Something Borrowed Page #13

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KAT (CONT’D)

(mouthing words)

Sh*t! Sh*t! Sh*t!

Nick pulls open the curtain and Kat instantly stops her

pantomimed self-flagellation.

NICK:

Is this for last night?

KAT:

Of course not. How...how could it

be? Nothing happened.

NICK:

If I was going to charge you, I

would have told you beforehand. I

thought I explained that.

Naked in front of Nick, Kat is trying not to flinch.

KAT:

I didn’t want you to think I was

expecting anything to be free or

that I was expecting something at

all. Well, clearly I was expecting

something or I wouldn’t have

stopped at all those ATMs on the

way home.

(beat)

By the way, would it have been

enough? I mean, if something had

happened. Which it didn’t?

Kat wants to slip down the drainpipe. Nick looks at her,

considers his words carefully.

NICK:

Don’t they have a limit at those

machines?

KAT:

(quietly)

Not if you take an advance on your

credit card.

Now Nick has to really try to stifle a laugh. Nick puts the

money on the sink. He goes to leave, then turns back.

NICK:

You’re three hundred short.

With that, he walks out. In the shower, Kat gently bangs her

head against the tile. She looks down and notices something.

KAT:

And my Brazilian wax looks like...

Brazil.

(resting against the tile)

Awesome.

INT. KITCHEN - ELLIS HOUSE

Nick and Victor are eating breakfast, the newspaper spread

out between them. Victor’s still working on the crossword

puzzle.

VICTOR:

What’s a four letter word for

daughter defiler?

(beat, writing it in)

Oh. N-I-C-K.

Before Nick can react--

VICTOR (CONT’D)

You a boating man, son?

Victor’s expression is inscrutable. Nick weighs his options

and then--

NICK:

I am now, sir.

VICTOR:

(laughing)

At least somebody’s using the damn

thing.

(beat)

I was gonna fix her up but we took

one trip and the kids fought so

much, we never launched her again.

Just then, Kat walks in with an air of feigned nonchalance.

KAT:

That’s not true. We checked for

leaks a few years back.

(kisses her father)

Good morning.

VICTOR:

Ahoy!

Kat throws him a look. He chuckles. As Nick gets up to get

himself some orange juice, Kat corners him behind the

refrigerator door.

KAT:

(hushed)

So you’re telling me. If something

had happened last night...it would

have cost me fourteen hundred

dollars? That’s a down payment on

a Ford Focus!

NICK:

Not dollars. Pounds.

Nick pours a glass of juice and offers it to Kat. Kat shakes

her head.

NICK:

My rate isn’t arbitrary. It was

determined by prevailing market

conditions. By the way, it

includes oral. That’s the extra

three hundred.... Pounds.

He smiles and sips his juice. She is outraged by his

presumption--

KAT:

And what if I didn’t want you

to...to do that to me?

NICK:

No, no. The three hundred is for

you doing it to me.

KAT:

What?

NICK:

Believe me, if anything had

happened, that would have been one

of the highlights. For you.

KAT:

But nothing did.

NICK:

Yup. That’s why you get to keep

your money.

Nick walks away. Sits down next to Victor. Kat glares

daggers at him. Nick smiles and toasts her with his juice.

Just then, Amy enters in a flurry of cheerfulness, as if last

night never happened. Bunny follows, carrying a clipboard.

AMY:

Hey, Ginger! Hey, Gilligan! How

much do I love all this? I’m going

to get divorced and remarried over

and over again so it’ll last

forever. Kat, be a sweetie, and go

help with the rings. No way

Jeffrey’s going to get it right.

Amy breezes out.

KAT:

(to no one)

I’d be happy to. You’re welcome.

BUNNY:

Oh, don’t be that way.

VICTOR:

(sticking up for Kat)

Come on, Bun. Leave her alone.

BUNNY:

(to Kat)

It’s not always about you, sweetie.

Kat’s stung. Nick watches out of the corner of his eye.

KAT:

How could you say that? Of course

it’s not about me. It’s never

about me when she’s in the room

because you two are on a special

team. You might as well have Tshirts

made up.

Kat lowers her voice.

KAT (CONT’D)

I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m

being so sensitive. I just get

tired of being odd man out.

Bunny looks over at Victor.

BUNNY:

Tell me about it.

Bunny squeezes Kat’s cheek and kisses her.

BUNNY (CONT’D)

Oh honey, it’s not that I love Amy

more. It’s that she lets me love

her.

This flip comment hits Kat hard.

BUNNY (CONT’D)

(obliviously)

I’m off. Ta-ta!

As Bunny walks out, Victor raises an eyebrow, then goes back

to his crossword. Kat stands a moment, feeling awkward.

KAT:

(to Nick)

Okay, then. I’ll catch up with you

at the dance thing.... Sweetie.

Nick gives Kat a casual nod. She exits. Behind the BUSINESS

section, Nick’s face is a mask. Then he smiles. This girl

is nuts.

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