Simon Konianski
- Year:
- 2009
- 100 min
- 11 Views
to mary a ''nice pianist''
To my grandfather
and his recycIed teabags
To my grandmother
and her deIightfuI insinceity
Watch the walls and the paper.
He touched it...
This is great!
You'll be fine here.
lt's cosy, welcoming,
nicely decorated...
And your dad's delighted
to have you to stay!
Three weeks later
Awake at last.
Look,
l've found a good ad for you.
They need a science teacher.
You can do science, nu?
Dad, l studied philosophy.
Philosophy, ok!
l didn't do physics,
science, mathematics...
So? Aiob's a iob.
You can't stay on the dole here
forever.
l iust woke.
Wait until 10 to bust my balls.
lt is 10, you layabout!
Put the talisman
as close as possible to your son.
Under his bed,
in his jacket's lining,
or in his briefcase.
He doesn't have a briefcase, Rebbe.
He doesn't even have a iob.
Never mind. Just make sure
he doesn't find it.
Just give it three weeks.
He'll find work,
he'll meet a nice girl
and, above all, he'll move out.
May God hear you, Rebbe.
But she has to be
a nice Jewish girl, Rebbe.
Not a shikse like that dancer
who dumped him.
Of course, Elias ben Moshe,
it only works for nice Jewish girls.
Coming!
Maurice, is that you?
You'll be here in two minutes?
Yes, stop shouting!
l'll check the street.
No, l don't see anyone.
No one, ok. Not even you, l see.
Where are you?
l see you now. l see you!
Relax, Moishe.
You're safe here.
No one sawyou come in.
Want some tea?
Just a drop then.
l'm getting those belly pains again.
The BeIgian govemment
is pressing both sides
for a truce in Gaza...
A truce now? They're crazy on TV!
Those Hamas Nazis want a truce?
Why is that thing
still round your neck, son?
You're better now, aren't you?
You could keep it on
for a year then?
Where's the remote?
Hundreds of people
took shelter here...
Dad, turn it down.
They thought they would be safe
inside a school.
But four Israeli rockets
Ianded in the compound,
injuing 40 peopIe.
Hi, Uncle Maurice.
Great hiding place.
Earlier, in Gaza,
another UN gchool wag attacked.
Simon, did anyone follow you here
when you came up?
The street's always empty.
lt's Mr Hirsh's.
And the van next to it?
That's the Stasi.
They've been waiting for you.
Listen here, Simon,
don't you make fun of me!
l fought in Spain, Simon,
So tell me whose van it is!
l don't know.
There's no one out there, ok!
Don't get Uncle's blood pressure up!
Listen, Ernest, l'm going now.
See? He's leaving because ofyou!
You unworthy son!
Sh*t...
Nothing for me.
Move, you're not see-through.
And that teaching post?
lt's in Liege, in mathematics.
Take the train.
The train's not so bad.
l do a degree in mathematics first?
Ty to make an effort.
Your cousin Isaac never studied
and look at him now.
A nice wife, three children
and owner of a ''four-sided'' home.
- Lucky guy!
- Exactly.
But my son won't take the train
or get up at 7
to go to work.
He's too good for mathematics.
My son's been to university!
Knowwhen l started work?
Back then, you did anyiob going
and didn't live at home
until you were 36!
Dad, l've told you a thousand times:
this is temporay!
- Quiet! l'm not deaf.
- You are.
Hard of hearing,
Professor Berkenbaum said.
Doctor Berkenbaum is as deaf as you.
Professor, not doctor!
You keep the sound up
for Berkenbaum and the neighbours?
Shut up! Berkenbaum told me
not to let you wind me up!
lt's you, Corazon.
How are you, my dear?
How's my grandson?
Is school ok too?
Yes, he's right here.
l'll put him on.
Your goy.
Don't call her that!
Hello, Cori?
Just a second,
l'll go to another room.
Sh*t!
Sory, Corazon, l totally forgot.
l was at the hospital
and l had to keep my phone off.
Don't get mad, l'm going.
Schmuli!
Schmuli!
Dad!
Excuse me,
but why is he wrapped up
when it's so hot here?
You should have been here
to pick him up an hour ago.
We kept calling you.
Without your wife,
l'd have called the cops.
You should have hit him first
and given him a cold shower, sadist!
Screwyou, sir!
You haven't been stuck here an hour!
l don't think you get it.
Screwyou, you Nazi!
F***...
Are you ok?
Are you ok, Dad?
Do you need an ambulance?
Does it hurt a lot?
l'm ok.
Sory, l shouldn't have hit you.
Yes...
l know, not after 8.
You told me 100 times.
No Coke, no crisps.
You think l'm stupid?
Of course he'll do his teeth!
Come on, Corazon,
it only happened once.
l have my ticket for your ballet.
l'm coming anyway.
It's a f***ing free county!
Ok, Schmuli?
Knowwhat we'll do this weekend?
We'll do some great stuff.
We'll go to McDonald's
and to the movies.
Mum says l can't drink Coke.
We'll have Fanta.
Can we buy me a rabbit?
Forget the rabbit. Your mum said no.
She's stubborn.
Please...
lt's not fair.
Please...
Stop it, you're being a pain!
l'll ask Karl
to buy me a rabbit then.
Who's Karl?
He sleeps in Mum's bed.
Who is this Nazi bastard?
l don't know.
l think he's in Mum's show.
She doesn't waste time!
You ok, Dad?
What's this Karl like?
ls he tall?
Good-looking?
Tougher than Dad?
Yes, he's stronger than Dad.
But he's not as funny.
Great.
He asks about you.
He wants to be your friend.
Ok, cut it out now.
Dad doesn't like Karl
and he's heard enough!
Grandpa!
Schmuli!
Look, this is for you, sweetheart.
No presents. It's not his birthday,
Easter or Christmas.
lt's Sukkoth, you goy,
in case you forgot.
l'm allowed to spoil
my only grandson.
Know what we're going to do?
We'll have a big chocolate sundae.
You know my chocolate sundae recipe?
Yes, Grandpa, ice cream
and tons of chocolate sauce!
lt's bad for your cholesterol too.
Screw my cholesterol!
l've told you 100 times
not to smoke in your room!
You only smoke on the balcony.
You'll asphyxiate us!
Don't burn that, you fool!
You'll jinx the lot of us.
Give me that!
What have you done?
Thank you, Rebbe.
Tell me,
do you keep the TV on full blast?
And you won't let him smoke?
And he still won't leave?
No, Rebbe.
So piss in the washbasin now.
- Out ofthe way!
- Shoot, Grandpa!
Pass to Fabregas.
Fabregas to Deco.
Deco to Ronaldinho
who heads for the goal.
Ronaldinho about to shoot...
And he scores!
Goal! What do you say to Grandpa?
Grandpa scored!
Already tired, my son?
You know, sport's important
for your health.
Even at Maidanek, l worked out.
Even when it was minus 20
and l hadn't eaten for days,
with my lungs full of pus...
Stop!
l don't want to hear any more!
l'm not listening.
l'm not interested, ok!
Just think, Schmuli...
No one wants to hear
about what they did to us in Poland.
The shame of it!
l'll listen to you, Grandpa.
You're sweet,
my little Schmuli-yngele.
Dad, that's disgusting!
Use the toilet!
lf l want to piss
in my kitchen sink,
l'll piss in my kitchen sink!
0 fans
Submitted on August 05, 2018
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