Sideways Page #16

Jack glares at Miles, who immediately gets the hint.

MILES:

Nope. You ladies choose.

Jack smiles and nods his approval. Jack takes the book out

of Miles's hands and offers it to the girls.

MAYA:

You choose, Stephanie.

STEPHANIE:

(opening it)

So what does everyone feel like?

JACK:

Whatever you girls want. It's on us

tonight. Sky's the limit.

MAYA:

No, we're paying for the wine.

JACK:

I don't think so. We're celebrating

Miles's book deal.

MAYA:

Well, in that case...

Miles draws a long breath.

STEPHANIE:

What's everyone ordering? Then we

can sort out the wine.

MILES:

Exactement!

Jack shoots Miles a look.

MAYA:

I'm having the salmon.

MILES:

That's what I'm having.

STEPHANIE:

(still scanning the

wines)

I'm thinking about the duck breast.

JACK:

(slapping his menu

shut)

Me too.

MAYA:

Well, that narrows things down.

Stephanie lowers the menu so that only her eyes peer over

the top. She looks at the others, and they look back at her.

STEPHANIE:

Sounds like... Pinot Noir to me.

Jack looks at Miles and raises one hand for a HIGH-FIVE.

JACK:

Pinot!

Miles reluctantly slaps Jack's hand. This causes the girls

to laugh. MUSIC STARTS -- they're OFF!

DINNER is improvised, but includes:

-- The arrival of the FIRST WINE.

-- The SALADS.

-- Maya takes a turn with the wine list. Miles pushes her

finger down into the prices with THREE DIGITS.

-- New stemware is provided with the arrival of the SECOND

WINE.

-- The four of them DRINK. Particularly Miles.

-- Stephanie and Jack get cozier and cozier.

-- The SALMON and DUCK arrive.

-- Miles is too shy to look into Maya's eyes. She's interested

and available -- it's too much for him.

-- As Miles gets DRUNKER, the camera angles become sloppier,

the cutting choppier.

-- Miles PONTIFICATES about some aspect of wine that Maya

and Stephanie find interesting. Left out in the cold, his

jaw tight, Jack wants to find a way in but can't.

-- Miles reaches over to refill his glass, but Jack's arm

shoots out to stop him -- "Slow down."

CLOSE ON MILES as a distant RUMBLE begins to sound, the rumble

of an oncoming ANXIETY ATTACK. By now he has drunk so much

that he spaces out, descending into --

INT. UNDERWORLD - DARK AND TIMELESS

Miles is boarding an OPEN BOAT atop this underground river,

the River Styx. Just beyond a ghoulish HUMAN CARGO the hooded

boatman CHARON wields a long staff. Miles is crossing over

to the dark side.

INT. LOS OLIVOS CAFE - BACK AGAIN

Miles returns to earth to find Jack and Stephanie now in

their own little world -- Jack explaining something to

Stephanie that she finds fascinating, just FASCINATING.

-- Miles converses with Maya, but it's clear from her bemused

expression that he's being charming if not entirely coherent.

-- ANOTHER WINE reaches the table -- a Comte Armand Pornrnard.

-- Miles looks over at Jack and Stephanie. They share a short

but sensual kiss.

MOMENTS LATER --

Miles is on his feet threading his way through the tables.

He is very unsteady, and we cut between first and third person

perspectives.

AT THE BATHROOMS --

He tries the MEN'S ROOM door but it's locked. He pulls the

XANAX out his pocket and pops one in his mouth, swallowing

it dry.

He notices a PAYPHONE nearby. Thinking better of it for a

moment, Miles makes a drunken bee-line for the receiver.

CLOSE ON THE KEYPAD --

as many numbers are dialed, and we HEAR the TONES, completely

out of sync, along with a sound melange of interior phone

RINGING and a PICKUP.

THE RECEIVER --

As Miles presses it desperately to his head.

VICTORIA (ON THE PHONE)

Hello?

MILES:

Victoria.

VICTORIA (ON THE PHONE)

Miles?

Miles feigns an implausible upbeat tone.

MILES:

Victoria! How the hell are you?

VICTORIA (ON THE PHONE)

Fine. What's, uh, what's on your

mind?

MILES:

Heard you got remarried!

Congratulations. Didn't think you

had the stomach for another go-round.

VICTORIA (ON THE PHONE)

Oh, Miles. You're drunk.

MILES:

Just some local Pinot, you know,

then a little Burgundy. That old

Cotes de Beaune!

Miles laughs at his own non-existent joke.

VICTORIA (ON THE PHONE)

Where are you?

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