Soldiers Of Fortune Page #2

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friend, Captain Reed, needs it.

I am through with fighting.

That's good. Because we don't

need you to kill anybody.

We need you to make

sure nobody gets killed.

You want me to protect him?

No, we need you to protect

some people from him.

And this man is Colonel Lupo.

Nice casting.

In Eastern Europe, by the

northern seaboard of the Black Sea,

is Ostriv Zmiinyi, also

known as Snake Island.

Its mountains are rich in

minerals and rare Earth metals.

During the Cold War, there was

an Allied military base there.

Now nobody knows who owns

it, Romania or Ukraine.

So it's no man's land.

Colonel Lupo seized power there four

years ago with a mercenary force.

His head of security is Mason.

Colonel Lupo's regime

is brutal and oppressive.

They kill anyone who dares

to speak up against Lupo.

There is a resistance,

but we don't have the weapons to fight.

Our freedom fighters have been unable

to resist Colonel Lupo's mercenaries.

All, criminals on the

run. The scum of the Earth.

They make life a living hell

for the people of Ostriv Zmiinyi.

So, who's the girl?

That's Magda,

she's Colonel Lupo's daughter,

and the only person he cares for.

She's pure evil.

As long as Lupo finds buyers

for the island's metals

he can finance his mercenaries

and brutalize the people.

All right, so those are the bad guys.

Who are the good guys? You?

I was born on the island.

I want to set it free.

The resistance is dying,

but now there is hope.

Ernesto and I

have found five very rich

men who are willing to help.

You know something, lady?

I've never met a rich guy

who's willing to give

away something for nothing.

What do your backers

want for their money?

Kicks and thrills.

With our Soldiers of

Fortune Adventure Program,

we've set up a basic training

camp for our clients in Romania.

With their charitable contributions,

we've purchased the firepower

to finally resist Colonel Lupo.

Ernesto leased a ship

to transport the weapons.

We know that Lupo's mercenaries

do not patrol the uninhabited

east side of the island.

Our financiers'

adventure mission will be

to escort the weapons to shore

and get them to the resistance base camp

protected by bodyguards at all times.

Wait a second, let me get this straight.

You and Ernesto are

pimping out your revolution

as some kind of tourist attraction

for a bunch of millionaires,

and you expect me to be your guide?

Yes. We need your credentials

to assure our clients of their safety.

One last op, Craig.

You're lucky in war,

you said so yourself.

With you, everybody comes home.

Our clients will never be

near actual combat, Craig.

And you can save your friend's home.

And everybody will be happy.

Our wealthy warriors have arrived.

Tell me what we're dealing with.

The first of our soldiers of fortune

is Charles Herbert Vanderbeer.

Vanderbeer is a genuine

American aristocrat.

One of his ancestors bought

Manhattan from a drunk Indian

for twenty-four silver dollars

and a bottle of moonshine.

Vanderbeer runs a

Wall Street hedge fund.

He made a fortune from sub prime loans,

and then another from the bank bailout.

It's a shame a lot of ordinary

folks lost their homes,

but that's Wall Street for you.

The rich get richer and

the poor can go to hell.

I'm gonna enjoy watching him under fire.

Our second millionaire is Roman

St. John. A metals magnate.

St. John traded vodka and

bluejeans on the black market

before the Berlin Wall fell.

And then, in the anarchy

that followed somehow

all his business rivals got

murdered but he survived.

Now he owns a huge

mining and smelting empire

and lives the life of

an international playboy.

He was last sighted off the

coast of Somalia, fishing.

St. John does have

practical weapons exposure,

but he claims, without any

verifiable military record

that he has experience leading

troops in naval warfare.

He demanded an entourage

of five. He settled for one.

Our next client is Sam Haussmann.

I've heard of this guy.

- Who hasn't?

A cell phone pioneer and a

permanent resident on Forbes List.

Haussmann's lived enough

for three ordinary men.

He's been married five

times, he has eight kids.

He's made two huge

fortunes and lost one.

He's climbed Everest and fought bulls

and hunted every kind of big game.

Even three species that are now extinct.

And he's beaten two major

heart attacks, as well.

And now for the bad. Our fourth client.

The Grim Reaper.

Grimaud Tourneur. Born in French Africa.

Very little is known about this

international man of mystery,

before becoming the world's

most notorious arms dealer.

Our angel of death sold weapons to

both sides in the civil war in Sudan.

Then he started a revolution in Congo

just to peddle more guns.

Grimaud makes even mercenaries

seem like Sisters of Mercy.

He's a profiteer of war,

but he's never participated in one.

He's selling our new friends

their weapons, as well.

And finally, at the bottom of

the barrel, we have Tommy Sin.

Sin is the creator of Death Porn,

the mega-violent fantasy video game.

Five teenagers decapitated their parents

after playing his smash hit game.

But each time Sin is accused

of incitement to murder

he's acquitted.

Sin probably thinks

war is just a game, too.

Apart from his addiction to video games,

this lunatic just broke his leg.

Welcome to our training camp, gentlemen.

I'm Captain McKenzie,

this is Captain Reed.

These five men are going

to be your bodyguards.

You will obey their every command.

Whose buck is this?

How about they obey our orders?

If any of them is going

to be my bodyguard,

it is they who need

the training, not me.

Yes, sir, Captain, sir.

Three bags full, sir.

The barracks over there are

going to be your accommodations.

Uh, excuse me.

Uh, I trust we all have

our own rooms. I mean...

Over the next few

days you're gonna learn

how to survive in a hot zone.

Just remember,

the only thing worse in action

than a coward is a hero. You got it?

Now, go stow your bags. Dismissed.

Oh, hey, uh, General? Uh, Colonel?

Can, uh, can someone carry my

bag for me, 'cause my leg's done.

I can't I can't carry it.

Got a bum leg!

Jesus!

Jesus Christ. No, I told you

about the f***ing pharmacy.

Oh, it's like that, huh?

Helen and I will take the dining room.

What you playing there, son?

- Baby Killer. On the top level.

I'm in the maternity ward.

Hey, Grimaud, can you feel it?

Feel what?

The thrill of being a kid again.

Playing war games with

pop guns in your backyard.

This isn't a kids' game.

We're playing with real weapons now.

The Grim Reaper.

Hmm, big gun.

It's small.

Son, you know

it's not the size of

your gun that matters,

it's where you stick it.

Let me show you a real hunter's weapon.

Now this, here, is Irene.

Irene's a b*tch.

She would have sniped that Grim

Reaper of yours at a thousand yards

before you even knew she was there.

Oh, that's nice. May I?

- Yeah, sure.

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