Silent Retreat Page #2

All right then.

Carry on.

Peace be with you, Tedi.

You too, kiddo.

What's up, dude?

Morning.

Looks like someone got

some ass last night.

That's kind of a personal

matter, don't you think?

Not if you have ears, it's not.

Hey, you ever play that

game ass, Cooter, mouth?

Ass, Cooter, mouth, uh, no.

I can't say that I have.

How do you play?

Well, you give me a

number one through three,

and I try and guess which hole

you stuck it in last night.

What if I say all three?

What if I say high five?

Smack.

Not necessarily in

that order though.

You're all right, man.

You're a f***ing douchebag.

Heard that.

Good morning, lira.

I said, good morning, lira.

Good morning, Tedi.

Hey, you know that expression,

'that girl's got spunk'?

Yeah.

Well, when they say it about you

I think they mean

it quite literally.

It's called toothpaste, dipshit.

You should try it.

Yeah, I will.

I do that after

I have my coffee.

That way I get that clean

mouth feeling all day.

Do you know where they

keep the toothpicks?

Yeah.

Joel's got one between his legs.

Right?

Hey, buddy.

Can I kill him, Dale,

please?

Not unless you find

me a new programmer.

Tedi's kind of like that

fat guy in Jurassic park.

We loose him and all

hell breaks loose.

Yeah.

If it wasn't for me, you'd

be up to your dick sucker

in dinosaurs.

Let me know if you

change your mind.

I'm making omelets.

Who wants one?

No thanks.

Oh, god, Dale. No.

What's wrong with my omelets.

They're made with love.

Whoa.

What happened to you?

What?

What?

Psalm 23,

the lord is my Shepherd,

I shall not want.

He makes me to lie

down in green pastures.

He leads me beside

the still waters.

He restoreth my soul.

He leads me in paths of

righteousness for his namesake.

Yea, though I walk through the

valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil,

for thou art with me.

Thy rod and thy staff,

they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table for me in

the presence of mine enemies.

Thou anointest my head with oil.

My cup runeth over.

Surely goodness and

mercy shall follow

me all the days of my life.

And I shall dwell in the

house of the lord forever.

All right. Who's missing?

Not me.

Anybody seen Rita?

Uh, yeah.

She went for a jog this morning.

Did she say where she was going?

F*** if I know.

She probably went to

find Jesus or something.

Should we wait for her?

Uh, no.

We've covered most

of this already.

I'll just fill her in

when she gets back.

Yeah.

Let's get this

party started, huh?

Let's get down to business.

I'd like to start off

by saying thank you

to all of you for the

past quarter's extra work.

I really appreciate

all your effort.

You're welcome.

Okay.

My design team, you're

going to be happy to know,

your prayers are

finally being answered.

You're transferring Tedi?

Oh, forest, you break my heart.

Oh, we still love you,

Tedi, just from far away.

Like a fine work of art.

Yeah, something like that.

I'm upgrading your

workstations with the new Imacs.

Retina display, flash

drives, the whole deal.

Yes.

I thought you'd like that.

What about storage?

Um, I'll have to look

into it, but storage is cheap.

It shouldn't be a problem

getting it authorized.

Hey, uh, what about

loosening up Websense?

I mean, it's not like I

can't hack through that sh*t

if I wanted to.

You know I could.

I just... why waste

my time, you know?

You only want them

to take down Websense,

so you can look at porn.

Whoa, it is not my fault the

server crashes every time

I try and download

your sex tape.

You're going to die.

Lira.

Children, could you

come back to the table?

All of a sudden came the thunder

of hooves rushing up the path.

A dark figure in a black cloak

rode it's horse

toward the porch.

The old man walked

down the front stairs.

And the cloaked figure stopped

his horse just outside

the pool of light

that was being cast

by the lanterns

hung above the porch.

The old man staggered back.

Shot twice, once in the neck

and the other in his chest.

The dark figure rose

up onto his horse

and fled down the Lane

disappearing into the night.

Friends rushed to

the old man's aid,

but it was already too late.

The first shot had bored

a quarter sized hole.

Now's your chance.

To a chamber...

What the hell are

you talking about?

Chicks get super turned

on when they're scared.

Like you would know.

Trust me.

Both times I scored the chick

was either drunk or scared.

I think one of the

times she was both.

Alright.

Hey, hey, Zac?

Just in case.

Thanks, Tedi.

Do you guys mind?

No.

Sorry. It was just getting

really good, Dale.

Please continue.

Thanks.

Now as I was saying,

so much blood

poured from the old man's

wounds that a thick pool

formed underneath his head.

He coughed once.

And then again,

the second being

a hideous gurgling

sound as though

two invisible hands

were choking the old

man to death,

squeezing the very

life out of him.

The sound sent a shiver

up the spines of everyone

who heard the old man's

last dying breath.

Hey.

Dale's ghost story

getting to you?

Oh yeah.

I'm going to have

nightmares for weeks.

Here.

I brought you some Pinot.

Trying to get me liquored up?

Maybe.

Is it working?

Maybe.

This is really good.

Compliments of Mr. sau.

You know, I was a little

taken back by him joining us

on our little retreat

here, but, um,

now I'm starting to think it

might have its benefits.

Having a rich boyfriend

does have its advantages.

Are you sure?

I wouldn't know.

I'm a 'two buck

Chuck' type of girl.

You okay?

Yeah.

I'm all right.

No.

There's something wrong.

I see it in your eyes.

Oh.

You can read my

eyes now, can you?

Yeah. I can.

I bet you can't even tell

me what color they are.

Well?

They are brown.

I know. I'm just

messing with you.

And you stole that

from AXL rose.

How do you know he

didn't steal that from me?

Because you're

not that sensitive.

I am sensitive, dammit.

As if AXL rose is

Mr. sensitivity.

Hey, I'm sure he's a nice

guy once you get to know him.

That's like saying

he's an a**hole,

but you'll get to used to it.

No it's not.

He once threw a girl

down a flight of stairs.

Well, I'm sure he

had good reason to.

Yeah, he did.

Because she wouldn't

sleep with him.

That will do it.

That is not funny.

That is...

Why, why are you laughing?

I am not laughing.

I see that.

Damn you, Zac.

Why do you always have

this messed up way

of making me feel better?

I don't know how you do it.

Are you going to tell me

what's wrong?

Rita's not back yet.

Are you sure?

I thought she was just avoiding

Dale's tale of the occult in there.

I'm pretty sure, Zac.

She's been gone all day.

Have you told Dale?

No.

I didn't want to spoil his fun.

A whole hell of a lot of fun.

Should we go back in?

If we have to.

From that day on the servants

couldn't keep the porch clean.

Every few weeks a

damp pool of blood

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