Smokey and the Bandit Page #7

BANDIT:

All sound reasons for matrimony.

KATE:

Look, I'm a twenty-eight year old

hoofer who spends most of her time

with fags. Besides, I'm impulsive.

It runs in the family. We're all

crazy. Mind if I smoke?

(lights a cigarette)

Anyway, today was the 'bid day.' But

as I was walking down the aisle, I

realized this is total insanity.

What am I going to do in Texas the

rest of my life? I can't marry Jerry

Jeff. I mean, we're eventually gonna

have to talk. So, halfway down the

aisle, I turned and split. You think

I'm nuts, right?

BANDIT:

Absolutely not. In fact, I picked up

a bride yesterday; except she was a

singer.

Suddenly, Cledus interrupts over the CB.

CLEDUS:

Bandit I, do you copy?

BANDIT:

(picking up mike)

This is Bandit I, come back.

INTERCUT - BANDIT I AND II

Cledus on the CB.

CLEDUS:

(into mike)

Who's the broad? Over.

Bandit turns to the Girl.

KATE:

Kate McConnell.

BANDIT:

(into mike)

Kate McConnell. Sweet, shy... well-

dressed. I'm giving her a lift to

the next waterhole.

CLEDUS:

(into mike)

Listen, pardner; this ain't no time

to be getting laid.

KATE:

(into mike)

Believe me, that won't be a problem.

CUT TO:

BANDIT II:

Cledus replaces the CB mike and slips Red Simpson's

"Motivatin' Man" into the tape deck.

CLEDUS:

Never fails. Bandit gets a chick. I

get...

He looks over at Fred, who's now passed out in the passenger

seat.

CUT TO:

SHINY STRIP OF CHROME

as a pair of plyers rip it off the side of a car and we EASE

BACK to see:

KATE'S ABANDONED CAMARO

still parked along the Arkansas Highway -- now almost

completely stripped by the THREE KIDS in the Van. The car is

up on jacks, as one of the Kids, rolls the last of the four

tires to the rear of the Van. Another kid dumps the chrome

stripping into the cab, while the third, unscrews the radio.

NEW ANGLE:

As a TEXAS SHERIFF'S CAR skids to a stop behind them. SHERIFF

BUELL CLAYTON climbs out. Fifty. Ruggedly handsome. An

imposing figure.

CLAYTON:

Hey!

The Kids freeze, as the Sheriff strides up to them.

FIRST KID:

(pleading)

I swear to God, officer; the car

was. already like this, we were just

trying to...

But Sheriff Clayton doesn't even notice they've stripped

down the entire car. He's got other problems.

CLAYTON:

Did you see the gal who was driving?

She was wearing a wedding dress.

They all nod, still shaking in their jeans.

SECOND KID:

(eagerly)

Yes, sir. She got into a cherry-

looking Cobra.

CLAYTON:

You get a look at the driver?

FIRST KID:

No, but he had Georgia plates. BAN-

ONE.

Clayton turns on his heels and leaps back into the Sheriff's

car, muttering to himself. He jams it into gear and peels

out in a cloud of dust.

The kids exchange bewildered looks, then immediately go back

to stripping the Camaro.

CUT TO:

INSIDE BANDIT I - BANDIT AND KATE

Bandit watching the road. Kate watching Bandit.

KATE:

Why're you driving so fast?

BANDIT:

I gotta get back to Atlanta in

thirteen hours.

KATE:

Why? You have a bowling date?

BANDIT:

Cute. No, 'cause no one's ever made

it from Atlanta to Texarkana and

back in twenty-eight hours.

KATE:

Who'd want to?

BANDIT:

I never looked at it that way.

(then)

You ask a lot of questions.

KATE:

Why are you doing this obviously

macho feat?

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote