Shrek the Musical Page #10

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Can you forgive me?

Hey, that's what friends are for,

right?

Right.

- Friends?

- Oh! Friends!

So, what did Fiona

say about me?

What are you asking me for?

Why don't you just go ask her?

Donkey!

The wedding!

- We'll never make it in time!

- I know someone who can help!

People of Duloc,

we gather here today to bear witness

to the union of our

new king and queen.

And as the warm glow

of this setting sun lifts our heads,

so too does the...

Excuse me.

Could we just skip to the "I do's"?

- What?

- Uh, yeah. Go on, go on.

Right, well then, do you, Lord Farquaad,

take Princess Fiona?

- I do.

- And do you...

- I do.

- Yes, I thought you might.

Well, then,

by the power vested in me...

- Stop the wedding!

- Shrek?

What does he want?

Really, it's rude enough

being alive when no one wants you,

but showing up uninvited to a wedding?

- Fiona, I need to talk to you.

- Oh, now you want to talk?

Well, it's a little late for that,

so if you'll excuse me...

- But you can't marry him!

- And why not?

Because he's just marrying you

so he can be king.

That is outrageous!

- Fiona, don't listen to him.

- He's not your true love.

And what do you know

about true love?

Well... I...

Um...

Oh... Oh...

Aw...

Well, this is precious. Huh? Hm?

The ogre has fallen in love

with the princess. Oh, good Lord.

Mm! Guards, take this abomination

out of my sight!

No!

I mean...

Let's hear what the monster has to say.

It might be worth a laugh.

Oh, you are awful.

Well, you heard her, ogre.

Express yourself. Hm?

With as few grunts as possible.

Right. OK.

Um...

It's a big, bright, beautiful world

With happiness all around

It's peaches and cream

If a dream comes true

Awkward!

Little bit.

Look at that.

It's a big, bright,

beautiful world

With possibilities everywhere

If true love is blind

Maybe you won't mind the view?

I know I'm not the handsome prince

For whom you've waited

I don't have a fancy castle

And I'm not sophisticated

A princess and an ogre

I admit is complicated

You've never read a book like this

But fairy tales

Should really be

Updated

It's a big, bright,

beautiful world

I see it now, I'll let it in

I'll tear down a wall

And clear a spot for two

To be with you

Boo!

Are we ready, darling? Hm?

- I can't.

- Stop the wedding!

Filthy wedding crashers!

Guards, stop him! Stop him!

We've taken your abuse

for the last time, Farquaad!

- Well, no more!

- It ends today!

- Power to the piggies!

- We demand our homes back!

And our rightful place in Duloc!

Right, guys?

- Yeah!

- How dare you freaks

interrupt my wedding?

Freaks, huh?

Well, I guess it takes

one to know one.

- What?

- Be prepared to have your mind blown.

- Hi-ho!

- Daddy! Oh, Daddy.

I suppose my invitation

was lost in the mail?

Well, maybe if you hadn't

abandoned me in the woods!

Abandoned you?

You were 28 and living in my basement!

Loser.

People of Duloc,

your leader is a half ling!

No! No, no, no. Don't listen to him.

- Just like all of us.

- Not a freak! Not a freak!

I'm a king! I'm a big, tall man!

I'm a big, tall, giant man

with a kingdom!

Not a freak!

I have a castle!

Behold!

Bring in the lanterns!

- Stop the wedding!

- Whoa!

Fiona?

I wanted to show you before.

Well, uh...

...that explains a lot.

Ew. Ew, ah!

Ugh! Ugh! It's disgusting!

Guards! Guards! Guards!

All this

hocus-pocus alters nothing!

This marriage is binding and that

makes me king! See? Ha-ha!

As for you, my wife,

I'll have you locked back in that

tower for the rest of your days.

No, actually, you won't.

What are you doing, you insolent beast?

I'll see you drawn and quartered!

I am king! I will have order!

Nobody move! I got a dragon here,

and I'm not afraid to use it!

I'm a donkey on the edge!

- Fiona, I love you.

- Really?

Really, really.

I love you, too.

- Aw!

- Yay!

"By day one way, by night another,

this shall be the norm,

until you find true love's first kiss

and then take love's true form...

then take love's true form. "

Fiona, are you all right?

Well, yes,

but I don't understand.

I'm supposed to

be beautiful.

But you are beautiful.

Once upon a time to look like us

would be a pity

But now we know that beautiful

Ain't always pretty

I waited all my life

Lived it by the book

Now I know that's not my story

You take me as I am

Love me as I look

Standing here in all my glory

I am sweetness, lam bratty

I'm a princess, I'm a fatty

I'm a mess of contradictions

in a dress

I am sassy, I am sappy

When I'm with you I am happy

This is my story

You laugh at all my jokes

Even though they're crude

You don't mind that I'm not classy

- We make a perfect pair

- We make a perfect pair

- Radiant and rude

- Radiant and rude

- So in love and much too gassy

- So in love and much too gassy

- We are ogres, we are scary

- We are ogres, we are scary

We are donkeys, we are hairy

We have bold

and brand-new stories to be told

We will write them

We will tell them

You will hear them

You will smell them

This is our story

And that is how the little ogre

came to live on the swamp

with a beautiful princess.

- And his best friend.

- And his best friend.

And the Gingerbread Man!

- And a very handsome puppet!

- And an elf!

- And a fairy godmother!

- And a witch!

- And a cross-dressing wolf!

- And the three pigs!

What makes us special

- What makes us special

- What makes us special

- What makes us special

- What makes us special

What makes us special

makes us strong

We are witches, we are fairies

We are weirdoes

I'm an Aries!

We're a giant

Whitman's Sampler here to try

We are puppets

We are rabbits

We are hobbits with bad habits

We're a screwy

but delighted crazy stew

We are different and united

You are us and we are you

This is our story

This is our story

This is our story

God bless us, everyone!

The end!

I thought love

was only true in fairy tales

Meant for someone else

but not for me

Love was out to get me

That's the way it seemed

Disappointment

haunted all my dreams

- And then I saw her face

- I saw her face

- Now I'm a believer

- I saw her face

- Not a trace

- No, not a trace

- Of doubt in my mind

- In my mind

- I'm in love

- Ooh

I'm a believer

I couldn't leave her if I tried

I thought love was

more or less a givin' thing

But the more I gave

the less I got, oh, yeah

Oh, yeah

- What's the use in trying

- What's the use in trying

Doo-doo-doo-doo

- All you get is pain

- All you get is pain

Doo-doo-doo-doo

- When I wanted sunshine I got rain

- When I wanted sunshine I got rain

I got rain, I got rain

Hey, you all, can I say something?

And then I saw her face

Now I'm a believer

Whoo!

Not a trace

Of doubt in my mind

Hey, how you doing?

- I'm in love

- Ooh, ah

I'm a believer

I couldn't leave her if I tried

Then I saw her face

Now I'm a believer

Whoo!

Oh, not a trace

Of doubt in my mind

- I'm in love

- I'm in love

- Now I'm a believer

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