Smokey and the Bandit Page #16

CLEDUS:

(into mike)

My vocal cords are fine, but Fred's

ain't. He's been barking, eating the

seats and driving me crackers.

(Fred barks)

Hear that? Where's his chow?

BANDIT:

(into mike)

On its way. Give me a coupla minutes,

okay?

CLEDUS:

(into mike)

Do I have a choice?

BANDIT:

(into mike)

What's your twenty?

CLEDUS:

(into mike)

'Bout fourteen miles this side of

Mississippi.

CLEDUS' VIEW

up ahead -- an Arkansas Highway Patrol car is parked off to

the side, hidden by a clump of Magnolia Trees.

BACK TO SCENE:

Cledus brings it down to 55 and rolls past TWO OFFICERS

standing next to their car, holding a radar gun.

CLEDUS:

(into mike)

I just passed two Kojacks with a

Kodak.

(then)

Man, this highway's crawling with

Bears. Ain't no way we gonna make

Atlanta on time without you runnin'

blocker.

Bandit looks back over his shoulder. Then:

BANDIT:

(into mike)

I'm still trying to ditch this Texas

Smokey. I don't know what the sucker

wants.

CLEDUS:

(into mike)

What they all want -- to handcuff a

hero.

BANDIT:

(into mike)

As far as John Law knows, I'm just a

joy ridin' Georgia redneck. We keep

'em outta your backyard, we're cool.

(looking back again)

Now just give me five to ditch this

idiot and I'll meet you in Ole Miss.

CLEDUS:

(into mike)

If you don't, we can kiss that

Kenworth good-bye.

Bandit replaces the mike, glances up to the rear view.

HIS VIEW - THROUGH REAR VIEW MIRROR

Sheriff Clayton -- gaining ground.

BACK TO SCENE:

They're speeding around curves now, Kate doing her best to

control the Cobra. She takes a corner too fast and too wide.

Bandit I drifts into the oncoming lane and suddenly they're

staring at:

A CAMPER:

coming straight at them. A Mother, Father and Two Children

all riding in the front seat.

FULL SHOT:

Kate swerves back into her lane, avoiding a head-on by less

than a split second.

BANDIT:

I think we should switch seats.

He puts his hands on the steering wheel and his foot on the

accelerator, but he and Kate get tangled up trying to make

the switch.

The car goes out of control -- smashes into a guard railing

and bounces back onto the highway.

They try to switch again. Impossible.

BANDIT:

(fastening seat belt)

You go ahead. This seat's more

comfortable.

THE HIGHWAY - DAY - HIGH SHOT

Bandit I streaking, followed in the distance by the Texas

Highway Patrol car.

Coming down the highway, from the opposite direction -- is a

long, long, long FUNERAL PROCESSION.

Suddenly, Bandit I swerves to the right and starts across

the highway.

BANDIT (V.O.)

Mississippi's the other way!

KATE (V.O.)

You want to lose this putz or not?!?

With that, Bandit I zips between two limos heading the Funeral

Procession, crosses the highway, sails over the embankment

and swerves onto a bumpy dirt path.

CAMERA WHIPS BACK

to Sheriff Clayton's car -- roaring straight at us.

INSIDE CLAYTON'S CAR

Sheriff Clayton spots Bandit I across the highway, flying

down the bumpy dirt path. He hits his brakes and the car

screeches to a halt.

ANGLE - CLAYTON

forced to sit and wait, as the Funeral Procession passes

slowly by. He's livid. Lays on the horn.

THE HIGHWAY - DAY

as the vehicles in the passing lane are all forced to come

to a halt to avoid crashing into Clayton -- who sits in the

middle of the highway waiting for the endless Funeral

Procession to pass. Horns honk. People yell. Clayton waits.

THE BUMPY DIRT PATH

Bandit I bounces along, past rows and rows of tall Magnolia

trees.

INSIDE BANDIT:

Kate and Bandit bouncing from seat to ceiling.

KATE:

(motor-mouthing)

-- You know, I used to be a high

fashion model. Tried it for six months

and almost freaked. Makeup, silly

clothes, a little man saying 'darling'

every two seconds...

BANDIT:

Yeah, it's tough when your cheek-

bones are your main asset.

KATE:

(nods, then sees

something O.S.)

Uh-oh.

WHAT SHE SEES:

up ahead. The path ends. There's an incline and past that a

long low fence. There's no way around or past it.

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