Something Real and Good

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[announcer]:
Renee Johns, please

come to your party at gate 33.

Renee Johns, please

come to your party at gate 33.

Passengers on flight 435,

service to Chicago,

the flight has been delayed

due to severe weather

and is now scheduled

to depart at 11:
35pm.

Once again, flight 435 service to Chicago

will now depart at 11:35pm.

What?

What?

No, really.

What?

I should be the one

saying what.

You were watching me.

Was I?

Yeah.

Hmm.

While I was reading my book, I thought if I gave you a sort of a glance and looked amused

you might be impressed.

Impressed?

With a glance?

Well, I tried to make it charming

or coy or maybe both.

I'm not really sure

at this point.

What more do you want?

Do you know any tricks?

What kind of tricks

are you looking for?

I don't know.

Like carney tricks or...

slight of hand, something like that.

Maybe juggling.

Would it really matter

if I knew carney tricks?

Glad we had this talk.

Hmm-mm.

Diary?

No.

Journal?

No.

Then what is it?

You know, stuff.

Stuff?

Well, now I know.

What?

It's got all your secrets.

Why do you rub the lining

of your jacket?

I noticed you

over in the ticketing line

rubbing the lining of your jacket.

Guess I could ask you why

you feel the need to talk to strangers?

It's a human need I suppose.

So that's what you do

when you're pretending to read?

Come up with things to say

that might sound profound and...

wait for someone to say them to?

No.

Sometimes,

when I'm not reading,

but pretending to be.

All right, listen.

I have a little black notebook

that I write them down in and...

I find strangers to test them out on.

How's that working out

for you?

Usually better.

But see, there was this girl

down there earlier,

she just would not get onboard.

It's a tough nut to crack.

Not that I'm into nuts or anything

as I'm extremely allergic to peanuts.

You're crazy.

Crazy good or crazy bad?

Crazy ba... good.

But good?

Yes.

The jury's still out.

I'll let you know when they

come back with a verdict.

All right.

I can work with that.

You know what else

I can work with?

Coffee.

Coffee?

Yeah, let's get some.

Now?

Yes.

With you?

Yes.

No.

All right, listen.

I am desperate for

human contact.

I've spent the last two years

mining for precious metals

in the Western hills of Sierra Leone

with my mute companion named Becky.

It is a pleasure to meet you

This is where you reciprocate.

I usually tell people I'm a drummer

in an all girl punk band.

But I'm not.

I love travel-sized

accouterments and...

I'm a wizard at parallel parking.

Oh, and I'm not jaded.

I'm depressed.

Super.

Strangers no more.

Let's go get some coffee.

It's just the mixture

of me and coffee.

It's...

I get really, uh...

I have this sense of immediacy that all of the

spaces in my mind have got to be filled,

but all the world is there for me

to consume and envelop.

It's mine to crack open and

spill into my hands,

but if I don't do it now

nothing will ever be mine.

What I want, what I need,

all I see, now, now, now.

I see I've momentarily

forgotten how to function.

So,

maybe I should go.

What were you saying earlier?

I don't know.

Oh.

Something about the

immediate need for Self-fulfillment.

How's it working out for you?

Kind of feels like it's not.

Welcome to your 20's.

How old are you?

So what you're saying is when I turn 27,

I can get smug and all knowing?

I don't claim to know

everything.

You act like you do.

It's a common misconception.

How old are you?

You're just a little niblet.

A niblet?

Yeah.

Young.

Like corn?

Corn?

Why are you talking about vegetables?

You called me a niblet.

Oh, right.

Corn niblets.

Tell me something.

Something?

Yeah.

Something real.

Something real.

I had this blanket when I was a kid

that had satin all around the edges,

and I used to rub the satin

in between my fingers, you know,

just between my fingers all the time.

That's why I rub the lining

of my jacket.

It reminds me of the satin.

That wasn't so hard.

I guess.

I just don't like the whole revealing myself

process all that much.

Afraid people won't like

what they see?

No.

Afraid they will?

Aha.

That I am afraid,

that you're gonna have to tell me something.

Something good.

Fair enough.

My first true love

was Gwen Stefani.

Gwen Stefani?

Hell yeah.

I'm just a girl.

That song rocked!

You know she was like a little punk,

you know?

And when she would get on stage,

she'd just jump around

like she was possessed

by something.

She led me to steal

for the first time.

She made you steal?

I was in the store in the mall,

and there was this little poster of her

on stage completely possessed.

And I had to have it.

I mean I had to take it

for myself.

I mean I had the money for it,

but it wasn't about buying.

She wanted me to take her.

So, I did.

I've never stolen

anything before.

Not even like a pack of gum?

Not even.

How is that even possible?

I don't know.

I was kind of a goody-goody

growing up.

Let's go steal some sh*t.

No.

Yeah.

Be part of your life education.

How?

It's good to grow.

No.

I can't.

Here, put this in your pants.

No, are you crazy?

What's the problem?

What am I gonna do with

a travelling compass?

Does it matter?

Well, it should be useful

Well, it should be useful,

shouldn't it?

No.

Okay, fine.

It will help you along your path

in these crazy days of life we live.

All right, all right.

Take these tampons if you're

so into practicality.

Hey, why don't you just let me

pick something?

You're getting a little overexcited.

Fine.

Pick something yourself.

Thank you.

I mean honestly, is this how Gwen's poster

spoke to you, because...

Feeling a little excluded,

aren't you?

Maybe.

'cause I could use some help.

You don't mean that.

Of course I do.

Yeah?

Yes.

I need a wingman,

and I think you are

the man for my wing.

Now we're talking.

All right, what's my handle?

What are you?

A trucker?

No, but if we're gonna be covert,

we can't use our real names.

Fine.

I'm Cher, you're Dion.

Why can't I be Cher?

'cause you're the sidekick

in this operation.

Touche.

I need you

to neutralize Elton.

Done.

Great.

Wait.

Who's Elton?

The creeps old lady

over at the register.

Cake.

So, Peggy,

what do you do when you're not working

at Zene's & Things?

You seem like you'd be into...

Well that sounds very interesting.

Good day, madam.

Hey, hey.

What did you get?

What the hell is that?

It's a koosh ball.

A koosh ball?

Yeah.

You think that's more useful

than a travelling compass?

Yeah.

It spoke to me.

Time out.

Time out.

So, are we tight now?

Oh, yeah.

We're an open book.

I tried.

I mean, I'm not all that interesting

really.

I mean what's to know?

I don't know.

Stuff.

Well, I don't know you.

So, like, telling you stuff

would be weird.

That's weird.

Why?

Why?

Just is.

No it's not.

You just said it was.

I didn't.

Yes you did.

Okay, I did.

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