Something New
Holla at your boy!
It's Fuzzy Fantabulous, Power
106, Big Boy's neighborhood.
LA, today is one of my favorite
days. You want to know why?
Happy Valentine's Day
to everybody.
That's right, once more again,
it's Valentine's Day.
Yo, check it out. I already
got some candy up here.
I got a couple of listeners
sent me some flowers.
I'm the luckiest dude
alive in Los Angeles.
Let me say that. Good
morning, it is a beautiful day.
For one, the sun is up,
65 degrees already outside.
The 405 is crowded. But who
cares? Everybody's in love today.
So they gonna get to work
when they want to.
People gonna have flowers.
Everybody is getting candy.
Every lady already has a date. All
the restaurants are booked tonight.
When I get off work, already I've
probably got four dates already lined up.
I got to take my moms out. My girlfriend
already sent me a bouquet of flowers.
And heaven knows what my wife's
got planned for me tonight.
Happy Valentine's Day.
I'll be home early.
Good morning.
Hello.
Kenya.
Kenya!
Leah.
Berte sent these to me today
and I don't know what to do.
This one, I think is gonna make
me look like a fricking cow.
And this one I love...
but I'm gonna have to hold
my stomach in the whole time.
Leah, wear the one you love.
It's your wedding day.
We've got to
get you married.
As my mother would say,
"There is a mensch out there...
"with your name stamped on his
forehead." I'm sure there is.
Who do I know for you? Who?
Leah, don't start.
I've got a big day.
You've always got a big day. Even
on the weekends, you have a big day.
You can't let this job
be your life.
It's not my life.
I have a meeting.
Brian! Tall, hot,
newly single...
architect, really smart.
This is gonna be perfect.
Leah, thanks, but no.
Oh, come on.
I don't do blind dates.
Okay. I'll just add that to the
official list of things Kenya doesn't do.
Which includes, among other
things, sushi, dogs, kayaking...
creepy-crawly things,
and the color red.
Red's definitely not my color.
Jack Pino? Kenya McQueen.
Hello.
Hello.
So, I looked over the letter of intent from
the bankers, and I have a few questions.
Shouldn't we wait?
For?
Well, isn't someone else
coming in?
No. This is it.
I'm the senior manager.
When we get further into the deal I'll
bring someone in to collect documents.
But right now, it's just us.
Personal, one-on-one service.
Okay. Sure.
Four Belvedere Valentinis
for four beautiful ladies.
Thank you.
I wanna make a toast.
Yes.
We may not have everything
we want at the moment...
but we do have each other.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Kenya, this is fabulous.
Okay, let's get down to
business. Where are the brothers?
Yeah, K.
Where's the eye candy?
You got a cute-
Honey...
Okay, Shante.
Oh, my God!
And that is why
The what?
Have never been married.
I read that article. It didn't
say we'd never get married.
It just said we have yet to.
Okay. So when is it gonna
happen? In the afterlife? Please.
Never get married...
that still means
that 57.6 of us will.
And that's a substantially
greater percentage.
Thank you, Miss Numbers
Queen. That's very impressive.
However, those odds
are completely against us.
It says the phenomenon is most
acute among African-American woman...
who are
educated professionals.
Judge, accountant,
banker, pediatrician.
That'd be us.
I'm just tired of being
classified as a victim.
Single black professional woman
destined to be unhappy and alone.
I mean, I just have to keep
believing I'll find the one. True.
I don't even need all that.
I just want a good brother.
That's right.
He doesn't have to make a lot of
money, so long as he's got a job.
Hallelujah.
Yes, yes.
He just has to be taller than me,
college educated, and not crazy.
No kids, good teeth,
and no kinky sex.
I mean, I like to switch it up
a bit, but, you know...
What?
You're doing it again.
The list, Kenya. The list.
You know what? You should have
stayed with Rashid Mohammed.
How can you do
the Muslim chauvinist thing?
Whatever, girl.
Rashid was fine. Okay?
I would have been a bean-pie
eating, mosque-going...
walking five steps behind
his behind, wearing a burka.
Listen, I've been listening to
this new CD by Dr. LaWanda Phillips.
Now, she says that if we keep hanging
onto this preconceived notion...
of what we think we want...
we're actually cutting ourselves
off from our universal abundance.
See, we hold on so tight...
to this image that we have
of our IBM...
"Ideal Black Man."
But she says that
we've got to let go...
in order to let love flow.
In fact that's what it is
called. "Let go, let flow."
That means you, Kenya.
No more lists.
"Let go, let flow."
That's right.
Yes, and it's a whole lot
better than, "Keep hope alive."
Okay, y'all.
Let go, let flow. This
universe is listening.
Perfect, my loves.
Yes.
So, as long as he is
black and fine.
And educated,
well-spoken, with a job.
With
a well-paying job.
You have one new message...
Kenya, it's Rashid.
Happy Valentine's day.
You've been on my mind a lot.
I wanted you to know
that I'm getting married.
Yeah, she is wonderful.
I met her
at a Farrakhan rally.
Kenya, I just really want
you to come to the wedding...
Hello.
Happy
Valentine's day, sweet pea.
You never forget, do you?
Forget my baby girl?
Impossible.
Thanks, Dad.
You sound down. Talk to me.
No, I'm fine.
Everything's great.
Sweet pea.
Don't give up, baby girl.
You know how to make
your dreams come true.
Miss McQueen?
Dr. Brockton,
I didn't see you.
Looking all cute.
Thanks.
Brothers,
this is Kenya McQueen.
So, how's Laurie?
She's fine.
Why don't you sit down
and join us? I can't.
Meeting someone?
Oh, no.
Because a friend of mine went on one of
those Internet blind date things recently.
Watch out. There's some
real stalkers out there.
Right.
Good to see you.
See you.
Nice to meet you, Kenya.
Good to see you.
You wouldn't be waiting
for someone by any chance.
Someone named Brian?
Why?
I'm him. I'm Brian, actually.
Are you Kenya?
Brian... Brian Kelly?
Yeah.
Blind date Brian Kelly?
I'm sorry.
It's that bad, huh?
Obviously, you were expecting
someone else.
No.
Leah described you perfectly.
She's funny.
Well, she said nothing but
great things about you, so...
Should we sit?
Sure.
Let's see if we can find a table. Great.
How you doing, brother?
Magic treating you okay?
Never met him.
They're all taken, so...
Here's one. Just here.
Girl, you are
wearing those dreads.
All right...
Uncomfortable?
No. Why would you say that?
Well, you're talking to strangers,
making sure everyone knows you're down.
So, you ever been
on a blind date before?
My first.
Why'd you do it?
I don't know. I...
promised my girlfriends
I'd be more open.
But not this open.
What?
Nothing.
You know what? It was
really great meeting you...
but I kind of,
need to get going.
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"Something New" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 19 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/something_new_18468>.
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