Snow Day Page #3

hear about Claire falling in love with me.

l know what Chuck is gonna say.

"Prepare to die, waste case."

Chuck? He had his chance.

Today, she's all mine.

l love you, Claire!

l wanna stroke your hair.

lt's like "Clairestock".

- Bill, what are you doing here?

- Word gets around, dude.

You're not the only guy

who knew they broke up.

Some of these guys

came all the way from Rochester.

You gotta be kidding me!

Beat it, dips! Got that, Korn?

Disappear before you get free passes

to the Chuck Wheeler House of Pain!

Claire bear, it's me!

Let me up, we gotta talk!

Claire, l'm begging you.

Sorry, Chuck, l can't hear you!

We'll be right back

with a live Channel Six weather...

Cheer up. At least she watches

your dad's station.

Yes, she does.

Just give me one little minute.

All right, but only a minute.

You wanted to wear pants,

you're wearing pants.

Tina, people don't want this "Frosty

the Weatherman" stuff. They don't .

They want real weather from the only

guy who knows what he's doing.

They want someone who can

juggle fire and make cool noises.

You're wrong. People will find out

who predicted the storm first,

and when they do,

watch out, Chad Symmonz.

Claire bear! What happened

yesterday was...yesterday.

Today is today.

A day to go skating.

- What do you say?

- We broke up!

- Yes, but not technically. Let's talk.

- Yes. Technically.

(TV) Let it snow, let it snow.

That's what kids of central New York

are saying as last night's snowfall...

Oh, honey...

l'm here at Slupperton Hill, or

as the kids like to call it, "Suicide Hill".

And what better way to say, ''Yeah,

winter!'' than with a toboggan ride?

Hey, Dad!

l'm gonna ask my friends to give me

just a little push. l said a little one!

What is this? Frank, pan off him.

Pan off him, Frank!

Do something. Do something!

Claire, l know you're watching.

My name is Hal.

You don't know me but l know you.

l know that your favourite gum

is " watermelon Bubblicious".

And that you can't go

a whole day without diving,

and that you have the most amazing

brown eyes l've ever seen.

l also know that yesterday

''America's Dream Team'' broke up.

Personally, l think it was the right move.

So, today, if you're wondering

what to do next, try something new. Me.

lt's a snow day, Claire.

Anything can happen.

Hal, when l was your age, l used to

wear cologne to get a girl to notice me.

l'm sorry, Dad, but it's just that this girl

is just...so, you know, she's just...

l know what you mean. Get your blood

running, huh? Do what you have to do.

Don't worry. We meteorologists

are trained for the unpredictable.

You might wanna look at this.

We taped the Channel 1 0 feed and...

Who was there first

when the blizzard of the century came?

Why, Chad Symmonz, of course.

Whenever there's weather

that affects our area, l'll be there first.

First one, my butt! Liar!

Liar! Who was first?

Who was it?

- Tom, it's okay!

- Who was first? Just one. Liar!

So, how was l?

Remember in sixth grade when you

wore those rainbow suspenders all year

because you

thought they were so cool?

- lt was kinda like that.

- l know what l'm doing, okay?

Then enlighten me.

How does that work into your plans?

What'd you expect?

They always get back together.

# There she goes

# There she goes again

Racing through my brain

# And l just can't contain

# This feeling that remains

# There she goes

There she goes again... #

Why do l have to be the decoy?

l'm the one who got the ketchup.

lf you don't play dead,

you're gonna be dead.

- That's comforting.

- Here he comes.

Next time

you can get your own ketchup!

This better not stain my coat.

# Oh, my darling Clementine...#

l'm going for the keys.

A little dab'll do ya.

(SQUAWK!)

Hello, birdie. Pretty birdie.

Yes, you're a pretty birdie.

You're a pretty birdie. Hello.

Chet! Chet! Chet!

Hey, get out of my plough!

No... Trudy!

You want her? Come get her, dirtbag!

Thank you and goodnight, everybody!

Trudy!

Of course, that was Love Letters

by the sultan of smooth, Mr Al Martino.

While we're still in a romantic mood,

skaters are reminded

that there's no better way

to say ''l love you''

than with a brand new pair of skate

guards. On sale in the main office.

Come on. lf you won't do it for me,

do it for them.

How many years has he been putting

everybody to sleep with that music?

Are you ready to party? l know l am.

So, let's make the scene, Gene,

as - who else ? - Al Martino

invites us to enter a world of fascination.

# lt was fascination, l know

# And it might have ended

right there at the start... #

Hey!

- Chuck, can l ask you a question?

- Ask away.

- Who am l?

- You're my woman.

No. Who am l as a person?

We've been dating three years.

What do you really know about me?

Wow...heavy. Okay, well, eh...

Your favourite animal is a chimpanzee.

You're absolutely crazy about chimps.

Spider monkeys?

Mr Zellweger, please!

lt's an emergency!

- What's the problem?

- Oh, my gosh. ln the ladies' room.

- l tried to stop her. l really did.

- Stop who from doing what?

" Al Martino bites the big one."

That's what she wrote.

ln the bathroom stall. Some weird girl

with a dog collar and a snake tattoo.

What kind of sicko!

Take me to her now!

What are those things that

have bright red butts? Baboons!

- Chuck, what colour are my eyes?

- They're green, of course.

A darkish shade of green,

looks like brown. l'm on top of it.

One last question.

What flavour gum do l chew?

- What kind of a bogus question is that?

- Kid on TV knew.

- What kid on TV?

- Him.

May l have your attention?

Due to circumstances, Mr Zellweger

cannot be with us right now.

So...to continue in the party mood...

..l'd like to make a special

snow day dedication to Claire Bonner.

Hi. You might think l'm crazy, Claire.

That's okay.

(ROCK MUSlC )

You are so dead.

What? l can't hear you.

Hal, let's go.

l think you made your point.

Makes me sick!

Swarms of vermin.

Destructive, ignorant cretins.

Metallica sucks.

Snowploughman,

l mean, Mr Snowploughman,

l was wondering. That story about how

you frequently grind kids into road salt...

lt's just a story, right?

You can get back to me on that.

No rush.

l'm toast.

Sorry to interrupt

your afternoon, ma'am, but...

..l was wondering if you could

tell me where l can find your daughter.

Natalie? Natalie Brandston?

Why, is she in trouble?

Oh...no, no, no, it's a...

Well, just a bunch of the kids

signed up for free plough rides.

- Oh...

- Your little Natalie is next in line.

Great. You must be the guy

the kids call "Snowploughman".

The kids have a lot of different names

for me but you can call me Roger.

Okay, Roger.

Oh, is that Wayne Alworth?

Hi, honey!

- Mrs Brandston!

- Yeah, that's actually Wayne.

He's just finishing his plough ride.

(HORN BLARES )

- The kids really love to toot the horn.

- What's he writing?

Pleh? Pleh...

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