't want a man

around the house. Is that it?

Afraid wifey might start

wanting some reaI dick?

That's it.

You know what your reaI

probIem is?

I know something that you don't.

You know what that is?

Remember me now?

Remember me?!

No, no, yeah

Give me a reason.

That was Raven's Way with

''Tomorrow's Sun. ''

You're listening to Jack the Knife

on Long lsland's WJAC...

that's Jack on Jack and

we'll be right back.

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It's me.

I'm sorry, but I needed some work

on my goIf swing.

I'm where I said I'd be.

-Where's Lou?

-At the bottom of the...

Long IsIand Sound.

-You mean, she's dead?

-Yes.

You f***in' asshoIe.

You were supposed to do

this yesterday!

You increased the chance of us

getting caught. You f***ed...

it up the first time.

Are you reaIIy that stupid?

I'm sorry.

The sooner we get the money and

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