Shrek Forever After Page #17

Shrek:
I don't understand. This doesn't make any sense. True love's kiss was supposed to fix everything!

Fiona:
Yeah, you know, that's what they told me, too. True love didn't get me out of that tower. I did. I saved myself. Don't you get it? It's all just a big fairy tale.

Shrek:
Fiona, don't say that. It does exist!

Fiona:
How would you know? Did you grow up locked away in a dragon's keep? Did you live all alone in a miserable tower? Did you cry yourself to sleep every night, waiting for a true love that never came?!

Shrek:
But...but I'M your true love.

Fiona:
Then where were you when I needed you?

She then picked up her lantern, leaving the three alone on the bridge, to rescue her friends herself. Shrek just stood there, completely heartbroken, knowing now that all his chances of ever getting a kiss from Fiona and saving his own life are gone.

Donkey:
Maybe you kissed her wrong?

Shrek:
(sadly) No. The kiss didn't work...because Fiona doesn't love me.

Inside the castle, all the ogres were yelling as they were now in cages dangling from the ceiling.

Brogan:
Don't despair, fellow ogres! They can put us in cages, but they can't cage our honour!

Down below, the Piper was flute-speaking frantically to Rumpelstiltskin, explaining the situation, and the villain was furious.

Rumpelstiltskin:
(furiously) SHREK AND FIONA ARE TOGETHER?!

He frantically flute-spoke some more.

Rumpelstiltskin:
Yeah, I've heard enough of your (stomping his feet in rage) toot-a-lee-toots! YOU BLEW IT!

He then turned to Wolf.

Rumpelstiltskin:
Wolfie! My speech wig. (to Baba) Baba!

She squeaked, stammered and stood up straight.

Rumpelstiltskin:
Ready my makeup. (to the Piper) And Piper, pull my socks up.

He set the setting to socks and played his flute so Rumpelstiltskin's socks could be slithered up his legs tight like magic.

Rumpelstiltskin:
Wee tight.

Then, somewhere in a market place, the Magic Mirror's face appeared in a mirror hanging in a shop (along with other mirrors pretty much anywhere in the kingdom).

Magic Mirror:
Attention, citizens.

Some citizens, including the Muffin Man and one of the dwarves, who was digging in a trash barrell for scraps, turned their attention to the mirror in the shop.

Magic Mirror:
Please stay tuned for a message from our tyrannical dictator!

The mirror's face disappeared and then there stood Rumpelstiltskin, in another powdered wig, in front of a beachside sunset background.

Rumpelstiltskin:
(speaking gentle-like) Hello, people. (doing a curtsey) It is I, Rumpelstiltskin...shepherd of your dreams.

We then see him in a fake fern field, helping a little bird (which was also fake, obviously) fly away. When watching this, one citizen coughed. Next, Rumpelstiltskin slid backwards down a rainbow while on his back.

Rumpelstiltskin:
Recently, a certain somebody has jeopardized our joyous lives.

The scenery changed to a fiery background.

Rumpelstiltskin:
(angrily) And that somebody is the rat-munching ogre called Shrek!

On mentioning the name, a picture of Shrek with Donkey appeared right next to him. Then, the scene changed to a scenery of angels behind him.

Rumpelstiltskin:
(calmly again) That is why I come to you, dear citizens. For whomever brings me this ogre, shall receive the deal of a lifetime.

He waved his hands, and a contract labeled "Deal of a Lifetime" appeared in front of him. Then, as "Orinoco Flow" by Enya played in the background, Rumpelstiltskin appeared on top of a mountain.

Rumpelstiltskin:
Just think of it! Total and complete happiness.

Since this message appeared on all magic mirrors, it even appeared on a mirror that the three pigs, with the potty box, broom, and soap tub, were nearby, happened to see this as well. Even the Wolf, pushing the wig cart, saw this. The four were more than interested in getting the deal and not having to put up with Rumpelstiltskin anymore.

Heimlich:
Ja!

We now see the dictator's head spinning with gold coins raining in the background.

Rumpelstiltskin:
Dazzling, radiant fulfilment! All your greatest wishes.

Gingy and his animal crackers saw this on the mirror, and the gingerbread man was interested as well.

Gingy:
(breaks his candy cane in half) Yeah!

The deal maker appeared, sitting on a goose's back, next to a beachside.

Rumpelstiltskin:
Your wildest dreams.

Next, he was in front of a painting of his castle with fireworks shooting.

Rumpelstiltskin:
Anything you could ever want! No strings attached!

Pinocchio, who was tangled upside-down in ropes and sleeping, heard this commercial and was interested as well.

Pinocchio:
Ooooh.

Then, the dictator appeared next to a big hourglass.

Rumpelstiltskin:
But hurry, this is a limited time offer.

The final scenery we see is Rumpelstiltskin's angry face in front of a painting of a burning city.

Rumpelstiltskin:
So light your torches, sharpen your pitchforks and get your mob on!

The message got through to all citizens of Far Far Away as they all got their pitchforks and torches and began storming through the kingdom to hunt down Shrek, capture him and get their reward.

Mob:
Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!

Mob Member:
Go back where you came from!

The mob passed a brick wall. If they had stayed a little longer, they would have seen Shrek, Donkey, and Puss come out of hiding.

Puss:
It seems that we are safe.

Donkey:
Yeah, it looks a lot less pitchforky and torchy out there. Let's go.

Shrek:
What's the point? The kiss didn't work. It's over.

Donkey:
Look, Shrek, I know things might seem a little bleak right now, but things always work themselves out in the end, you'll see.

The ogre slapped his forehead.

Donkey:
I bet by this time tomorrow...

He couldn't hold it in any longer, so he finally started to shout.

Shrek:
Don't you understand? There is no tomorrow. There's no day after that, and there's no day after THAT day after that! My life was perfect and I'm never going to get it back!

Donkey:
If your life was so perfect, why'd you sign it away to Rumpelstiltskin?

Shrek:
Because I didn't know what I had until it was gone! All right?

He sighed sadly.

Shrek:
I didn't know what I had.

He looked like he was about to cry, but then he felt something and heard tiny shouting. He looked down and saw Gingy hitting and attacking his feet with his lollipop.

Gingy:
Ha! Chah! Surrender now! I'm taking you in!

Of course, Shrek was not affected by this at all. He just stood there with a dry look as Gingy kept attacking and shouting.

Gingy:
Don't try to fight it, ogre! The reward is mine!

Shrek:
Gingy?

He picked the gingerbread man up.

Gingy:
You unhand me, green devil!

Shrek:
What are you doing?

Gingy:
Collecting my bounty!

Puss:
Bounty?

Donkey:
What are you talking about, cracker?

Gingy:
Rumpelstiltskin promised the deal of a lifetime for whoever could bring you in.

Shrek:
Deal of a lifetime?

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