Short Circuit 2 Page #4

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We're using it to build

this fine line of quality toys.

-Hey, that's very nice.

-Isn't that cute?

My name is Oscar Baldwin.

I work at the bank.

I thought this building had been vacated.

Maybe you'd like to join

the Neighborhood Merchants Association.

Well--

I happen to be

the Membership Committee chairman.

We're on a short-term lease.

We'll be gone in a month.

You have removed 57 car stereos?

From automobiles?

What?

You were out ripping stuff off?

Not ripping, unscrewing.

I helped my friends:

The Department of Car Stereo Repair.

Dummy, you were boosting car stereos!

It was stealing, okay? You were stealing!

-You got fingerprints?

-No, he doesn't.

Stealing? To take property

without permission, unlawfully?

But they said it's their job.

They'll put them back!

No, they scammed you, see?

They tricked your ass.

I've got more brains in my nostril

than he's got...

...in his whole erector set.

I was tricked? Flimflammed?

Hornswoggled?

You see, this is not the countryside.

This is the city-side.

There are many people here,

and people, they are very complicated.

I know. I've spent

my entire lifetime as one...

...and still I do not understand them.

Now, please, will you stay inside?

Okay.

Okay, thank you.

-Let's go, Saunders.

-God, I think I'm allergic to this stuff.

Come on.

The key is in the ignition.

-Get it! The key!

-I got it!

"Dear Stephanie, the toys are almost done.

The city is nice...

"...but people here get angry easily.

"Maybe they need more fiber in their diet.

Or maybe it's just me.

"Love, Johnny.

"P.S. Enclosed is

something called a chilidog."

Masks?

Disguises? Excuse me, gentlemen.

Our showroom closes at 6:00.

Let's get that craphead.

Have a seat, gentlemen.

Why are you angry?

Why try to disassemble Johnny Five?

Bad humans!

Please allow me to demonstrate

the law of centrifugal force.

Please return your seatbacks

and tray tables...

...to their full, upright positions

in preparation for landing.

"Robot ejects prowlers. Film at 11 p.m."

To the moon, Alice.

Who are these masked men

and what do they want?

Does everybody get treated this way?

Now we have to get a security system.

Security system? Sure.

" R-E-S-P-E-C-

"That is what I'd like for me

-"R-E-S-P-E-C-T"

-Lower your volume.

I cannot hear myself forgetting

what I am studying.

It makes me unable even to remember

the name of Warren G. Harding.

Harding?

Johnny.

Hi, Oscar.

I thought this would interest you.

-Sightseeing tips!

-Lots of input.

Oscar, thank you.

And I'll read it again later.

-I found one for you.

-Great.

-Got it?

-Yep.

Hello, there.

I just thought I'd drop off

that application for you.

Thanks. I'll get to it right away.

What's he doing, anyway?

Making homemade contraption

to protect my friends.

Let me ask you something.

How does that thing work?

Do you run it by remote control?

No, you just talk to it.

Absolutely amazing.

I know about computers

and we'd expect to pay no less than...

...$500,000 for something like him.

Johnny Five total value:

$11,002,076.17.

$11,000,000, you see? And well worth it!

Capable of doing anything,

and a marvellous personality to boot.

Thank you, Oscar. Adios.

I like Oscar. He's friendly.

And he treats me with "R-E-S-P-E-C-T."

"Sock it to me, sock it to me"

Amendment 2, right to have bare arms--

-All right, what's the deal here?

-What?

I'm talking about a robot worth

$11,000,000 bucks?

So?

So, Benny:

Why are we killing ourselves

making toys for a lousy $50,000?

-Why don't we sell the big one?

-What? This is not possible.

For very personal reasons.

Number Johnny Five cannot be sold

in any way howsoever.

Am I making myself completely

transparent to you?

Transparent as hell.

Out of all the partners I could have picked,

I get the one that doesn't wanna be rich.

Of course, if everybody was rich,

then everybody would have a Bisana.

Benny, grab your jacket.

I'm taking you to lunch.

-I've been thinking about Sandy.

-You have?

And how she's got your jeans steaming.

-That's not true.

-Listen.

It's a surprise, the kind of guys they go for.

You'd think it'd be someone like me, right?

No hope.

It always some guy just like you. I swear.

But she isn't recognizing me

when she is seeing me.

Hey, I'm telling you.

You know what you gotta do?

You gotta break it up...

...with a little small talk, you know?

Small talk?

You start out by talking about the weather.

Then you move on to complimenting

her shoes or her earrings.

Then you move onto something

more personal, you know?

Tell her you find yourself

fascinated by her hypnotic blue eyes.

I paid yesterday. Bill is picking it up today.

-Who?

-Hey, Bill. How you doing?

Good game. Great game.

-Hi, Bill.

-Fine young athlete.

I'm with him.

Hypnotic blue eyes.

That sounds good.

That sounds good. You're on a roll.

-Yes.

-You know what I'd do?

-What?

-I'd go see Sandy today.

-Today?

-Absolutely.

Right after lunch.

I'm not that hungry myself.

I can go take care of the store.

You go for the groceries.

-I'll cover for you. Go for it.

-You think so?

Absolutely.

Thank you, Fred. Sandy Banatoni.

Come on, J. Five. I got some people

that are dying to meet you.

Frederick, I have an important question.

Why do humans not like me?

Call me "craphead"?

They like you. Craphead is a compliment.

Check it out! Major input!

Frederick, wait here.

I'll be right back after these words.

Input, input!

No!

Input!

Watch out!

Input! Treasure Island,

Origin of the Species.

Everything You Always Wanted

to Know About Sex.

Five?

More!

Fabulous!

That was good. I like that one.

That one, too.

Boring. The movie was better.

These two are wonderful.

Five, what are you doing?

You're gonna get us busted here!

Frederick, I must read

these two books very carefully.

Two excellent books.

May I have these, craphead?

Five! Come on, we gotta go.

-But, Fred, l--

-Do you see those two guys down there?

They wanna take your books away.

Nice going, ace.

-Read any good books lately?

-Yes. I covered many great subjects.

Philosophy, art, religion, aerobics.

But, Frederick, there are so many more.

I could be done in 35 minutes.

-Can't we just--

-Give me a break.

-I got you some input, didn't I?

-But, l--

Now you do something for me!

-Okay.

-And watch the shirt.

-Silk.

-Damn right.

From the Bombyx mori moth caterpillar,

or silkworm.

I don't care!

Come on, we're gonna be late.

This is far too risky.

I mean, broad daylight.

All of them are gone.

It's the only chance we'll get.

We'll be out of here in under two minutes.

I used to do this for a living.

It'll be a controlled fire.

Ladies and gentlemen, please...

...direct your attention to the persons...

...attempting illegal entry here at 135...

...West Lafayette Boulevard.

They are criminals...

...thugs, bad dudes, desperados.

So get the police, the Lone Ranger,

Dirty Harry, Mean Joe Green...

...the Green Berets, the Green Hornet.

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