Short Cuts Page #11

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They all come with little-

- Stormy did this to me on purpose.

I'm gonna kill him.

- This is Kwame. He has the power of earth.

Let's say he points his ring

at, maybe, Earth, and-

Chad, you know what?

I think that it was really nice

that Gene brought us here tonight...

and I think we should say

thank you.

- Don't you?

- Mommy, can I go to the bathroom, please?

Yeah.

- Wait. Where is it?

- Uh, excuse me, miss.

Where's the restroom?

- For him? I'll take him.

- Thanks.

Come on. I'll show you.

What's that?

- What?

- That.

- Happy birthday.

- [Giggles]

What is it? An alarm clock?

It's pretty.

My marriage is breaking up.

Oh, honey, really?

Really.

I can't think of anything but you.

Not at work,

not about the trial.

Just you.

I think I'm, uh -

I think I'm, uh, getting serious.

Oh, honey, I wanna be with you too.

[Beeping]

[Phone:
Line Ringing]

- [Howard On Phone] Hello.

- Mrs. Finnigan, please.

Uh, sorry, she's not here right now.

- Who's this?

- This is Mr. Bitkower.

She placed an order today, and I just wanted

to make sure I was clear about what she wanted.

Her drawing's a little messy.

Well, she isn't here right now.

Call her back next week. All right?

[Ringing]

Hello.

[Bitkower] I don't appreciate

being hung up on...

when I'm calling about your order.

I need to know whether Mrs. Finnigan

wanted a bat or a mitt. May I speak to her?

No, you may not. Whatever it is,

just cancel it and stop calling here.

Now, we've got a problem here.

We don't need the line tied up

with unimportant stuff!

[Ringing]

[Bitkower]

Either you give me an answer now -

Look, f*** you, a**hole.

F*** you!

[Exhales]

Jesus.

[Ringing]

- [Continues Ringing]

- [Loud Crash]

[Howard]

Goddamn it.!

All right, tomorrow night

we'll get a motel room.

- When?

- Tomorrow night.

Oh, no, I can't.

I'm going away for the weekend.

- What?

- Goin' to Tahoe, see my sister.

- Tahoe? When did that get decided on?

- I don't know. Last week.

Your sister?

Thought your sister lived in Michigan.

- That's Phyllis. This is Bunny.

Bunny lives in Tahoe.

- Bunny? Who's Bunny?

- [Sighs]

- You never mentioned her before.

- Yes, I did. She's my half sister.

- Half sister?

And besi - Gene, you were always

with your family on the weekend.

How was I supposed to know

you could get away?

[Chuckles]

Oh, well -

I don't know what to think, Betty.

Huh.

So, is B -Who is Bunny?

- Bunny-

- Bunny-Who's -

- Bunny is my half-stepsister.

- These your mother's kids or your father's kids?

- My dad's wife's kid.

- Oh, yeah.

We have been planning to get together

for over a year.

- Oh, yeah? Well, what's she do in Tahoe?

- What?

What does she do in Tahoe?

She work? Is she married?

- Tahoe's a fancy place to live, you know.

- Gene, stop this.

I'm going away for a few days

to visit my sister.

Don't try to make me feel guilty

about nothing.

You're making mountains out of molehills.

- Come on -

- Shh. Kid's back.

There's this really neat camera up front.

- It's not a real camera.

- Did you find the bathroom okay?

Uh, yeah. There's a man

throwing up in there.

- Oh, my God. How awful. Is he all right?

- Chad.

- I don't know.

- You going to visit Aunt Bunny this weekend?

How about those peas?

Let's eat up some of those peas.

- Bunny?

- He's too young to remember Bunny, okay?

Does not remember Bunny.

Eat 'em up.

Anyway, it squirts water-

It looks like a real camera. Please?

I really want it.

Come on. Daddy would buy it for me.

[Jazz]

You boys have obviously not heard

of theJoe Robbins legend, have you?

- What can I get you, pal?

- Same, Jay.

- Are you laughin' at me?

- [Jazz Continues]

- [Man] No one was laughin'at you.

- [Man # ] Go ahead.

[Applause]

Next to my cell,

a big Spanish brother.

' ", ' ". Eddie Valdez.

We called him "Big Ed."

I said, "Big Ed, yo, listen.

Don't f*** with me. "

Cat f*** with me.

I get my hands on about feet of rope.

Now, you may wonder where

I get rope in prison.

Like I told you, I'm Joe Robbins.

Inside or out.

[Scattered Applause]

[Joe]

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