Some Days Are Better Than Others

---

I live in Portland

and I think I'd be

the ideal candidate

to be on the

next season of

the Real World.

Hi, my name is

Katrina Collins

I live in Portland

and I think I'd be

the ideal candidate

to be on the

next season of

the Real World

I've been watching

the show

ever since I was a kid.

And its always felt

like I'm watching

an exact replica

of my own life.

Sort of like a

dramatic reenactment

except instead of actors

playing the role of

famous people

is real people

playing the role of me.

I work at a dog shelter,

taking care of dogs

and I have a

boyfriend named Brian

who I've been dating

for five years

and I'm totally

crazy about.

...Fifty-six...

You know, I just don't

understand what they

need this information for.

And besides,

don't you think

they could call around

and just ask the stores

how many different

brands of milk they carry?

Its like the fact that

somebody would decide

"Hey, we need to

hire somebody

to drive all

around town

to count milk jugs

for us," pretty much

explains how screwed up

the world is.

I guess its better

than that stupid

office job they had

me doing last month.

All I did there

was make copies

for twenty hours straight.

And the machine broke

down every ten minutes.

That's why my hands

still smell like

that ink loner.

Hey, thanks again

for letting me

use the car.

- Oh, you're welcome Eli.

- So I don't think

it will take

as long tomorrow.

- I hope not Eli.

- Um, I'll be by

about 9

if you wanna come.

- Well, I'll see how

Heel.

- Alright.

Alright, well thanks

for today.

- My pleasure.

Hey, you want to

come in the house?

I want to show you

a new setup I got

for the soap films

I discovered

that the best

light source

for the soap films

is the sun.

And this room

has the best light

in the house

So...

Come over here

You put that into there.

And then you go

over there.

And you edit it.

- And the camera here...

sends the image

through these cables

over there.

Really cool.

I hope you don't

plan on using

the sink anytime soon.

- Do you want to

turn that light oh'?

- Sure

- Look at that.

- Whoa

All this from reflections

of a bubble...

- That's right

- You have one unheard

message

First message sent

today at 1:
18pm

- A free DVR

- If you don't know

what a DVR is

press 1 on your phone

and a rep will tell

you all about it.

Its awesome technology

that will change the

way you watch TV.

Basically, if you

still have a

cable provider-.

- Breaking hearts...

Breaking Hearts

someone has to

be sent home.

Hi girls

We've had a long journey

but unfortunately

I only have

two roses left.

Clarissa

We've had some

really good times

like our trip on

the yacht.

Or our long walks

on the candle-lit beach

So this one is easy,

you get a rose...

Megan...

you know how special

you are to me

and I want to keep

the specialness

going for as long

as it can.

And each day,

I feel that

we get connected

stronger and stronger

So this last rose...

This last rose is

for you Megan

- I just can't believe this

I thought what

we had was real

I felt it

And I thought

he felt it, too.

I was ready to

spend the rest of

my life with him.

I just don't understand.

- Stay tuned for scenes

from next week's

episode of...

"The Single Guy. "

- Okay, so...

Check this out-

I've figured out

how to eat out

for every meal

of the day

for less than

six bucks total.

Breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Okay, so...

For breakfast,

all you really need

is cofiee, right?

So you just...

...head over to stumptown.

Get the bottomless cup.

By your second cup

of coffee,

you've pretty much

forgotten about eating breakfast.

And they're cool there,

you can pretty much

hang out as long

as you want.

And then for lunch,

go over to the

Happy Monday Thai Buffet.

Get the lunch special #3,

for $3.25.

And the lunch special #3

I'm pretty sure

is actually like...

the leftovers from the

previous day's

lunch special #1.

But, good things come

to those who wait

my friend.

Now, the best place

for dinner is

you go to La Sirenita

and you get

the soft tostada.

Its $1.75,

and its huge.

Totally fills you up,

and you're done.

Less than six bucks.

And on the weekends,

you can hit the

Natural Food store

and get all those

free samples

that they give out.

You can kill like

one meal right there.

- I've, ah.

Got a razor blade

that I've

gotten over 2,000

shaves with it.

I've been thinking

about sending it in to

the Guinness Book of

World Records

- Okay, now, what?

- Well, you know

a shaver.

One of them, one of them...

double-bladed things

- The old-fashioned kind -

I think its a Bick.

- Yeah

I've been using it now

for six years

and I've never had

to sharpen it.

- That's pretty cool, Otis.

- Yeah

- This depression ain't

gonna have any impact

OH US.

- Good god, that's a

lot of f***ing milk.

The freshest milk is

always in the back.

- Excuse me

Can I help you?

He'll) me?

Not unless you can

tell me how many

quarts, gallons, half-gallons

of Dairy-Gold Sunshine

and Happy Cow Milk

you have in your case.

Um...

Can I ask you to wait here for

just a moment?

- Yeah, sure

- Thanks.

- Hello, there.

Excuse me.

Can I, ah, help you

with anything?

- Not unless you can

tell me how many

cartons of milk you have

in your dairy case today.

- And why do you

need to know

how many cartons of

milk are in there?

- That's an excellent question.

I really have

no idea why.

It makes no sense, but

they don't pay me

to ask questions, so...

- Are you with the

health board, because

I didn't get a notice

you were coming.

No sir, my name

is Eli

I'm with manforce.

They sent me last year

to be the Easter Bunny

and now they've sent

me to count the milk.

- That was you?

- I'm gonna have to

ask you to leave

the building immediately.

C)h

it looks like your

pen is leaking.

- That's old, actually.

I don't know when

that happened.

Months ago maybe.

- Come on, let's go.

- Dear Katrina Collins,

Congratulations.

We would like to

invite you

to participate in our

workshops

and audition for

several new

reality television programs.

Please come to the

Beaverton Town Mall

on Wednesday, October 15th

for your chance

to join our team

and audition for

some of the best

and most exciting

reality television shows

being produced today.

Bring a copy of

your most recent

headshots, video audition

tapes, and resumes

as we will be offering

critiques

and analysis

on how you

can improve your

auditioning skills

and become a better

reality TV participant

We look forward

to meeting you.

Sincerely, Joe Prescott.

President,

Talent Services America

Awesome, I better get started.

Okay, I'm gonna need

some supplies.

- Come in.

- Hi, uh, hi.

Mr. Bear?

I'm sorry to bother

you, but

something was donated

that I... I...

I don't think was meant

to be donated.

- Another stash of money?

- No, um.

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