Someone Like You... Page #7

Well, he did.

He left.

And I was devastated. I was

destroyed. Did you see it?

- No. I-I-I didn't. No.

- Right.

Do you know why?

Because if I fall apart,

everything around me

falls apart...

everything that I have worked

my entire life for.

- Do you love him?

- Wh-Who?

- Him. The guy.

- I don't know.

Of course you do. Now, have

you talked to him lately?

No. No. Not ex...

Not exactly talked.

Do it. Do it.

Talk to him.

I used to feel that if I

kept my heart to myself,

If I never let him know how much I needed

him, that he would never leave me.

Well, guess what?

He did.

And I lived in a private,

pathetic puddle...

until I couldn't

stand it anymore,

And so you know what I did?

I showed up at his doorstep...

with two corned beef sandwiches

on rye, lightly toasted,

and I told him that

I was lost without him.

You said that?

Pretty progressive, huh?

And I'm happy. Go figure.

I never thought

I'd be happy.

And you believe her?

This is true love?

This is what we all should be looking for?

That is the most tragic thing

I've ever heard.

We're talking about a woman whose boyfriend

was screwing you in order to get away from her.

And she's the authority

on romance?

The only reason she believes

that crap is because she has to.

She's an old cow.

Truth is all we need to do

is adjust our radar a bit.

You know, learn to be attracted to

men we're simply not attracted to.

Whoa. Hang on.

What are you talking about?

Well, for example, normally...

I might be attracted

to a guy like you.

But thanks to Dr. Charles, I've learned

to control my passion for testosterone,

and now I can proudly say...

that I no longer find you

in the least bit desirable.

Oh, gee.

That's swell.

I need a drink.

Does she have any

idea that she's completely insane?

No. She's right. Diane is an old

cow. He cannot go back to her.

Okay, that's it.

Jane, these are people,

not cows!

Hello.

I should have known

you would take his side.

This isn't about sides, Jane.

It's about dealing with reality.

- And you need to get a grip.

- Oh, that's rich...

coming from an emotional moron who's

whoring his way through Manhattan,

using women

like A.T.M. Machines.

Oh, that's great.

I get dumped, sleep around, and I'm a moron.

You, you get dumped

and become the disciple...

of some crone-slash-quack

behavioral scientist...

who can't tell the difference between

quadrupeds and bipeds, and you're normal.

- She is not a crone. And she is not a quack!

- How do you know?

Who gives a sh*t?

You know, while you were out there buying

these theories about the horrors of men...

And why guys like Ray won't ever come back,

deep down inside

you're hoping he would.

Men are evil. Men are scum. But please,

Ray, won't you make a liar out of me?

Well, you got

what you asked for, Jane.

He did go back. He just

did it with the wrong girl!

It's over! Over.

- Why can't you just let it go?

- Because.

- Because why?

- Because I can't.

- Why?

- Because I was happy.

Because if this...

theory is wrong,

men don't leave all women,

Eddie, they leave me.

I know what

it does to you. I know.

Maybe that's why

we hold on as hard as we do.

We just can't believe that such a

miracle can ever happen to us twice.

And...

But it can.

Someday you'll

find it again.

- I promise you.

- Look at me.

- A mess.

- I'm looking at you.

And you're beautiful.

Hey, you are beautiful.

You're intelligent... and real.

And Ray is not the last man

you're ever gonna love.

I promise you he's not.

Shh. Shh...

Oh, my God.

Oh...

Mmm...

Hmm...

Hi.

Hi.

Uh... listen.

- L...

- No, no, no.

No. No.

No, you're not going

to analyze this one, Jane.

- I'm not?

- No. No.

You're so hell-bent on making sure things fit,

you miss out on all the fun when they don't.

- Eh? Oh...

- Well, I...

No? Right now you're trying

to rationalize last night.

Yeah? Worrying about

what might have happened.

Me, I'm just getting a kick

out of the fact that I, uh,

spent an entire night

with you in my arms,

and I didn't even cop a feel.

Well...

maybe one.

- Whew!

- What?

Well, I'm relieved.

I mean,

for a second there, I...

I thought maybe you

thought last night was, um...

You know, or that you would...

think...

That would've really blown your

Dr. Charles out of the water, huh?

Temporarily maybe, but you would

have shown your spots eventually.

- My spots.

- Oh, come on, Eddie.

Men never fail to do

what's in their nature to do.

And what is that, Jane?

Disappoint you?

Abandon you?

Hmm?

What's really behind

these theories, huh?

What are you hiding?

Nothing.

Sorry. What you see

is what you get.

Is it?

You know, this is not about my

nature, Jane. This is about yours.

- Hello.

- Janey?

Listen, Stephen.

Can I call y'all back?

Your sister's in the hospital.

We lost the baby, kiddo.

Hey, Janey.

Did you see Stephen?

I saw him in the hallway...

- Getting water.

- Getting ice.

Good luck.

God love him.

They break so easily,

don't they?

Last weekend,

he woke up in a panic.

He said that he had to go

shopping for the baby.

You know how anal he is. I thought

he was gonna come back with...

thermometers and baby blankets

and safety gates.

When he walked in the door,

all he had was this little, tiny bag...

and inside was this...

this perfect little

baseball mitt.

He got it in his head that

it was going to be a boy.

Janey.

Okay, I've got ice.

I've got blankets.

I've got magazines.

Look at my wife.

Have you ever seen

anyone more beautiful?

You're nuts.

Diane, it's Jane.

I found Dr. Charles,

Okay, is everybody ready

to have a good time?

Now, come on.

You're going to have to do a lot better than that.

Okay, let me explain how everything

on the show's gonna work.

- It's a really informal show...

- Yo, Ray! Do we have her on the line yet?

Two minutes. The magazine's

putting her through.

- All right!

- Two minutes.

- Diane, two minutes.

- So, Diane's going to come out.

The first guest is going to come.

We have about a 15-minute segment.

Our first interview is gonna be

on the telephone, okay?

- Dr. Marie Charles.

I'm going to ask you one more time.

Are you 100% sure you want to do this?

I'm sure. I'm sorry

to put you in this position.

Don't worry about me.

I just want to make sure you haven't lost your mind.

- Maybe I have. -

Here she is, Ray.

- Dr. Charles.

Welcome. Rarely have I

had the honor to host...

such a distinguished

and extraordinary guest.

Today, Dr. Marie Charles

speaks out for the first time...

since the publication

of her searing article...

Network says we've already

had 20,000 hits on the web site.

- Holy cow.

The reclusive Dr. Charles...

has agreed to an exclusive,

live telephone interview.

And I consider it

a rare gift...

from someone whose work has meant

a tremendous amount in my life,

- as I'm sure yours.

- Dr. Marie Charles

Hello, Dr. Charles.

Are you there?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes