Short Cuts Page #29

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Very unfortunate, what happened.

Uh, I'll have one of those beers.

Hey, you know what's a hundred yards away?

You know the Bat Caves?

You ever watch Batman?

Remember the series Batman?

- Yeah.

- Well, the Bat Caves where they shot it-

Let me show you this cave.

Here's your beer.

Let me take Barbara away

from you for one second.

Come here. It'll just take a second.

Don't worry about it.

- Okay, I'll just have one beer.

- All right, one.

Come here.

Don't worry about it.

- [Barbara] Where you guys live?

- Malibu.

- Come back.

- That's on the beach, right?

- Yep, it's on the beach.

Can I have a beer? Thanks.

Oh, Jesus. Excuse me.

No, it's one of the streets that goes up.

- Oh.

- Come here. It's right down here.

- Do you mind?

- [Bill] We had a place up there for a while.

Now, after we split up

with our wives, you know-

- Oh, you lived with your wives?

- Well, yeah.

So now we got this place.

We got this fish tank thing,

like a fish tank.

[Nancy]

Hey, stop that.! Don't- Leave me-

- What are you doing? Leave me alone.!

- What the f*** is he doing? Jerry!

- [Screaming]

- Jerry!

- [Birds Squawking]

- Jerry.!

[Rumbling]

- F***!

- Whoa!

Earthquake.

Earthquake, you f***ing nut.!

- All right, Josette. Come here.

- [Screaming]

- Jerry!

- [Screaming]

- Okay, look. Look here.

- [Screaming]

What's happening, Howard?

Howard?

We have to get under a table.

Gene, earthquake!

Get under the doorway!

- Quick!

- Underneath the door!

This is Officer Gene Shepard

of the Los Angeles Police Department.

We are currently

experiencing an earthquake.

On Broadway I danced

For that senator

They know me in London

They know me in Paris

[Marian]

Ralph!

[Claire] Jesus.

This is bigger than the one in ' .

Don't worry. Don't worry.

It's not the big one.

Earthquake!

Mommy, get over here, quick!

Just lay down, Mommy.

Just lay down.

Whoa! I lost my umbrella.

Here we go, baby.

In the doorway.

If you are close in proximity to any

power lines, please move quickly away.

Falling power lines can result in

electrocution. There is a possibility of-

This is it, baby.

We're going out together.

This is the big one, baby.

[Rumbling Stops]

- It wasn't the big one.

- No. [Chuckling]

[Ann Whimpers]

[Lois Laughs]

You're such a big, brave boy.

- Where the f*** are they? Jerry!

- Jesus Christ.

- [Car Alarm Blaring]

- [Dogs Barking]

All right. It's okay.

[Marian] Well, we should probably eat,

is what we should do.

[Stuart] Yeah, what happened to that

big meal we were supposed to have?

We should probably have

a whole bunch of eggs or something.

[Claire] We should turn on the TV

and see what the damage is.

[Vocalizing]

We're beginning to receive reports now...

- on that . - magnitude earthquake...

- [Ralph] Dunphy's on.

- We experienced earlier this morning.

- Dunphy will tell us the truth.

- [Stuart] Around Joshua Tree, huh?

- A house on fire in Baldwin Hills.

- [Marian] Seven-point-four. That's big.

- [Stuart] Well, that's pretty big.

You know, that's really not that bad.

Eight is bad. That's not as bad as an eight.

- Obviously it's not as bad as an eight.

- Well, no. But I mean-

[Claire] When you come from California,

you don't worry about that stuff.

At least people have been injured

and we're told one person died.

- One person killed.

- [Marian] One fatality, yeah.

You know,

that's really not bad, one person.

[Stuart] Wait, here he's talking to -

Look at this.

- Stormy was in the air when the quake happened.

- Here's a helicopter pilot.

Tell us exactly what you saw.

[Ralph] You think that's his real name,

Stormy Weathers?

- [Marian] God, I hope not.

- It all looked pretty normal to me.

- [Ralph] Where'd they get this guy?

- [Stuart] Ralph, you have any bourbon?

- What about some tequila?

- [Claire] Yeah, I'd have a tequila.

- As I was landing I was remarking to myself...

- [Stuart] That stuff gives you

a headache, Claire.

- What a beautiful sight L.A. Is.

- Where's those lemons I brought home?

- [Marian] I don't know. Maybe by the bar.

[TV:
Stormy]

Every Angeleno says to himself or herself....

just how lucky he or she is

to be living in L.A.

- [Stuart] I'll have some too.

- I hope nothing happened to your house.

[Dunphy] Now here is

the latest news on the earthquake.

There is one fatality.

This has been confirmed now.

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