Soldiers Of Fortune

---

Okay, Miss Mike, you're in.

Watch your ass.

Definitely Taliban presence here.

Not a lot, but they're here. Over.

If you see Bin Laden, You can

give him a big New York kiss.

Then chop his nuts off. He

can wear them as earrings.

Roger that.

Some old guy is making eyes at me.

God damn!

I can't see anything out of this.

You should bring that

outfit back to the States,

you can wear it again for Halloween.

Next time, you're wearing the dress.

Craig, I've got a

problem with the old guy.

Take it easy.

He's not taking his eyes

off me, This guy knows.

I think he knows.

- Hang in there, Mike.

Control, we have an unexpected

visitor. Request positive I.D. Over.

Go.

Visitor is a friendly VIP.

Repeat, visitor is a CIA contractor.

Abort mission. Over.

This is not good. Craig, do you read?

I'm in deep sh*t, man.

The old man's ratting me out.

Did you get that?

Captain McKenzie, do you understand me?

You are to abort this mission.

If you're in trouble and

you can't speak, just cough.

What the hell are you

doing here, soldier?

Where's the rest of your unit?

Listen, these ragheads would

love to slit your throat.

Now, I need to know how

many of you there are

and what you're doing here, so

I can try to save your necks.

You just don't get it, do you?

Let me spell it out to you.

I work for CIA.

I cannot allow one lost soldier

to compromise my entire operation.

Okay, your choice.

You know what I think, soldier?

I think you are dressed like a woman,

because secretly you

don't want to be a man.

Captain McKenzie, your orders are

to stand down. You are not to...

Now, when I'm done cutting you,

these boys will finish

making a woman of you.

Boy, am I glad to see you.

Craig!

You all right?

Oh, man!

My wife is gonna be relieved.

But control is gonna

cut your balls off, man.

That guy was CIA.

It seems to me, you party with the

devil, God ain't ever gonna help you.

Come on, let's go.

I'm all in.

Come on, let's see what you've got.

How about you give me a loan

and hold on to my bike as collateral?

When are you going to learn, soldier?

You're out of luck, not cash.

I've never seen anyone

unluckier than you.

So, how did you get out

of the army alive, anyway?

You know what they say, "Lucky in war,

unlucky in life."

So how about the loan?

There you go, soldier. A

nation's grateful thanks.

Until the end of the month.

Deal.

All right, hands on

the table. Nobody move!

Cool it, kid. What's the problem?

The problem?

Two aces of spades?

- It's just a silly mistake.

You stacked the deck, Tony?

I let you win every once in a while.

Didn't you hear what my friend said?

Put your hands on the table.

Trust me, this is not the

way you want to resolve this.

Shut up, all right? You think you can

cheat us like your loser buddy over here?

We're taking the money.

Look, kid, just take the money

and get the hell out of here.

Lucida, give them your purse.

All right, put the money in the bag.

Jeez!

All right, you're next, cowboy.

Your turn. Put the money in the bag.

Put the money in the bag!

All of it.

All of it.

You can put the gun down now.

It's only loaded with blanks.

Really? Let's check!

You really want me to pull this trigger?

Let her go, McKenzie.

Hey! What the hell is going on?

What the hell is going on?

They hired stunt guys.

They want to do business with you.

Just wanted to see if you

still had it in you, soldier.

Captain McKenzie, we

need a man like you.

Well, I don't need you

All I want is my loan.

Thanks for the show.

Crazy.

We ' Il do it your way, Sister.

Trust me, little brother.

Cheers.

So, what do you think they wanted?

There's only one thing I'm good at.

You know, Craig. I'm so broke, man.

I'm willing to do whatever

it takes to make some money.

Anything. Anything.

The banks, f***ing banks, they

already took everything, you know?

There's no work here, man.

There's nothing for a man

the dishonor of the

Army has been released.

We both fought for our country,

Mike, we got nothing for it.

Well, maybe now we need to

start fighting for some money.

Some of the guys from the old

unit are pulling in loads of cash

as mercs in Mexico.

And then...

Hey, baby. What are you doing up?

It's not me who can't sleep, Daddy.

It's Winston.

Come on, darling. Let's

get Winston back to bed.

Look at that, look at

what your nuts made.

I saved those nuts.

- Good night, Daddy. Good night, Craig.

Good night, guys.

- Good night.

You love Joanna and Elize?

Of course.

Then forget about fighting.

We'll find some other

way to make some money.

I've got about two more weeks before

the banks change the locks on my doors.

Soldiers of Fortune.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

If you've received this link,

then your net worth pre-qualifies you

for the Soldiers of

Fortune Adventure Program,

the ultimate in extreme vacationing.

On your adventure mission you'll

experience the adrenalin rush of combat

in an actual war zone,

but without the risk

of losing your life.

After all, you've worked

too hard for your millions

not to enjoy them until a ripe old age.

Whether you're sniping

enemy mercenaries,

clandestinely delivering

a cache of weapons,

or blowing up a compound,

you'll be protected

every step of the way

by our qualified action teams.

Every member on our staff

is a highly decorated

special operations veteran.

You prove your manhood,

they ensure your complete safety.

All the proceeds support the freedom

fighters of a small island nation.

And, unlike other charities,

you'll be able to personally oversee

how your contribution is delivered.

While your peers boast about

that luxury cruise in the Caymans,

you fought for liberty

and freedom in a war zone.

We offer the ultimate

in bragging rights.

And the best part is,

it's all tax deductable.

Would you knock it off?

I'm trying to sleep.

Good morning.

Have you had breakfast yet?

You know, I'm warning you,

you're wasting your time.

Sit down, Craig.

How's business. Slow?

Thriving.

NOW!

Whoa! Nice!

So how's your brother's beak?

Who told you Ernesto is my brother?

Thank you.

How did you find me, the Yellow Pages?

I know almost everything about you.

Captain Craig James McKenzie.

Twenty-three special ops and not

one soldier dead under your command.

You were a legend.

And then you were court-martialed

for insubordination

and unbecoming conduct.

- That's old news.

And dishonorably discharged.

- No, no, no.

There's nothing dishonorable about

saving your best friend's testicles.

Your unit was disbanded in disgrace.

I can just imagine how many

people told you thanks for that.

Just one guy, and his

wife. That's plenty for me.

Look, thank you for the breakfast, but,

I got some things I gotta do.

You lost everything because of this man.

Carter Mason.

All right, look, no more games.

Who the hell do you work for?

We're not playing

games. We need your help.

And you need the money. Your

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes