Short Sharp Shock Page #4

- I saw her yesterday.

- Did you?

- Yes.

- And what did she tell you?

She didn't like the Albanian.

And what do you think?

- About what?

- My girl.

She's nice.

She's a slut.

Dude, I don't understand.

She's a wonderful woman.

She's got a brain, a shop.

She's cute and nice.

Why do you talk about her this way?

Because she embarrassed

me in front of my boss.

She didn't embarrass you.

You embarrassed yourself,

staying with that a**hole.

Enough, guys.

We haven't even started!

Thing is, I'm quitting.

You can't quit pot!

You've been selling

hash since I met you.

You're middle name is "hash".

You're a walking joint!

I've had problems since as far

back as I can remember.

They used to be small,

now they're big.

Some of them even

wind up in my fridge.

There's nothing left to eat.

A while back I went to get my car

that was parked on the street.

I forget where it's parked.

Look for it and can't find it.

It's a black Fiesta.

With cat stickers on the doors.

So I look for the lemon

which is easy to spot.

And can't find it.

Finally I find it.

Three blocks down.

I see my car, go towards it,

I'm about to open the door...

and I don't have the keys.

That's no reason to leave it!

These things happen every day.

Keys here, keys there...

I thought:

Screw going back for the keys.

I'm five blocks away.

So I'll hot-wire it.

It's my car, right?

I'm about to open it.

I open it, get it started.

And on the way

I noticed that I hadn't

moved my hands.

You move your hands

to shift gears.

And this was an automatic.

So what? I've got an automatic.

They're cool.

Thing is my little Fiesta

with cat stickers

isn't automatic! It's manual!

- You stole the car?

- Sh*t!

I thought:

Before they nab me,

I'll just steer it to the

right and get off.

Get off and go home.

I get off and go for the subway.

Turns out I have no smokes.

So I go back to the car.

Now it gets illegal:

I know it's not my car.

I open the door and get in again.

Search for cigarettes, don't find them,

open the glove compartment...

...and the problem is in the fridge.

What's in the fridge?

Dead body?

A gun, dude.

I have no idea whose it is,

but I don't want it.

I'm selling it, Costa.

Is it hot?

It's red-hot, dude.

Keep it, we've come for hash.

Bobby?

See this?

Listen up.

With this I go bang, bang, and bang!

Why are you packing, dude?

Nothing, just security.

I'm not packing and

I feel secure.

As a taxi driver,

you could use one.

That's crap.

Want to whack a cop?

Don't like this, OK?

It's just a talisman.

Like a neck chain,

brings me luck.

Don't f*** with me.

If you see a naked chick,

you do her.

If you hold a kebab,

you eat it.

And if you have a gun, you use it.

Understand?

Let's grab a movie, OK?

That's a trick, dude.

Flying so high up in the air.

That's impossible!

It's crap!

Cool movie.

Wasn't that cool.

I thought it was total crap.

We should've got "Scarface".

We always get "Scarface".

We always get "Scarface"

because Pacino is the king.

You know, Pacino.

And not...

Ming Fan Young,

or whatever.

You like Pacino?

Pacino is cool, he's got balls

as big as a dinosaur's.

Some balls!

They must weigh 50 kilos!

Do you know what I mean?

See:

You dream of the sea,

selling cokes...

renting boats,

the sun and all that jazz.

I dream of black guys

and chicks with beautiful tits...

that work the street for me

and bring the cash home.

I dream of being famous.

- You dream about fame?

- I dream about fame.

Become an actor, then.

He scores a point!

Actor?

When is Alice coming back?

You'd like to know, wouldn't you?

Let's play a game.

Feel like it?

What game?

Tell us.

First guy to get ashes on his

lap gets beaten up.

- I mean a good beating!

- Of course.

- A hard beating.

- Hard.

- And he also pays for a round of drinks.

- Also pays for a round.

- Good idea.

- Let's play then.

- Sure you want to play?

- Yeah, sure. Let's start.

That's not fair!

You get a beating!

Shut up, Greco.

Want some coffee?

No thanks, go on sleeping.

- Good morning.

- Morning.

Hi, Bobby.

Slept badly?

What's the matter?

Don't I get a kiss?

I want a kiss too.

Costa!

Hey!

Babe!

Sit down.

I think your little scene

at the restaurant...

was disgusting.

You didn't have to take me.

I know.

But the guy wanted to

meet the woman I love.

Is that so bad?

The guy was disgusting.

Know what your

problem is, princess?

The guy was too sincere.

You're out of your mind.

What happened with Gabriel?

Did you have fun?

Did you drink, dance?

You didn't tell me anything.

You're f***ing with me.

You f*** with me all the time!

Then beat it!

Beat it?

Beat it?

And what about Gabriel?

He looks at you, you look at him.

A look here, some pastry there.

What the f*** is Yenilmez & Lorenz?

Are you pulling my leg?

It sounds good.

Are you taking me for a fool?

- Are you crazy? Enough!

- Shut it, Costa!

Out.

Out!

Out!

I don't want to see you again!

Out!

Out!

Hi, dude.

You OK?

Yeah, how about you?

I don't know.

- You need money?

- I just wanted to see you.

Good idea. Here I am.

Can I talk to you?

You can, but don't jump in the taxi

to play hide-and-seek.

What's the matter?

Bobby's still with the Albanian.

- He wants me to go too.

- Will you?

I promised.

Why the f*** is he

dragging you in too?

You can't imagine

how nervous he is.

He hit Alice a while ago.

In the face.

Never seen anything like it.

To hit a girl...

that's just not done.

He says he needs

an assistant.

- Driving is my job.

- Is that all you know?

Where's your talent?

Used to steal bikes.

Was good at it.

You're a clown.

Imagine that you're driving

with a trunk full of guns.

The cops stop you and say:

"Open the trunk, young man."

What would you say?

That I stole the wrong car.

Not bad.

Not bad.

"I stole the wrong car."

I like it.

You'll need a car.

What?

You'll need a car.

Does that mean

I can do it?

That's right.

I swear on my mother

I won't let you down.

If you screw up, you're f***ed.

I'll obliterate you.

You don't play with guns.

You don't play with money.

If you cheat me,

I'll kill you.

Neither Silvio nor nobody will be

able to help you, you get that?

Of course.

I want to see you here at 1,

understood?

Yes.

- What time do I want you here?

- You want me at 1 o'clock.

That's all, out.

Sh*t.

Let's go, Bobby.

- Costa, you're a loudmouth!

- Let's go!

- Get out of my place.

- Shut it!

Don't get involved, OK?

What's your problem?

Bobby!

This is my place, remember.

My place!

Let me get this pig!

Costa...

don't f*** up now.

Muhamer, that's enough.

Please.

Still telling me to shut up?

Please.

Tell your friend never

to show up here again.

Tell him!

Or I'll kill him.

A**hole!

Gabriel.

I'm sorry.

Some friends you are.

Congratulations.

Come on, get up.

Gabriel!

Gabriel!

Gabriel, what happened?

- Nothing good.

- Sh*t, come in.

Does it hurt?

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