Small Town Crime Page #7

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that musket?

It's a high-quality

musket, son.

It's your bed.

Frankly,

I'm surprised

you made it out.

These motherfuckers

murdered two of my girls.

You must've taken

quite a loss.

Oh, you think

this is business, huh?

I see what you did

to my granddaughter.

You know, I found her

living on the street,

rolling tricks

for dime bags.

I raised her rate,

gave her a roof.

You wanna get

all mystical

and start searching

for answers and sh*t,

maybe you ought to think

about what y'all did.

You sure you can shoot

a fool from this far?

I can rip the heart

right out of his chest.

[ominous music playing]

Just stay put.

You drunk?

I'm comfortable.

Looks like you caught

a stitch in your side.

Looks worse than it is.

The girl?

Teddy first.

[Orthopedic]

All right, tough guy.

I'll show you mine first.

Where's your partner?

Does it matter?

[ominous music playing]

Oh, he got the prick.

There's some sh*t right here.

[Orthopedic] All right.

Just so we're all

on the same page,

Captain Sh*t Heels here

makes any sudden moves,

trigger gets pulled

and off goes his head.

The same goes for me.

If I'm forced to make

any sudden moves...

trigger gets pulled

and off goes

his f***ing head.

I'm sensing a theme here.

Mike?

I'm here, buddy.

Oh, f***.

Take the shot, come on.

All right, Mike.

Time for you

to show me yours.

Sure.

[dramatic music playing]

Let's go, sweetheart.

Take the shot,

Steve, come on.

All right.

Here you go,

take her.

This all could

have been so simple.

Yeah, it didn't

work for me.

Yeah.

Mind if I finish my beer?

Go right ahead.

Make the shot old man,

come on, take the shot.

Stay down, Teddy.

[Teddy] Mike!

- Mike!

- Aah!

What the heck?

Mike!

Stay put Teddy, stay down.

Sh*t.

[Teddy] Mike!

[gunshots]

[Mike] He wouldn't go down.

Motherfuckers had vests on.

[Mike] Steve.

[Steve] I'm here.

I'm hit. Son of a b*tch.

Mike.

I got you, buddy.

- Okay.

- I got you.

[gunshot]

[gunshot]

[dramatic music playing]

[Mood] Come on.

Somebody help these fools.

Mike.

We just spent our morning

in the judge's chambers.

It appears

the court is, uh,

inclined to rule

in self-defense.

Really?

You just lucked out.

What about the girl?

Agreed to testify.

She's in protective custody,

but she'll end up in a home

after the trial.

- We'll hope for the best.

- [Scott] Right now,

we've got two

of the three pricks in custody.

They're partners,

all of them.

They run a high-end

real estate firm

in Orange County.

First one came pretty easy.

[reporters yelling]

Number two gave us

a little chase.

[officer] He's running.

He's running.

- [cops shouting]

- [woman screams]

Freeze! Freeze!

On the ground.

- On the ground.

- Okay.

Get down on the ground.

Those were

$200 wingtips, man.

Number three,

William Ritter, owns a boat,

sailed himself

into Mexico.

So, it's probably gonna take

a dump-truck-size shitload

of paperwork to get

his ass out of there.

At least six months

to extradite. And that's...

only if we can convince

the district attorney

this guy's even

worth the trouble.

Worst part is we know

exactly where he's at.

[Scott]

An old fishing village,

couple miles south

of Costa Maya.

We just thought you might

wanna know that.

[upbeat music playing]

[teacher] You have two hours.

I repeat, that is two hours

exactly to complete this exam.

It is multiple choice.

You will begin... now.

Heard they ruled

that shooting...

self-defense.

They did.

That's good.

Took the private

investigator's exam

this morning.

Seemed like

I knew most of it.

I think this is something

I could be good at.

Even if I am a f***-up.

Yeah.

Might be.

How's Kelly?

[Teddy] It's not gonna

happen right now, Mike.

Thought maybe

we could get a drink.

Maybe a coffee.

Uh, gonna need some time.

[lawnmower starts]

[singer] When I think

of all the good times

That I've wasted

having good times

When I think of all

the good time

That's been wasted

having good times

Hey there, motherf***er.

Don't you look comfy.

[singer] When I was drinking

I should've been thinking

When I was fighting

I could've done

the right thing

All of that boozing

I was really losing

Good times

Good times

When I think

of all the good time

That's been wasted

having good times

When I think

of all the good time

That's been wasted

having good times

All of my lying

I remember her crying

My useless talking

I could've been walking

Instead of complaining

I could've been gaining

Good times

Yes!

Yeah, we all are

having a jolly good time.

And everything

is working out fine.

Ha, ha, ha.

Useless talking

All of that walking

All of my sinning

I could've been winning

I have it too easy

And it's a beginning

Of good times

Good times

I said good times

Talking about good times

Oh, good times

[dramatic music playing]

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