Small Town Girl Page #3

Yeah. They bottle it

after the salmon leave.

Hey. Hey, there's tom.

Hey, tom!

Step right up.

Come right in here.

Take that table there.

There's enough chairs.

Sit right there.

Hey, pat, what's all this about?

Well, doc, I won.

Yeah, I lost my shirt,

but that doesn't-

No. I bet Felicia if

we won, she'd marry me

And if Yale won, I'd marry her.

So we both lost, and so we got married.

Why, you couple of compound fractures.

When? Where?

Over at Minton Green.

Yeah, you see, there's an old J.P.

With a charming gold tooth

And false whiskers, too.

County law, license

right on the premises.

Pat, you old Turk. Congratulations.

Felicia, darling, now

that you've done it,

I hope he makes a better

husband than he looks.

Oh, say, doctor,

Maybe you better take him aside

For a quiet chat.

Oh, tom, now, don't be a boor.

Old-Fashioned type, huh?

Come on, Bob. Why don't

you and chick join us?

Chair here, please, boy. One more here.

Come on, dear. We're

going to a party. Oh, but-

Oh, come on, come on. No argument.

We're going. We're invited. Come on.

He we are, waiter.

Just bring it right over there.

Folks, folks, I want

you to know goodness,

The nicest girl for miles around.

Don't give them your real name, darling.

These pixies know how to spell.

Hello, hello.

How do you do?

Hello.

Well, now we'll settle down

To a little serious drinking, huh?

Hear! Hear!

Yes, yes, we're here.

May the happy couple give

the medical profession

The inspiration and the opportunity

That it receives in Canada.

Bravo!

They put people under

observation for things like that.

Hey, down that, goodness.

It's good for that old tired feeling,

And that old tired feeling

is good for nothing.

Small town girl

Sweet as the flowers in may

Small town girl

You're longing to fly away

When the cars go by, you smile and...

I think we ought to hear

another cork pop, goodness.

The stillness of the

night still frightens me.

Oh, I don't think I

could drink any more.

Do you got sleigh bells in your ears?

No. It's a nice funny felling, but-

Mm-Hmm. You know what, goodness?

We're hemmed in again.

I got claustrophobia.

There's only one prescription for that.

Come on.

Small town girl

You're happy where you are...

give us our clothes, will you?

We want to leave this gilded palace.

Where are we going?

Oh, who knows? Denver, salt lake,

Addis Ababa, Cincinnati,

Anywhere where we can

get away from ourselves.

Small town girl...

I guess you better take me home.

Nonsense. We've got to go lots of places

And do absolutely nothing.

But my family.

Maybe we better telephone them.

The telephone is a marvelous invention,

But you should never use one

While standing in a bathtub.

We're going to Boston.

Oh, no, we

- What for?

It's too far.

An hour there and an hour back.

You ever been to Boston?

Yes. Not like this.

Well, this is the best way to go.

We'll see the old north

church by moonlight.

One if by moonlight,

two if the hard way.

I'll show you where Paul revere

kissed his horse on the commons

And then rode him into the harbor

Dressed as an Indian.

That sounds crazy... and fun.

That's right, goodness.

There you are. Thank you.

Don't shoot till you see

The red veins in their eyes.

Godfrey, on to Boston!

Now what? W-W-Which way?

I don't know. I thought

you knew where we were-

Oh, we're hemmed in again, goodness.

That's another way of

saying that we're lost.

Look over there.

"Milton"

- No, no.

"Minton green. "

That's where pat and

Felicia got married.

Another way of saying

Where they were lost.

Say, we'll go to Minton Green

And wake up that old J.P.

With the gold tooth and the whiskers.

Tell us where we are.

I don't think he'll like it.

I don't know why he shouldn't.

He's probably a very lonely fellow,

Wants conversation.

Oh, look, and it's

almost morning already.

Dawn begins to thumb

its rosy nose at us.

Oh, I've got to get back home.

I've nev-My family

will be scared to death.

Oh, you'll scare them worse

If you come back this way.

You've been out all night, goodness.

Oh, please, let's get back.

Well, no. No, no,

you'll scare them silly.

Why, it's a question of your

maidenly honor, goodness.

You've been out all night with a man.

Their eyebrows will jump

right up into their scalps.

You can't do that.

Oh, I'll tell them

- Oh, I don't care. Please.

No. It's a question of my honor, too-

The Dakin honor.

Never been smirched

since they dunked grandpa

In the Salem witch pond.

You got to do something

about that, goodness.

Oh, please, let's go back.

It will be an hour before-

Yes, sir. Got to clean

and press the Dakin honor.

Say, do you know how we'll do that?

Two birds with one body blow.

We'll wake up old whiskers

And have him marry us.

M-M-Marry us?

Sure. "Do you take?" "I do. "

"Ditto. " "She do. "

It's all over, and the anesthetic

Comes 20 years later.

You don't know what you're saying.

Oh, I always know what I'm saying.

Me and the old mother tongue,

We're just like that.

That's me right there.

Know every little syllable,

Even before I was born.

Lock the chariot. "Lock" for wedlock.

We're gonna take down our curly locks

And wade right into wedlock.

Oh, you must be crazy.

You can't do a thing like this.

I've wanted to get married all my life,

And so have you.

Everybody wants to get married.

Normal, happy people,

All married and having fun.

Stop. We're it.

Oh, wait a minute.

Please don't.

Shh! Got to approach

this thing carefully.

Don't want to frighten old whiskers.

He's liable to have a stroke.

Shh!

Shh!

Who's there?

Customers, your honor.

Well, you came to the

right place, young man.

You wait there,

And I'll be right down in a jiffy.

... when all together we cheer her name

When we cheer her with heart and soul

I said apples, not onions, Kay.

Yes, Mrs. Bradshaw.

Hi, Kay. Keeping your chin up?

You know, I think she's getting

To look like me more and more every day.

Come right in, folks.

My daughter will be down soon

as she slips something on.

Come on in, goodness.

Come on, goodness.

We'll build a stairway to paradise.

Oh, you almost-

We nearly-

40 not 50.

You said if the touchdown...

fourth quarter.

Oh, wait a minute.

Please don't.

Oh, wake up!

You got mud on your chin.

So have you, on your cheek.

Can you see what I see? Is that water?

Yes.

Well, did it run into

us, or did we run into it?

We ran into it.

Who's we?

I know who I am.

That's fine. Who am I?

Don't you know?

Well, I have a faint suspicion

That I'm Dr. Dakin's little boy Bobby.

That's the name you gave.

Huh?

That's the name you gave.

Oh, that's nice of me.

I usually give another one.

Well, wake me up in a couple of

hours, I'll start to function.

Oh, wake up. It's after 7:00.

7:
00?

Say, I'm due at the

clinic sometime today.

Who did you say you were?

Don't you remember?

No, my dear lady.

I'm the greatest little

forgetter in your memory book.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes