Soft Matter Page #3

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Today is the worst day!

This show is very complicated.

We'd like to know more

about the artist's intent.

Who's that guy?

Are you acting?

You think I'm not ready for you.

I'm not ready for nothing!

Nobodies not ready for nothing!

Scramble!

You all.

Be careful.

So how long have you been

planning this whole thing?

This seems complex.

Don't tell him.

None of this, okay,

it's all just happening.

This is redefining happenings.

This is big.

This is big.

We can't take the hallway.

We need a crawl space.

Let's take the wall way.

I solve it all, always.

What do you think?

Good light or bad light?

Artistically?

You don't know.

Are you evil?

Or just bright?

We're not evil.

And it's not really that

bright in here either.

Do I know you already or are you new?

Half and half, back

away from the hole, guy.

Don't you ever use doors?

Well, there's monsters

in the hallway thank you.

Randolph, Mrs. Teeth,

meet Professor Grist.

Grist?

Oh, yeah.

I'm not a professor, I'm a doctor.

Doctor of what?

[Male] Hello.

[Female] What do you

know about the creature

in the hallway?

What are you, ghost

busters or something?

We are not but ask me

again in about 30 minutes.

I don't think it's

all that severe really.

That lady shoots lightning.

You saw that, right?

She does but she also talks.

Maybe we can just talk to her.

I love that.

You do that, that great plan.

You come with me.

Sure, why not?

I mean let's all just die.

Okay.

Did you see that she shoots lightning?

This is fun.

(menacing music)

This looks hard.

Sh!

Hello.

I, I would like you to know

that we have ceased all science activity

in this facility and you're free to go.

I am free to do as I please.

Thank you so much for your visit.

I have no reason not to destroy you

as a precautionary measure.

No, we're all good now.

I do not care about good or evil.

I am nature!

(exploding)

I've never been to a better art opening.

That's not what happens!

You get up and you run!

I'm pretty sure she won't check in here.

She hates this closet.

Your world is dark and strange.

She killed Ms. Teeth.

I know bud.

We're gonna get her for it.

I don't wanna get her for it.

I want it to be yesterday

or this afternoon even.

This is exactly the kind of thing

we were trying to

circumvent with our science.

What, horrible hallway monsters

killing my friends with hand lightning?

No, obviously not, that's very specific.

Just death.

Aquatic and weird.

Aquatic and weird.

I think we can do this.

I think we can do this!

[Female] I shouldn't

be doing this, you know.

Smoking?

[Female] No.

Before you leave this room,

I'll be dead or immortal.

So this doesn't matter.

What I shouldn't be doing

is offering you this deal.

You have nothing to offer

me but your own death.

[Female] You gave your

warriors immortality.

I want to do the same!

I do not approve.

You are powerful!

The master of magic.

I am the master of science.

I am your equal!

We are equal!

[Female] Hey, face me, chum bucket!

You have nothing, child!

[Female] Yeah, well I

have your name on my fist.

Sh*t head

(screaming)

How can I read them in the dark?

(screaming)

Yeah, well then let

me get it lit for you.

(fireworks exploding)

(screaming)

Kish.

Yeah?

I know how this ends.

How does it end, bud?

This ends like Jaws Three.

How does Jaws Three end?

Roughly the same as Jaws.

Jaws?

I got this.

(screaming)

Jaws!

(rocket whistling)

(exploding)

(screaming)

(coughing)

[Male] You okay?

All my friends are dead.

[Male] I should put that fire out.

I'm gonna leave you here

next to this piano, bud,

'cause I know how much you love 'em.

Then I'm gonna get Haircut and Ms. Teeth

and I'm gonna get you guys out of here.

Everything's gonna be okay.

[Male] Someone emptied

the fire extinguisher.

Strange twist.

I don't think that I

have enough baking soda

for a fire of that size.

What am I supposed to do?

Then maybe it just all burns down.

This place has my

life's work in it, though.

Monsters.

Yeah, okay.

Maybe we should get out of here.

I'd like to get my

friends bodies first though.

[Female] No!

You will not go anywhere!

You will die!

We killed the monster, we're free!

[Female] You did not,

because I am the monster.

Please, can we just get out of here?

Everyone is dead!

[Female] Everyone is not dead

until you are dead!

Everyone.

Don't worry, I got time for this.

(yelling)

(mumbling) feeble!

Power, power!

(upbeat music)

Come on, I'm making you safe.

In here.

[Female] Wait!

Really being a jerk!

(laughing)

(spitting)

(yelling)

I thought I was gonna

murder a god today.

I suppose you think you might!

I already did.

I'm just trying to distract a chump

before the fire takes us.

You're not that tough.

Your notes were pretty hard to read

but I think I got 'em right.

[Doctor] You're dead!

Not yet but I'm ready.

You've given up the cause.

I'd rather be dead than a monster

so I guess yeah.

You're weak.

Please, take this, let it go.

Die with me, die with dignity.

We're never ready!

This is how it ends!

I am so tough!

(yelling)

We leave now, that's what happens.

Not me.

Everything I know is dead or on fire.

Me too.

I was brought to this

building to wait for death.

It's been more exciting

than it could have been.

Okay, well we can transfer

you to another hospice.

Nah, I was in bad

shape when I went to bed.

Since then, my ribs been

broken about three times.

Sorry.

No.

It's just this is my time.

Fighting it just turns you into...

Do you want a blanket?

No, I'm okay here.

Pillow or anything?

Really, I'm okay.

Okay.

Hey.

[Female] Yeah?

Actually, if you don't

mind, a pillow would be nice.

[Female] Of course.

And my tea?

[Female] Yeah, you got it.

(fire crackling)

I'm dead at the hands

of immortal creatures

She's got to my head

To review these lobsters and leeches

Sea god that famously bled

Oh I tried to belong in this world

Shocking and pride and I

loved the way it all unfurled

But as I said

I'm dead

I'm dead though I love how accessible

Art can be for me

and for all the world

And so, so I guess I

predicted the ending

It's nice to set out

(indistinct singing)

I can be so demanding I'm glad

That this wasn't that show

Though I tried to belong in this world

Aquatic and weird

And I loved the way it all unfurled

On my death bed

I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead

(extinguisher spraying)

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