Sherlock Gnomes Page #5

---

And living outdoors

must be awful!

Standing outside in the rain

and the freezing cold.

Like a dog.

Uh, I don't really

have time for this.

My family are in danger.

Please just

hand over the clue.

Work, work, work.

Now I see why

Sherlock chose you.

Sherlock didn't "choose" me.

And he never will.

With Sherlock,

work always comes first.

There's always

another case to crack,

another mystery to solve,

another backyard

of gnomes to rescue.

- You don't understand.

- Oh, I understand perfectly.

Enough!

I don't care about Sherlock!

He is the single most

annoying gnome I've ever met.

I wouldn't date Sherlock if he

were the last gnome on earth.

I already have a partner,

and he's nothing like Sherlock.

Gnomeo is reckless

and emotional.

And he doesn't treat me

like an assistant.

He treats me like I'm...

the toughest gnome

in the garden.

He believes in me.

He loves me

with all his heart.

And if you asked him

to choose between me and work,

or anything really...

he'd choose me.

Every time.

Hmm.

A man doesn't make you strong.

You're right,

a man doesn't make you strong.

But the right partner

can make you stronger.

But I've let mine down.

And now I need

to make it right.

All right.

I'll give you what you want.

But only on two conditions.

First, you tell Sherlock this had

absolutely nothing to do with him.

- And second?

- After you save the day,

you come back

and tell me all about it.

Well, you got a deal.

Hmm.

"You already know

it's all about you.

So what is the pattern

in the final clue?"

The patterns.

Where are they leading us?

I've got it!

Traitors' Gate

at the Tower of London,

where Watson and I

solved our first case.

But it's on the other side

of the city,

and we're running out of time!

Let's go!

Ladies and gentle-monsters.

What's going on?

What are you guys doing?

What's happening?

All right, let's do this.

The Royal Gnome

Theater Company

proudly presents

The Princess and the Frog.

Move out of the way.

Let me see.

Hello!

Princess Benny is here!

I love fairy tales.

Written and directed by me.

- Stage design by me. Lighting by...

- Keep going.

Once upon a time,

a beautiful princess

tiptoed through the forest,

when she came across a prince who

had been cursed by an evil witch.

Oh, alas! Cursed am I!

Transformed into a frog.

Wait a second. What is

wrong with being a frog?

Oi, Meryl Streep,

just read the lines.

This is so frogist.

What can lift

this terrible spell?

You can tell

a frog didn't write this.

Actors. Honestly.

The only way to break

the curse was with a kiss.

Ooh, great,

they're gonna kiss.

Oh, no, I can't.

Kiss the frog!

Kiss the frog!

Why can't you kiss me?

Because

if you love someone,

you only want to kiss them

if they want to kiss you back.

But this isn't

the girl you love.

It's just me! Me!

Go on! Kiss the frog!

It's just me. Me!

Me, me, me!

Me! Wait. Oh!

Kiss the frog!

Huh?

What was that?

Just then, a very

handsome suitor arrived.

Who are you?

I am Captain Love,

AKA The Love Machine,

AKA Baron Von Kissy-Kissy.

Bunnies, give me a beat.

Watch these moves! Whoo!

Come on, bunnies!

Let's party!

Dance with me!

All right.

And whatever you

do, don't look behind you.

Yes.

Oh, no!

Whoo! Party time!

Ronnie, what is going on?

They're putting on a show.

Showtime's over. Bag them up!

Boss says it's time

for their big surprise.

We're too late.

Where are the gnomes?

Show yourself, Moriarty!

No, Sherlock. Not Moriarty.

Watson?

But that's impossible.

Not impossible.

Merely improbable.

It wasn't an M.

It was a W, for Watson.

But I knew

you'd miss that.

Because it had to do

with me.

This was my game.

But we saw you fall!

We saw you get smashed!

No. You heard me

get smashed.

I caught myself

before I landed.

As for the sound

you heard...

just a flowerpot.

What have you done

with the gnomes?

What have you done

with Gnomeo?

They're all fine. They're

right behind that door.

Miss Juliet, I am sorry

I had to involve your garden.

But this was the only way

to get through to Sherlock.

You did all this?

But why?

Because we used to be a team.

Sherlock and Watson, friends,

partners in crime-solving.

But over time,

you stopped respecting me.

The only ornament

you respected was Moriarty.

There was only one way

I could prove myself to you.

I had to pretend

to be Moriarty.

I orchestrated this game.

I challenged you

to a battle of wits.

And you won. You beat me.

That's all I wanted to hear.

And now

you and I are finished.

Maybe you'll treat your next

partner a little better.

Yeah, when you two

have quite finished,

can we please

free the gnomes now?

Of course.

With my apologies.

Since my friends

live here at Traitors' Gate,

this was the best place to

ensure the gnomes would be safe.

I designed the room to be

as pleasant as possible.

They've even got mini-golf.

Gnomeo! Dad! Nanette!

Where are they?

Not here. Never were.

What do you mean?

What's going on?

Why don't you

enlighten our small friend?

Here's the thing, mate.

We, we don't actually

work for you.

What are you talking about?

Get off me.

Sherlock! Do something!

Look at you.

What a loser.

No. No! You can't do this.

What's happening?

Where are they taking us?

I don't know. The gnomes, they

were supposed to be there!

Sherlock. Sherlock!

For goodness sake, will you

please just say something?

Limestone.

He meant

say something useful.

I just did.

The substance on my shoe,

it's limestone.

The gargoyles lied.

They are not

from Traitors' Gate.

So, if we can deduce

where they're really from...

We'll find the gnomes.

That's why I kicked him.

To see quite literally

what he was made of.

The gargoyles

also reeked of salt.

Here, taste my shoe.

No. Just keep going.

So the gargoyles

must live close to water.

Now, place your hands on this wall.

Do you feel that?

That is the steady thrum

of a marine

propulsion engine, meaning...

We're on a ship.

The HMS Nimrod,

to be precise.

We've just set sail,

headed east,

directly towards a structure

which is both on the water

and protected

by limestone gargoyles.

Tower Bridge! The gnomes

must be hidden inside.

Oh, no. Now I understand

why he put us on this ship.

Wait. What?

Who put us on this ship?

That's impossible.

He was smashed. I saw it.

Surprise, Sherlock!

Sorry to not be in touch.

I was pretending to be dead.

Oh, also, I hate you.

Moriarty,

how awful to see you.

So how have I been?

I've been just peachy!

Took up fishing. Gave up fishing.

It's really boring.

But I did plot

your destruction

with the help

of my friends here.

Of course, they were

actually working for me!

I mean, I came up with the

Sistine Chapel of evil plans.

It's got a double-cross,

it's got a triple-cross,

I was smashed, he was smashed.

I mean, to be fair,

it is needlessly complicated,

but that's what

supervillains do!

I know you like it when you

Rate this script:3.0 / 1 vote