Some Like It Hot Page #5

JERRY:

Greased Lightning! Why do I listen

to you? I ought to have my head

examined!

JOE:

I thought you weren't talking to me.

JERRY:

Look at the bull fiddle -- it's

dressed warmer than I am.

They come up to a building in front of which are gathered

several small groups of shivering musicians, also equipped

with instruments. Joe and Jerry exchange frozen waves with

their colleagues, start through the entrance.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. CORRIDOR OF MUSIC BUILDING - DAY

Joe moves down the corridor, Jerry tagging along grimly beside

him. Other job-seeking musicians mill around, and a melange

of musical sounds and singing voices issues from the various

offices, studios and rehearsal halls.

Joe and Jerry come up to a door marked: KEYNOTE MUSICAL AGENCY --

BANDS, SOLOISTS, SINGERS. Joe opens the door, revealing a

crummy office, with a secretary behind a desk.

JOE:

Anything today?

FIRST SECRETARY:

Nothing.

JOE:

Thank you.

Joe shuts the door, and they shuffle along to the next agency,

which is marked:
JULES STEIN -- MUSIC CORPORATION OF AMERICA.

Joe opens the door. This is like the other office -- except

a little crummier. There is a secretary behind the desk.

JOE:

Anything today?

SECOND SECRETARY

Nothing.

JOE:

Thank you.

He opens the door to the next agency. On the door it says:

SIG POLIAKOFF -- BANDS FOR ALL OCCASIONS. There is the usual

secretary behind the usual desk, and her name is NELLIE. She

is a brunette, somewhat past her prime, but still attractive.

JOE:

Anything today?

NELLIE:

(looking up)

Oh, it's you! You got a lot of nerve --

JOE:

Thank you.

He shuts the door quickly, starts to move on.

NELLIE'S VOICE

(from inside)

Joe -- come back here!

Joe stops in his tracks. With a resigned shrug to Jerry, he

opens the door again, and the two of them start in.

INT. POLIAKOFF'S OUTER OFFICE - DAY

Beside Nellie, there is another secretary pecking away at a

typewriter. Nellie's face is grim as Joe and Jerry come up.

JOE:

Now look, Nellie -- if it's about

last Saturday night -- I can explain

everything.

NELLIE:

(to Jerry; pointing

at Joe)

What a heel! I spend four dollars to

get my hair marcelled, I buy me a

new negligee, I bake him a great big

pizza pie...

(to Joe)

-- and where were you?

JERRY:

Yeah -- where were you?

JOE:

With you.

JERRY:

With me?

JOE:

Don't you remember?

(to Nellie)

He has this bad tooth -- it got

impacted -- the whole jaw swole up --

JERRY:

It did?

(Joe throws him a

look)

Boy, did it ever!

JOE:

So I had to rush him to the hospital

and give him a transfusion...

(to Jerry)

Right?

JERRY:

Right. We have the same blood type...

JOE:

-- Type O.

NELLIE:

Oh?

JOE:

Nellie baby, I'll make it up to you.

NELLIE:

You're making it up pretty good so

far.

JOE:

The minute we get a job, I'm going

to take you out to the swellest

restaurant --

JERRY:

How about it, Nellie? Has Poliakoff

got anything for us? We're desperate.

NELLIE:

(slyly)

Well, it just so happens he is looking

for a bass and a sax --

(to the other secretary)

Right?

(she winks at her)

OTHER SECRETARY:

(going along)

Right.

JERRY:

(all excited)

Did you hear that, Joe?

JOE:

What's the job?

NELLIE:

It's three weeks in Florida --

JERRY:

Florida?

NELLIE:

The Seminole-Ritz, in Miami.

Transportation and all expenses

paid...

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