Showtime

Being a policeman

is not what you see on TV.

I've never had to pick between

the red and blue wires.

Never seen a police car flip and cause

other cars to burst into flames.

Never had to jump across rooftops.

I investigate crimes, track leads...

...and sit in court. It's difficult,

tedious work, and you won't get rich.

But I've done it for 28 years.

I'm a detective. That's what I do.

If you break the law...

...I'll do all I can to hunt you down

and put you behind bars.

I won't say that I succeed every time.

But I try to make sure that

if you do the crime, you'll do time.

Any questions?

Well, Detective Preston,

why don't you tell us about...

...the lighter side of police work?

You know. The fun days.

I chased him over three roofs.

You can't do this!

It's from the mayor.

You're a loose cannon.

- You destroyed a city block!

- He fired first.

I should read him his rights?

- You should've called for backup.

- My only backup is in a hospital bed!

His doctor called five minutes ago.

Jimmy didn't make it.

Oh, God.

Oh, God, no.

No!

- He was talking about getting out.

- It's hard.

He was like a brother to me, captain.

Since we was kids, we was partners.

We used to hang out...

...and dream about

being on the force together.

That was the dream.

Just two little Irish boys...

...fighting, scrapping,

thinking about making a difference.

God, I'm gonna miss him!

I'll need your gun

and your shield, Pete.

I may be off the force,

but I am not off this case!

- That's not in the script.

- I just threw that in at the end.

- I thought I should get the last line.

- Nailed it!

Trey, it was great. Very believable.

- But I'm not married to it.

- You can't fix perfect.

We have imaginations.

Thanks. We'll call you.

- You got my number.

- Right here.

- Moved to tears. Bye-bye.

- Take care.

- You too.

- Restroom on the left.

- Don't give up the day job.

- Unless it's acting.

1L 43, clear from code 7.

Roger, 1L 43.

Hope you had a nice lunch.

Getting ready to break my old score.

Gonna break my old record!

Now I get my grades in kills.

Just broke it!

I got the top 10 spots now!

- Anybody want to take on the Ice Trey?

- Way to lay down the law, Top Cop.

- How you doing?

- What's up?

- Mitchie Mitch! How's it going, man?

- This is a friend of mine. Rich guy.

- How you doing?

- I'm all right.

Requesting assistance, possible 211 at

the TV repair shop on 1st and Santee.

Maxis Network Channel 3 chopper.

We got a hit on the police scanner.

Something going down at 1st and Santee.

This is Maxis Mobile One.

We're on our way.

A quick left, quick right.

All day.

- We got a couple of big spenders.

- Don't get up for us.

You all want to do something?

Yeah, we were wondering

if maybe you'd throw in a free set.

Two free sets.

One for him, one for me.

What's in the bag?

- Let's do it.

- All right.

It's all here.

- All good?

- Good to go.

Good. So you show us yours.

Don't look, now.

Touchdown.

- Check the metal detector's batteries.

- How about that, Re?

Thirsty?

A lifesaver.

That's some pretty high-quality sh*t.

All right. So we're on, right?

What the hell is this?

- What the hell is going on?

- Wait. Hold on.

- This some police sh*t?

- What?

- You brought the police back here?

- Take it easy!

- Don't tell me to take it easy!

- Don't tell me to shut up.

You better calm your punk ass down!

Stop pointing that sh*t at me!

- Put that away.

- You think it's a game?

Put the gun away.

See, it's gone.

It's all over. Let's go. Come on.

Let's wrap it up.

I don't want them coming back.

All right.

What the hell is going on?

- Sh*t, we on Channel 5!

- I'm gonna blast these fools!

- What was that, a bazooka?

- You shot the wrong brother.

- I'll find the guy with the cannon.

- Hands behind your back.

I'm calling Johnnie Cochran.

I got his number. You're going down.

Okay, showtime.

Stop, police!

Okay, round two, baby.

- Freeze! L.A.P.D.!

- Undercover narcotics!

- Drop it!

- We got an officer-involved shooting!

Put your weapon down, right now!

Right now! Down!

Good job, officer!

- Smile for the camera, Ice Trey.

- Get back here! You're under arrest!

Turn that sh*t off!

Turn that sh*t off!

Out of my way! Police officer!

Look out!

Get that camera out of here!

- Are you okay?

- It went through my vest.

- We need an R.A. unit. Get away!

- I'm staying.

- Get the goddamn camera out of here.

- I'm just doing my job.

What are you doing?

Get a real job.

Talk to us.

Give us some information, something.

- Have a statement?

- Don't break the police tape.

- We have a right--

- To keep on the other side.

Aren't you the cop who got busted

with his own cuffs?

Think an officer doing his job

is funny?

Let's see how funny it is

when I move this tape back 20 feet.

- He'll be a Bloopers classic.

- Get B-roll.

Come over the tape, you'll get B-roll

of me kicking your ass down to Sunset.

- Detective Preston!

- Detective Preston!

- Why did you shoot the camera?

- Are you a loose cannon?

What happened?.

- Give me all you got.

- Brad?

Hi, Chase. Go.

I have the show to pull your

network from the ratings toilet.

- You can do public executions?

- Meet Mitch Preston.

- You know I don't read.

- Look at the pictures. Annie.

Get that fing thing out of here!

What was that?

"Detective Preston

destroys Maxis TV camera."

- That's ours.

- "Rogue cop guns down camera."

- We can sue.

- Exactly.

He's Dirty Harry, he's real

and we've got him by the balls.

I see where you're going with this.

A reality show.

- How is it different than Cops?

- Did you see?

He's a modern-day cowboy.

He's sexy, volatile. He's a bad boy,

and women love bad boys.

- He could frisk me.

- You like getting frisked?

Brad, focus. Want to see it again

in slow motion?

- I get the point. Sh*t!

- What?

- I was outbid for an A-Team lunch box.

- Okay, Brad.

- So we've got this Mitch Preston?

- We're with him 24 hours a day.

Because he's gonna blow again,

and when he does, we'll be there.

If he makes a lot of arrests,

he gets a prize?

- Who gets the prize?

- This isn't a game show.

This is one man, on his own,

kicking ass and taking names.

- Can we give him a partner?

- That's a good idea.

- We'll give him a funny-minority type.

- That'll get the NAACP off my back.

- Or is it the NCAA?

- Do we have a deal?

- Fine, go make a pilot.

- No, Brad.

This guy isn't a pilot, he's a series.

Trust me.

I'll stake my entire reputation on it.

What reputation? You still get sh*t

for faking the flammable pajama story.

You can't tell me that wasn't good TV.

Are you in or out? I'm pitching

this at Fox in half an hour.

- I'll give a six-episode commitment.

- Yes!

But if it's all pit stops at Krispy

Kreme, I'm pulling the plug...

- ...and you're out of a job.

- We'll all be out of a job.

What do they teach you in China?

Let's go. Bring it on.

- You rocked!

- We're screwed.

- We know nothing about these shows.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes