Shoot The Moon Page #8

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Oh. Certainly. Right this way.

- Your waiter will be right with you.

- Yeah.

What are you doing here? I thought

you were staying at your mother's.

I had enough of my mother.

What are you doing here?

- I was up at the lake.

- All this time?

- Well, I like the lake.

- What were you doing up there?

Nothing. Just watching the bass.

Do you mind if I sit down?

Has your mother got any plans?

What is she gonna do? Is she going away?

- Do you want your food served here, sir?

- Yeah.

No.

I don't think that's enough dill for you.

George, you know, I'd like to be alone.

Would you bring me some more dill,

please?

- And for you, madam?

- No, nothing. I'll have some of his.

Why don't you order some dinner, Faith?

You mean you want me to

get my own, huh?

- No, I'm not that hungry.

- Good. I'm not so hungry, either.

No, no, here, I'll take that.

Thank you very much. Yeah. Okay.

Here, George, give this a try.

- Want a piece?

- Yeah.

Yeah, give me some dill on that.

- Sure. Is everything all right?

- Fine, just fine, thank you.

- How about some dessert?

- I'm on a diet.

- I'm trying to lose seven pounds.

- You look fine to me.

Well, I'm not losing it for you.

- The waiter heard you.

- I don't care about the waiter.

- Now, Faithie.

- Don't "Now, Faithie" me, George.

It's over. All that's over, remember?

- Just dismiss it?

- You left me, George.

- You threw me out.

- You left me because you were

screwing Sandy

and everybody knew about it.

And, finally, I knew about it.

I don't know what the hell you were doing

- spending nights at our house, anyway.

- I paid the bills, didn't I?

- We're very grateful about that.

- Don't put me down. I've worked hard.

- I've worked hard.

- And I worked hard with you.

You'd come off that train

and I'd have the children in bed

and the ice out and the coq au vin and the

pot-au-feu and the Christ knows what else.

And then I'd sit there

and I'd listen to your stupid office politics,

and I'd advise you

and I'd coddle you and f*** you,

and then I'd be up at 6:00 in the morning

and I'd have the children off

- and out of your way!

- Is that so?

- Well, let me tell you something.

- Hey, pipe down, buddy.

- We're paying for our dinner, too.

- I'd come off that train

and you were always so goddamn nice.

And, yes, you were a good cook,

and, yes, you were a good mother,

and, yes, you could lay it on

for my old college buddies.

And, yes, you were smart about elections.

You wanna know something?

I was in awe of you.

In awe of me?

What the hell does that mean?

You, the children! Four children!

You raised them

with the back of your hand.

You made it so goddamn easy.

- You raised them, too, George.

- Bullshit! I was never there.

I was a bystander, an outsider in all this.

- All this what?

- All this life!

I was sitting with my thumb up my ass,

sharpening pencils,

praying that some dumb editor

would give me a pat on the back

for a profile on some...

The f***ing greenskeeper at Pebble Beach.

You were changing diapers

and scraping sh*t off walls.

You were creating lives!

What was I doing?

Studying the f***ing Bermuda grass.

And counting the goddamn dimples

on a golf ball.

Don't you understand? I worshipped you.

Well, then for God's sakes, George,

why didn't you treat me that way?

You were always yelling.

You were always so angry.

- You have such a terrible temper!

- But you know I don't mean it.

- Tell that to the children, George.

- I was afraid. Don't you understand?

- Afraid of what?

- I couldn't hack it!

I felt like I was swimming

the English Channel

with a 50-pound weight around my neck.

- That's my mother's line.

- Yeah, well, your mother's done

- a lot of drowning.

- You leave my mother out of this!

I'd be glad to! Your mother was

a lousy mother and a lousy wife!

- Did we decide on dessert?

- Well, then tell me about Sandy!

Does she f*** you

morning, noon and night?

Forget about Sandy. What about him?

The redneck?

The who?

Sam Stud, the character

with all the cotton in his crotch.

- Do you do it on the backhoe?

- You talking about Frank?

Frank. What a name. Frank.

I had a counselor at Scout camp

named Frank.

Franks always love the outdoors.

- Well, this Frank isn't bad indoors.

- Jesus Christ!

Hey! Give us a break, will you?

You know what it is

that I love about Frank, George? He's you!

He's you 15 years ago.

I don't know

what the hell happened to you!

Did you have to become such a sh*t heel

just because you're a big success?

- Don't you see any good in me at all?

- Not at home! Not a lot!

Why is it that you're the only one

I can't get along with?

- Everybody else loves me!

- Oh, yeah, I know!

Like eating ice cream, isn't it?

Just like eating ice cream!

Come back here.

Faith, I said come back here!

- I'm not coming back to you!

- Oh, come on, Faith, give him a chance!

- Butt out, Bubbles.

- Watch it, fella!

- You watch it!

- Stop it, George!

Stop it, George! She'd rather f*** Frank!

- You a**hole! F*** you, woman, f*** you!

- B*tch!

- Give my wife the finger?

- Apologize to the lady!

- I'm a woman! I'm a woman, George!

- Apologize to the woman!

- Harold, apologize!

- She gave you the finger! Go on!

- You deserve it, you prick!

- All right, stop it. That's enough now.

- Okay, I'm sorry.

- Please, please.

Please, please.

Sit down over there, please.

This is a restaurant, not a gymnasium.

Do you mind?

Enjoying a nice quiet fight with my wife.

Please, have it at your table, would you?

Sit down. Come on, sit down.

Can I get you a little brandy on the house?

Two doubles.

Mrs. Dunlap, would you like to order now?

- Yeah, I want a lobster.

- One pound or two?

- Three.

- Okay.

- And some wine to go with it.

- Yeah.

We have a new Chardonnay in.

And, of course,

there's the lovely old Gewrztraminer.

- Both.

- Both?

- You heard her, both.

- Certainly.

I think we won.

Did we?

No, let go of me, George.

- I wonder what it was.

- Don't, George. Don't say that.

But why?

'Cause it's just not... Don't.

Stop it, George. You're embarrassing.

Oh, really?

How do you feel

about the Gewrztraminer?

- What? The who?

- The Gewrztraminer.

I thought it was a trifle authoritarian.

- And just the least bit Lufthansa, ja?

- No, George, that's the worst accent

I've ever heard.

- Oh. Well?

- Where are the children?

Stop it! They're next door.

Where do you think they are?

Oh, well...

- Well?

- Well... Good night, George.

Well, look, where's your room? I mean...

Twenty-seven.

No, George. You can't do that.

- Why?

- Twenty-seven's my room.

- No, it's my room.

- It's not your room, George.

It's my room. Twenty-seven's my room.

There must be some misunderstanding.

Oh, well, George, I think you just better

get yourself another room, huh?

- This is my room.

- You can't stay here, George.

You can't spend the night here.

- Half of this room is mine.

- No, you can't spend it here, George.

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