Shrek Forever After Page #7

Shrek:
My home. (runs to it) Fiona!

However, the structure was very solid when he came up to it.

Shrek:
Fiona! Are you in there?!

He then used his ogre strength to pound his way through the soil structure three times and soon created a hole which he fell in through. He got up and saw that the place was empty, and not only that but there was no furniture. It was all a dark underground setting with dirt and roots as far as the eye can see. He walked around, pushed through some dangling roots, and saw a rat on one root, before it and other rats scampered away. Shrek then frowned in anger before leaving the structure.

Shrek:
(yelling out) All right, Rumpel! This wasn’t part of the deal!

He looked around and saw all the trees in his swamp all dry and leafless. Not only that, but there was no grass, plants or any swamp water. The place looked like a complete dried-up wasteland.

Shrek:
Rumpel!

But not an answer came. Shrek then dug in his shirt and pulled out the folded-up contract that he unfolded, and thought to have a better look at it. Then something flew above him, making a 'woosh' sound. He thought it was nothing, but then there were two more quick figures flying above him. He then turned around and saw what appeared to be a pack of witches flying on their broomsticks. One witch, Broomsy Witch, spotted Shrek down below.

Broomsy:
(points) Ogre!

Shrek gave a confused shrug. The other witches joined Broomsy.

Broomsy:
We’ve got another one, ladies! Get him!

The witches all cackled as they dove in, flying in a circle around the swamp.

Shrek:
Who are you?! What are you doing in my swamp?

One laughing witch came swooping right at him, but he grabbed her broom, and she ended up yelling in alarm as she came crashing towards a tree. She got caught in the tree with her kicking feet sticking out.

Broomsy:
Looks like a troublemaker!

She got out an apple, used her teeth to pluck out the stem like a grenade pin and chucked it towards Shrek's feet, to his confusion. Then the apple started spinning around like mad releasing smoke from it, and when smoke clouded the spot where Shrek was, he coughed as he tried waving the smoke away. Then one chain with an iron skull was swung and ensnared Shrek by the arm. The witches continued cackling as another witch tossed another chain with a chattering skull to ensnare Shrek by the ankle, and one more chain grabbed Shrek by the second ankle.

Broomsy:
Spread ‘em!

Shrek yelped as he was pulled by the chains and lifted up in the air by the witches taking him away. He screamed as he was pulled up, and hit a part of what would have been the roof of his home along the way out. The witches cackled some more as they carried their prisoner off.

Broomsy:
Nice job, ladies!

Shrek used his fist to break off the chain carrying his arm, forcing him to drop to the ground, but was still being dragged by the chains carrying his legs, grunting as he hit the ground before the witches managed to pull him back up in the air.

Shrek:
You witches are making a big mistake! I know my rights!

Witch #2:
You have the right to shut your mouth!

The witch then threw a flaming pumpkin at him, and once it exploded upon hitting him, everything went black. Sometime later, Shrek was lying down asleep somewhere, as a familiar voice was heard singing outside.

Donkey's Voice:
(singing) Just thinking about tomorrow Clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow 'Til there's none

When I'm stuck with a day That's gray And lonely

Shrek:
(groans) Donkey, stop with the singing, will you?

His eyes opened up in realization.

Donkey's Voice:
(singing) I just stick out my chin, And grin, And say

Shrek:
Donkey!

He hit his head on the ceiling.

Shrek:
Ow!

He then looked and found out he was in some sort of cage on wheels.

Donkey's Voice:
(singing) Oh, the sun'll come out tomorrow So you gotta hang on 'til tomorrow

He peeked and saw Donkey, fuzzier, pulling the carriage he was in.

Donkey:
(singing) Come what may Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, Tomorrow!

Shrek:
Donkey, where am I? What’s happening?

There were two witches on top of the cage in charge of driving.

Cage Witch #1:
(hits Shrek with her broom) Quiet down there! Oh, I hate this song.

She whipped Donkey, making him yelp as he sang a different song.

Donkey:
(singing) But I made up my mind I'm keeping my baby Ooooh

Cage Witch #2:
Yeah, I’m driving, so I’m in charge of the music.

She took the instrument of torture and gave the donkey another lash.

Donkey:
Will you witches make up your mind?

The only response was another lash.

Donkey:
(singing) No matter what they take from me

The second witch grinned, apparently liking the song as she nudged her partner, who also liked the song. They even started to sing along.

Donkey and Witches: (singing) They can't take away my dignity Because the greatest love of all

Shrek:
Donkey? What’s going on? Do you know where Fiona is?

As the witches kept singing, Donkey quietly spoke to him.

Donkey:
Quiet, ogre! You’re gonna get me in trouble and I need this job. I am not going back to work for Old MacDonald. Tell me to E-I-E-I-O. "E-I-E-I-No!" That’s what I said.

Shrek:
Where are my babies? (as Donkey rolls his eyes) And where’s your wife, Dragon?

Donkey:
Look, I think you have me confused with some other talking donkey. I’ve never seen you before in my life.

Shrek:
(puzzled) Never seen me before? Come on, Donkey!

Donkey:
And how do you know my name anyway?

Shrek:
It’s me, Shrek. Your best friend?

Donkey:
A donkey and an ogre friends? That’s the most ridiculous thing I ever heard!

As Donkey kept pulling the cage, Shrek fumed in frustration.

Shrek:
Can you at least tell me where they’re taking me?

Donkey:
To the same place they take every ogre. To Rumpelstiltskin.

Shrek:
Stiltskin!

Witch #1:
(hits Shrek with her broom) I said "quiet"!

The second witch whipped Donkey again.

Donkey:
(singing) Hit me with your best shot

She gave him another lash.

Donkey:
(singing) Why don't you hit me with your best shot

She gave him another lash, as if taking the lyrics literally.

Donkey:
(singing) Hit me with your best shot

Shrek then pounded the cage angrily as he saw something definitely different, and to his horror, it was most of the letters of the Far, Far Away sign destroyed.

Shrek:
Oh, no.

Donkey:
(singing) Fire away!

To make matters worse, the green hills of the kingdom were now like a barren wasteland, and the castle is replaced with a huge fortress of a castle with a familiar carriage at the top, with a big 'R' on top as well.

As Donkey pulled the cage through the village, Shrek looked on in disgust at how different Far, Far Away was in this alternate universe. The villagers were all scrounging for something or living miserably.

Muffin Man's Voice: It’s time to crumble! Place your bets! Place your bets!

Shrek turned, seeing a small crowd gathered around a small makeshift arena, placing bets, with the Muffin Man holding a spatula with a certain gingerbread man.

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