Smashed Page #3

16.

The students GIGGLE.

KATE:

(quickly moving on)

Wonderful, Angela. You get a Camaro

with flames painted on the hood.

The students CHEER.

KATE (CONT’D)

Now --

(to the class)

-- what’s another word I could make

by adding a letter to “an”?

Nobody raises their hand.

KATE (CONT’D)

C’mon...

Finally, a student in the back -- RAMON -- raises his hand.

KATE (CONT’D)

Yes -- Ramon?

RAMON:

P.

KATE:

P...okay, what word would that make

if I added a “P”?

RAMON:

Um...pan?

KATE:

Pan! That’s right. Ramon

Martinez...COME ON DOWN!

Ramon walks up and begins to write “PAN.”

KATE (CONT’D)

Wow! Just look at that excellent

penman -

Kate stops suddenly and raises her hand to her mouth. She

quickly runs behind her desk, leans over, and discretely -

-- VOMITS on the floor!

Ramon -- who’s just inches from the pool of vomit -- looks

horrified.

Kate glances up from behind her desk to see -

17.

-- the kids all make grossed-out faces and say things like -KIDS

EW! GRODY! GROSS! YUCK! IT SMELLS

LIKE CHEESE! SLOPPY JOE! GRANDPA!

SHRIMP! BACON!

Embarrassed, Kate quickly gets TISSUES from her desk andbegins cleaning up the mess.

KATE:

(to the class)

I’m so sorry you had to see that.

HILLARY stands up. *

HILLARY:

Mrs. Hannah -- are you pregnant?

*

What?

KATE:

HILLARY:

My mommy threw up when she waspregnant with my little sister. Areyou pregnant?

*

Some of the kids begin WHISPERING (saying things like “Ooh!”

“She’s gonna have a baby.”).

Are you?

RAMON:

Kate seems flustered and says -Yes.

KATE:

15 INT. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL - PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE - DAY 15

Kate sits across a desk from ---

PRINCIPAL BARNES: female, early 50’s, stern, scattered,

and clearly a softy at heart, she wears a pair of GLASSESaround her neck.

*

*

*

PRINCIPAL BARNES

Vice Principal Davies will belooking after your students for therest of the day -- so you don’t

need to worry about that.

18.

KATE:

Oh, that’s really good to know.

I’ll have to thank him.

(beat)

I just feel awful for getting sick

in front of my students.

PRINCIPAL BARNES

Oh, please -- they’re troopers. I’m

sure they’ve seen plenty worse.

(beat)

So -- how long have you been

pregnant?

KATE:

Um...it’s the first trimester.

PRINCIPAL BARNES

Well, it’s very exciting. You must

be thrilled.

KATE:

(nods)

Uh-huh.

PRINCIPAL BARNES

Can I ask a...personal question?

KATE:

Okay.

PRINCIPAL BARNES

How’s it...

(beat)

...going for you?

KATE:

Huh?

PRINCIPAL BARNES

The pregnancy, I mean.

Kate’s not sure how to respond.

PRINCIPAL BARNES (CONT’D)

Having kids wasn’t in the cards for

me. I came close, but...

Principal Barnes drifts off into thought for a moment, then

catches herself and quickly shifts gears.

19.

PRINCIPAL BARNES (CONT’D)

...I mean, it’s like I’ve got a

couple hundred kids here --

(forces a laugh)

-- but...I don’t fool myself. It’s

not the same.

KATE:

(considers her reply)

Well...it’s hard to explain.

PRINCIPAL BARNES

Of course...

KATE:

I wouldn’t call it a burden, but -

PRINCIPAL BARNES

It’s a responsibility.

Beat.

KATE:

Yeah. Exactly.

PRINCIPAL BARNES

(nods)

You’re so lucky.

(beat)

Can I...touch it?

KATE:

Um, I don’t...okay -- but it sleeps

a lot.

PRINCIPAL BARNES

Of course.

KATE:

Like...a lot.

Principal Barnes gets up and kneels next to Kate. She places

her hand on Kate’s belly and closes her eyes.

PRINCIPAL BARNES

(whispers)

Hello in there. Can you hear me?

You’re a tiny miracle. Did you know

that? A miracle.

Principal Barnes looks up at Kate and smiles -- with tears in

her eyes.

20.

16 INT. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL - HALLWAY - DAY 16

Kate walks down the hall and comes to the door of her

classroom. Through the glass she sees -

-- Mr. Davies. He notices Kate and smiles (the concerned

smile you give someone right after they’ve publicly

embarrassed themselves).

Kate mouths the words -

KATE:

(silent)

Thank you.

-- and gestures “come here.”

Mr. Davies gestures to the class that he’ll be right back --

before he walks out to talk to Kate. He’s got a slightly

nervous demeanor -- somewhere between “I never became

comfortable talking to women” and Asperger’s.

MR. DAVIES

Is everything, um...okay, Mrs.

Hannah?

KATE:

Yeah, well...I’m really embarrassed

-- but I feel a lot better. And I

just wanted to say thank you.

Mr. Davies glances down the hall.

MR. DAVIES

Look -- I’m not a fool.

(whispered)

I know you were drinking this

morning.

Kate looks shocked.

MR. DAVIES (CONT’D)

I saw you.

KATE:

(taken aback)

Oh, no, I...

MR. DAVIES

Drinking when you’re pregnant is

really dangerous.

21.

KATE:

I know that! Oh, God, I...

(long beat)

...listen -- I’m not actually

pregnant.

What?

MR. DAVIES

KATE:

I’m just really hung over. The kidsstarted asking me questions after Ivomited and I panicked.

MR. DAVIES

Oh. That’s...not good.

KATE:

I know. I...please don’t say

anything.

Mr. Davies looks torn, unsure how to respond.

MR. DAVIES

Just...go home. Get some sleep.

Before Kate can say a word, Mr. Davies heads back into theclassroom.

17 INT. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL - BATHROOM - DAY 17

Kate has her face fully in the sink while water runs over itand ---

TWO LITTLE GIRLS curiously watch.

18 INT. NEIGHBORHOOD BAR - DAY 18 *

Kate and Charlie play POOL while splitting a PITCHER OF BEER.

It’s a bit early to be drinking, but hey -- why not?

KATE:

I had such a crappy morning.

CHARLIE:

Me too. I spent like three hours atthe post office trying to buystamps and stuff.

Kate takes a long sip of beer.

22.

KATE:

I told my class I was pregnant.

Charlie looks up at Kate with a beaming smile. He leans over

and grabs her hand.

CHARLIE:

(excited and sort of

confused)

Oh, baby, that’s -

KATE:

I’m not. Pregnant. So don’t worry.

CHARLIE:

(deflated)

Oh.

(beat)

‘Cause it would be great news -- if

it was true.

(beat)

‘Course then I’d have to drink your

beer...

KATE:

Well, it was a lie. I just lied to

my class. After barfing in front of

them.

CHARLIE:

(cringes)

Ooh...

KATE:

Yeah, that’s what they said.

(long beat)

Listen...I can’t do this anymore.

A look of complete terror and confusion passes over Charlie’s

face.

CHARLIE:

What do you mean?

KATE:

I dunno. I think I might...drink

too much.

Charlie LAUGHS.

CHARLIE:

Oh. That. Yeah...you kinda do.

Charlie swigs his beer.

23.

KATE:

I know I do -- I'm a f***ing

mess...

CHARLIE:

Baby -- that’s not true. You’re

beautiful. And brilliant. And I

love you. I wouldn’t be married to

a “mess.”

KATE:

I left work after puking in front

of little kids. And...now I’m

drinking in the middle of the day.

*

*

*

CHARLIE:

Well, those things happensometimes.

(beat)

I mean, they shouldn’t happen all

the time, but...it’s the price of,

uh, truly living life.

KATE:

Isn’t that like a slogan for some

kind of beer or toothpaste orsomething...?

CHARLIE:

No. And it’s true -- you and me,

we’re not just some boring couple

in the suburbs who don’t sleep witheach other and have nothing to talkabout except whatever TV showthey’re currently into.

(beat)

We, like...still know how to party.

KATE:

Yeah...

(beat)

...I think I need to slow down.

(beat)

And I might need help.

CHARLIE:

I’ll help you.

KATE:

I know, but...I might need more

help.

CHARLIE:

Yeah? Like a therapist?

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