Small Town Girl Page #5

surgeons are made of, son.

But there must be some way out of it.

All your life, I've tried

to help you out of things,

Out of yourself.

I've done everything for you,

given you every advantage.

I've helped you out

of scrape after scrape,

But this is one thing you'll

have to handle yourself.

I tell you, I won't stay married

to that addle headed little-

A man must stand by what he does, Bob,

So whatever you decide to do,

I assure you that I'll

continue to stand by you,

But I don't have to tell

you that right now...

your mother and I find our job

Pretty miserable.

I, uh...

I'm sorry if I was rude, but

this thing's got me crazy.

I don't know what I'm doing.

Well, it hasn't been so

pleasant for me, either.

We've simply got to make the

best of a bad bargain, that's all.

Now, uh,

This is my idea.

We stay married.

What?

Now wait a minute. Wait

a minute. Let me finish.

We pretend to stay married.

It'll just be for appearance's sake.

We'll have a honeymoon and everything,

Pretend to be a happy married couple.

Oh, I can't do it.

I can't.

Now, listen.

If I can do it, you can do it.

Remember, it's harder

for me than it is for you.

I'm in love with a

girl, going to marry her.

Heaven knows what she'll do

when she hears about this.

Oh. Oh, is that so?

Well, you're not the only one. Oh?

I have someone, too. Really?

A lovely boy in carvel named Elmer.

Elmer?

Yeah. Well, it's a little

late now to think about Elmer.

I'm thinking about my father and mother.

Of course, I realize it's up to you.

I can't do anything unless you'll help.

So how about it?

Will you go through with it?

For how long?

Well, we'll say for 6 months.

Well, then what happens after 6 months?

We can separate then

and get a quiet divorce.

All right.

Thanks.

Oh, I'm not doing it for you.

I'm doing it for your family

because they're so nice.

Don't worry. They'll

make it worth your while.

Oh...

oh, by the way, you

better go out with mother

And get yourself some things,

A trousseau or whatever you call it,

But be sure to let mother

choose the clothes, will you?

The reporters are very insistent, sir.

All right. I'll talk with them.

Dr. Dakin, will you give us a statement?

My outfit will make a

deal on an exclusive.

Where did you meet your wife?

Yeah. Pretty sudden, wasn't it?

I'm afraid you boys

haven't been keeping up

With my life as you should have.

I've known my wife

- Miss Brannon,

Katherine Brannon of

carvel, Connecticut-

For several months.

What about miss Hyde?

Yeah. I thought you were engaged to her.

Yeah. When was that broken off?

You're a little late

with your news, boys.

Miss Hyde broke off our

engagement several months ago,

In July, as a matter of fa-

Is that so? We didn't hear about it.

Priscilla.

Isn't this nice of you,

Coming to congratulate the bride.

She's right inside.

No, no, no.

I've got to go, boys.

Bob, you really haven't

told us a thing yet.

Now, now, gentlemen.

Fair thing, gentlemen. Fair thing.

Is this true?

I can explain it, Pris.

Oh. Now, wait a minute.

You're not going out there.

You've got to listen

to me. Come over here.

I never saw this girl before in my life.

She doesn't mean a thing to me.

I didn't make love to her.

I didn't even know I was married

Till I woke up on the bank

of a river this morning.

Well, why did you tell

the reporters all that rot?

Why don't you have it annulled?

Oh, let me explain, will you?

Childers, bring us some drinks.

You'll have to do a lot

of talking to explain this.

Oh, I tell you, I've got to go

through with this thing, Pris.

Well, I don't see why that has

to include a honeymoon on a yacht.

Oh, you know how much of a

honeymoon it's going to be.

It's just to get away, keep

out of sight for a while

Until the scandal blows over,

And we'll look respectable

when we get back,

And after a few months-

What's she like?

What do I care what she's like?

I didn't even take a look. Huh.

You don't expect me to

believe that, do you?

Now, listen. You don't want to

be the cause of a murder, do you?

Because that's what I'm going

to do to that round-Eyed, little-

I thought you said you didn't look.

Well, all right.

Round-Eyed, slant-Eyed,

cross-Eyed, I don't know.

I know she's got me in a spot.

She could hold us up for a couple

of hundred grand if she wants to.

Oh, Bob.

Don't let's talk about it.

I don't want to hear about her.

I don't want to see her. I-

Oh.

Oh, Pris.

Ah, Pris,

Don't let's ever fight again.

Mm-Mm.

Oh...

6 months.

Yeah.

It's gonna be the longest

6 months of my life.

Well, I'm going abroad and enjoy myself.

Now, now, Pris. Wait a minute.

Why shouldn't I?

I'm just afraid you'll fall

in love with someone else.

Promise me you won't, huh?

Well...

I guess I couldn't if I wanted to.

Oh, you darling.

Looks mighty funny to me.

Oh, why, she'll be a rich girl.

That beats me.

Our Kay.

She's phoning me again this afternoon.

She's known him for a long time, Wilbur.

I said, she's known him for a long time.

That's Kay. She does

the darnedest things.

They say they're big shots.

Imagine her keeping him

a secret all this time.

Well, they ought to be

here any minute now, skips.

Not him.

He's never been anywhere

on time in his life.

What you got there, so-So?

Oh, I see.

Put it in the galley.

Mr. Doctor-He say he

want it at his cabin.

All right. Put it in his cabin.

Yes, sir.

Looks like another one of those trips.

I don't know why we

bother to leave the wharf.

He'd never know the difference.

Oh, well, this time, it might be

different, him on his honeymoon.

It'll be worse.

She'll be up there

around the wheelhouse,

Falling in the scuppers,

And asking enough silly

questions to drive us crazy.

Here they come. Here they come.

Uh-Oh.

Not looking forward to this.

Oh, my goodness, look at it!

Congratulation, Mr. Doctor.

Thanks. This is so-So, darling.

Mrs. Dakin, so-So.

Congratulation, Mrs. Doctor.

Here, so-So. Take these.

I wish you a very pleasant trip, sir.

Thank you, tom.

Now, remember, we're a

happily married couple.

Hello, Mack.

Donaldson.

Hello, doctor. Congratulations, doctor.

Thank you. Yes. Congratulations.

This is captain Mack, darling.

How do you do? How do you do?

And Mr. Donaldson.

How do you do? How do you do?

This is Mrs. Dakin.

Well, we'll shove off as

soon as you're ready, Mack.

Uh, no one coming to see you off?

No. This is a sneak.

Isn't this sweet?

I've never seen anything

so clean and shiny.

Are you the one that

shined all the brasses?

I must say, you're a

wonderful housekeeper.

Darling-

And, captain, I have

always wanted to know-

Uh, yeah. The doctor, uh-

Oh. Oh.

Were you speaking to me, dear?

Heh heh. Yes, darling.

Shall we go inside?

Why, yes, of course.

I've never been on a

boat before, you know,

And so I'll be asking lots of questions.

Shove off before she wants to

know where the barnacles are.

See? I fix your room nice.

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