Someone Like You... Page #2

your apartment's too small.

Why don't you

move in with me?

- You cannot be serious.

- Why not?

Come on. All I'm meeting

are hip, successful types.

- I'd much rather have someone like you.

- Gee, thanks.

No, hey. This would be

a strictly financial arrangement.

I've got no interest in you

that way whatsoever.

- What a relief.

- Come on. Is that a no?

Actually, it's a "Thanks, but not

if my life depended on it. "

- Hello.

- You up for a walk?

- What?

- What?

I was just gonna...

I can't speak.

You say something.

No, no, no, don't.

Do you think I'm insane?

Not at all.

I was just thinking how good

my apartment looks with you in it.

Let's start again.

You were eating Cocoa Puffs.

- Right.

- Then a couple cartoons.

- A Tweety Bird and a Road Runner, I think.

- Then some more kissing.

- Right.

- Okay, go on.

We had to get ready for work, so I

walk into the door, and he gave me a...

- Morning, Jane.

- Morning, Les. How are ya?

- Big finale-type kiss

before leaving? - Exactly.

That's good, good, good.

Very good, considering.

- Considering what?

- Considering he's already picked out his wife.

I told you, Liz,

they're having problems.

- They're not engaged.

- Yet.

Nevertheless, he does sound like an

interesting prospect, so here's what you do.

Pretend she doesn't exist.

Never mention her name.

If he mentions her, you just

nod politely, change the subject.

- Why?

- Because if you bring her up,

he's gonna feel

pushed and resentful.

This way, it's like,

"I'm healthy, I'm happy.

No pressure.

Getting sex other places. "

- It's gonna drive him nuts.

- Lizzy, where do you get this stuff?

Snagmen. Com.

It's very informative.

- Odd.

- Read the papers, Jane.

are lying about their age,

so excuse me, Miss "I have a

crush, so I'm currently in denial. "

You gotta get on your game.

You know what I really need to

know? What do I do right now...

when I see him in my staff

meeting in five minutes?

That's easy.

Pretend he doesn't exist.

Well, good morning, Eddie.

- What is on your neck?

- I bit myself shaving.

Isn't that why God

invented turtlenecks?

- No. That's why God invented Darlene.

- You are so gross.

- Hey, Eddie. Hi, Jane.

- Hey, Ray.

Hey, Ray. Mornin'.

You okay?

You look a little tired.

Morning, Diane.

Straw. Mmm.

- Okay. I'm late, I know. I'm sorry.

- Morning.

I locked myself out of the apartment.

Keys, wallet, total nightmare.

The only reason

I'm standing here right now...

is because of Habib, the nicest

cab driver in the city of New York.

Okay, now, who saw

ABC's 4 a. m. Newscast?

I think a lot of us

missed that, Diane.

There's a big story on how single

media outlets aren't cutting it anymore.

Ray, where are we

on interactive?

- The web site should be up and running on Monday.

- No, not should be.

Will be!

We cannot sell this show...

on the pissant advertising budget

they've given us.

We need to be

streaming 24-7,

and we need to make

every show count.

- Remember, it is all

about the get. - The get.

We cannot make a splash

if we only get...

the gets that everybody's

already gotten.

- I need the ungettable get, got it?

- Got it.

Good.

Okay, where are we

on Fidel?

Uh, well,

I spoke with Juanita,

his, um,

foreign press secretary,

who assured me

that the moment...

el presidente was back

from his fantasy baseball camp...

she would

approach him about it.

And what did she say?

He might be interested?

Did she discuss

his availability?

Tell me, do you think

we have a shot here?

- Jane?

- Sorry.

I said what do you think your

chances are of getting this guy?

I think they're good, Diane.

I think they're very good.

Uh, j-just a minute.

Sorry.

I thought I'd just, um,

do a few sit-ups.

Joy:
The emotion evoked by the

prospect of possessing what one desires.

Rapture:
The experience

of being carried away...

by an overwhelming

emotion or passion.

Ecstasy:
A state of being

beyond reason and self-control.

I cannot feel my legs.

- Tell me again what we're doing here, please.

- We're coming up for air.

- Oh, right.

- Besides, I owe you a shirt.

Hey, that's a good idea.

- Blue?

- Yeah.

This one's pretty.

- You think?

- With your eyes.

Could be risky, given your

impatience with buttons.

Well...

- I love it. We'll take this one.

- My treat.

- No, no, no. No, Jane.

- Shut up.

- Let me buy you a shirt.

- Thank you.

- Hey, guys.

- Eddie, hey!

Wow. We were...

I mean, I just, uh...

- She's helping me pick out a shirt.

- Yeah.

- Well, I didn't mean to intrude.

- Not at all. You're not.

- Not at all. Please!

- No.

Listen,

I gotta go to a thing.

- I gotta hit this... Great running into you.

- Okay.

- Both of you. My God! I can't even...

- See you around.

- All right. -

Okay. - Yeah.

What a coincidence. First I run

into Ray, and then we run into you.

I didn't even know he lived

around here, and then, boom!

All of a sudden, there he is.

Um, so, uh...

Wha... Okay, so I am

sleeping with him.

Eddie, if you tell anyone at

the office, so help me, God...

What are you thinking?

I'm... I'm thinking

the same thing you are, Jane,

that you and Ray are gonna

live happily ever after...

with matching Volvos

and chocolate labs.

See you Monday.

Did you have

any friends growing up?

Better hurry. I think he's

waiting down the street.

I love you, Jane.

I love you too.

He just came right out and said it,

after only six weeks.

Oh, my God. Takes most guys

like a year to use the "L" word.

When they finally do,

they're usually, you know,

on top of you,

so it doesn't really count.

- What about the "D" woman?

- He's telling her tomorrow night.

- Why didn't he tell her already?

- He's in a complicated situation.

Anyhow, if he were

having second thoughts,

I hardly think he would've

asked me to live with him.

He asked you to live with him?

Oh, my God.

He asked you to live with him?

Oh, my God.

- What did you say?

- I must've said yes or something to that effect...

because he started calling realtors,

and I gave my landlord notice.

Ohh! Mazel tov!

Oh, I can't believe this!

You're getting asked

to play house by some guy,

and I'm still on

the blind date circuit from hell.

I take it last night

did not go very well.

Awful. Do me a favor. Next

time Julian offers to set me up...

with one of his straight friends,

shoot me before I say yes.

I'm in a sad state.

And I'm telling you,

it's just screaming potential.

H- Hello?

- I didn't mean to intrude.

- No, we're fine.

Didn't you want to seethe patio?

Come on out.

Isn't it just wonderful?

Wait'll you see the view.

It's just spectacular.

Right this way.

Right down

to the World Trade Center.

It's such a jewel box.

I guess I'll leave you two alone

to talk things over.

- Oh, my God. It's unbelievable.

- I love it! I love it!

It's amazing. The light

is so good! I love you.

I don't know.

Liz, I gotta go.

Oh, my God. He looks like

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