Shoot-Out at Medicine Bend Page #3

Saloon for a night of wine,

women and song?

- You're staying right here.

- Aw! An hour or so wouldn't hurt.

Maybe we could convert somebody.

- Convert 'em to what?

- I've got a couple of ideas on the subject.

All right. Let's take a stroll.

Maybe it won't hurt to get

acquainted with Medicine Bend.

- Yee-hoo!

- Yippee!

Wait a minute, wait a minute!

Remember who you're supposed to be.

No smoking, no drinking.

- And no nothing.

- No nothing?

You heard me.

# The other night,

while I was walking

# Underneath the moon

# I overheard two lovers talking

# About their honeymoon

# Honeymoon

Honeymoon

# He said, oh, my darling,

we'll be married soon

# If you will

# Kiss me quick

# And leave me never

# Never let me go

# Quickly, darling, say you love me

# For I love you so

# She said, will you love me always

# If I kiss you so?

# And never roam and love another

- # How am I to know? #

- Gee, she can sing, too!

- What do you mean, too?

- Well, stands to reason

she can do other things.

Like sewing or knitting.

Thee is not finding out!

# Well, he said...

# Kiss me quick and you'll discover

- # Why I'll never roam... #

- Don't tell me. I know.

# I could never love another

# Darlin', don't you know?

# She kissed him

and the moon exploded

# Like a big balloon

# Before they knew it,

they were married

# And on their honeymoon

- # Honeymoon

- Honeymoon

- # Honeymoon

- Honeymoon

# They were married

and upon their honeymoon

# Now she says

# Kiss me quick

# And leave me never

# Never let me go

# Quickly, darling, say you love me

# For I love you so #

Come on. Come on!

Do you like it that way, Brother?

Oh, yes, sir. The milk removes

the evil fire from the spirits.

Yeah? Well, have some more.

I thought thee

didn't like buttermilk.

Must be getting used to it.

Well, I see you're catching on fast.

You earn your wages

at the Pioneer Emporium,

- spend 'em here at the Pioneer Saloon.

- Yes, sir!

Have a good time.

Do you think we got him fooled

in these get-ups, Captain?

Not sure.

Well, hello.

You boys enjoying yourselves?

Would you... I mean...

Would thee join us?

I don't get a cut on anything

weaker than sarsaparilla.

- Something wrong?

- Hm?

Oh, no. I... I was just

admiring thy attire.

That's a little surprising,

coming from you, Brother.

You'd better take it easy

on that buttermilk!

Give us a couple of shots, Dutchy.

I'm buying.

My wallet.

- What happened to my wallet?

- That's OK. I'll get the drinks.

What are you doing with my wallet,

Clyde?!

I had $200 in this!

I don't know now it got there,

honest, Rafe!

Very funny!

# Kiss me quick and never leave me

# Never let me go

Let me smell this.

- #... on my honeymoon #

- Let's get him out of here.

# Honeymoon!

# Honeymoon!

# Kiss me slow

and hold me tender... #

- Get him back to the hayloft.

- Ain't you coming with us?

Not yet. I got a little

business to take care of.

- I'll take him home and come back.

- You'll take him home and stay there.

- Yes, sir.

- # Honeymoon, honeymoon... #

Shut up!

- No need to be afraid, ma'am.

- Get outta here!

Before I start screaming.

And I can scream real loud.

- You wouldn't do that.

- Oh, wouldn't -

- Morning, Mr. Clark.

- Morning.

Walters! What's the meaning of this?

If I knew, I'd tell you.

Sheriff!

Well, don't stand there!

Cut me down!

Hurry up!

What happened, Rafe?

Yoo-hoo! You up yet, honey?

Land of Goshen!

My land!

What are you doing this way?

I always sleep like this!

I don't get it. There I was, walking

peaceful-like down the street

and somebody grabs me round the neck-

This big guy hits me over the head

and I'm out $85!

Shut up and let me finish.

I'm out $200.

Shut up, both of you! I don't mind

him taking the locket you gave me,

but he tied me up

like a stuffed turkey!

Calm down!

Now, calm down, all of you.

Bob Massey'll take care of this.

- Won't you, Bob?

- Hm? Oh, you leave it to me, Ep.

I'll question every man,

woman and child in this town.

May as well start with these two.

Hey, you!

Where were you two last night?

- Sleeping.

- Where?

- King's hayloft.

- King's hayloft!

These two work for you, yet

they're sleeping in King's hayloft.

That doesn't prove anything, Bob.

What do you boys know about

a couple of robberies last night

to the tune of almost $300?

Why, sir, we know nothing

of such foul deeds.

Thee can search us.

We ain't got a cent on us.

Good morning, gentlemen.

Just heard about last night.

This is a terrible thing. Terrible.

Now, if you ask me,

the thing to do

- Nobody's asking you, Sam.

- Morning, Ep.

Did either of you boys

get a good look at him?

Well, if they did,

we wouldn't all be standing around.

I saw him.

- That is, I...

- Were you robbed too?

- You could call it that.

- Oh, well, that's interesting.

What did he look like,

Miss Garrison?

Well, he was tall... and well dressed.

He had a black shirt... I can tell

you about the clothes he was wearing.

He got 'em right here.

A $40 dollar hat, a black beaver...

Rafe! The mayor

ain't interested in details.

The most important thing

is to post a reward, isn't it, Sam?

Uh, yes.

Well, all right.

As mayor of Medicine Bend,

I hereby proclaim

to offer a reward of... of...

- $500.

- Five hun-

Better make it a thousand.

$1,000 for the arrest

and conviction of the bandit,

or bandits,

responsible for the outrages

committed against the peace

That's enough, Sam.

We all got the idea.

Now, you fellas go back to work.

- Can you see anything?

- Nah.

It's as black in there

as the inside of a buffalo.

Gimme a knife. I'm gonna

whittle this crack a little wider.

Where'd that come from?

Out of my pocket. You sure you

ain't wearing somebody else's pants?

You know I'm wearing

somebody else's pants.

Uh-oh.

Where'd that come from?

And you said, 'They can search us. '

Yeah. Well, if they had,

we'd both be looking up a rope.

- You don't think the captain -

- Shh!

Gimme that hammer.

I'm gonna bust this lock.

Go on in. I'll keep watch.

- You find something?

- We just hit pay dirt.

All our uniforms are here.

Maitland?

Clegg? Where are you?

Was you calling me, Mr. Sanders?

Yeah. I want you to... How come

you said, 'Was YOU calling me?'

Well, it was you, wasn't it?

I thought all you Brethren

said 'thee' for you.

Oh, thee is right.

Sometimes we forget.

- How long have you been in the Brethren?

- Not very long.

Sack up four 50lb bags

of brown sugar and get them

on the loading platform.

Yes, sir.

Have you had any word about

that wagon train yet, Miss King?

- Our money arrived today.

- Nothing definite.

- But it should be here soon.

- I sure hope so.

Our party's getting jumpy,

just sitting around waiting.

- We oughta be in Montana by now.

- We'll let you know,

just as soon as

the new supplies arrive.

Thank you, Miss King.

- Sounds like you got robbed too, mister.

- Yeah, that's right.

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