Something to Talk About Page #3

and that's not easy to come by.

Then you marry him.

Look, child, people have survived

worse tragedies than this.

You're a grown woman

with responsibilities.

If you can't work things out,

that's one thing...

...but you haven't even tried,

and that I won't have.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

I think so.

You're telling me if I just eat sh*t politely

with a knife and fork...

...and learn to swallow

the handfuls of bullshit he serves me...

...then everything will be A-okay.

Is that it?

That's what you're saying, isn't it?

Isn't it?

Nice going. You handled that like a pro.

Watch out. I've had it with you.

All our friends complain that

they never hear from their kids anymore.

Why can't that happen to us?

-You okay?

-Yes.

I'm just so....

What did I do?

I was going to be a large-animal vet.

I only had a year to go!

How'd this happen to me?

What's that?

-The Chi O Sadie Hawkins dance.

-That's right.

Exhibit A. You asked him.

What's your point?

My point is none of this just happened.

Let's face it,

you weren't just hit by a truck.

I have to go. Charity League.

Another perfect case in point.

I have a cookbook to put out,

a daughter to raise...

...and the Winter Grand Prix!

I don't have time

for the nervous breakdown I deserve.

Please, don't ask me to stop and think.

You're right.

Forget it.

I only asked him

because he was a good dancer.

Shoot.

Wait. Can I talk to you?

I've been trying to call you.

-What is it?

-I heard that you left Eddie.

-Well, Lorene, you know....

-You would tell me, wouldn't you?

If there was anything

that had to do with me, wouldn't you?

Of course, I would.

I'm so relieved. I knew you would.

You know how Eddie and Tuffy

have always been so competitive.

I was having a really hard time with Tuffy.

I mean, he wouldn't stay put,

if you know what I mean.

Nothing sparks a man's interest

more than competition.

-Really?

-That's all it was, really. Just nothing.

Really.

If anyone wants to volunteer

for the Christmas bazaar...

...they can sign up tonight

or call me by the end of the week.

That's all.

Thanks. Anyone else? Yes, Lucy.

If everyone would sell

at least 10 raffle tickets, that'd be great.

If you don't think you can,

we need to know, so call me or Edna.

Thank you. And Grace.

I was wondering if anyone else here

has f***ed my husband.

Hello.

Lorene told me how kind he was

to help her out by sleeping with her...

...to try to make Tuffy straighten up,

so I was just wondering...

...if this is a regular service

he provides to all my friends?

-This isn't the appropriate time--

-I know that!

It's not the time for me to tell you

your husband keeps half the hookers...

...in town in high heels,

but I'm asking anyway!

If there's anyone who, for any reason,

has had any kind of sex...

...with my goddamn husband,

I think I have a right to know!

You're losing it.

I'll start.

-Who do you think you are?

-Sit down.

Kitty, did you know that Bill had an affair

with Dr. Davenport's dental hygienist?

That's not true!

Eleanor, you slept with George MacMurry

in Antigua. Lucy told me.

-That's enough!

-I won't dignify this with my presence.

Can't we be honest with each other?

You're supposed to be my friends!

If your friends won't tell you the truth,

who will?

I mean, who do we think we're kidding?

Leave me alone! I want to be by myself!

It was the best meeting

we've had in years.

What are you doing?

You almost busted up every marriage

we know.

You can help them.

You're such a Good Samaritan.

Oh, come on, Grace! We can't do this!

Can't we just get some help, or something?

George and Trudy went through this.

They got some help.

They worked it out.

Trudy's on Prozac.

Well, don't we know any normal people?

No one springs to mind.

All right, Grace. What?

Do you want a divorce?

Is that what you want?

I'll do whatever you say.

A divorce?

Is that what you want?

Is that what you want?

No.

Do you want to go into therapy?

Tell me what you want to do.

I don't know. You want

an answer right this minute?

You call the shots, Grace.

You think you're high and mighty,

but let me tell you this:

If I live long enough, and I will...

...l'm going to pull you down

off that fancy horse of yours...

...and shove your face in the muck.

So help me.

Better go.

Hey, Jamie.

-Is Grace here?

-Yeah, she is.

Can I speak to you for a second?

-What are you doing here?

-Sleep.

It's late. Come back to bed.

I want to sleep here.

-You can see Possum in the morning.

-Let me stay.

-I'll read you a story.

-I want to stay here.

You're too big for me to drag around.

-Say good night to Possum.

-Good night, Possum.

-Mom?

-Yeah, baby?

Are you gonna get a divorce?

Oh, honey.

My sweetie.

Don't you worry about anything, okay?

Please don't worry.

Everything's going to be okay.

All right? I'll work everything out.

-Is she okay?

-Yeah.

Thank you so much.

I didn't even know she was out.

-I'm gonna hit the hay.

-Good night.

She comes down every night

and visits Possum.

-She's worse than I was.

-She's a great kid.

I wouldn't talk

on that speakerphone anymore, though.

-Jeez, I'm unfit.

-No, you're not.

It's going through all this sh*t

that makes you crazy.

How long were you two together?

Ten years.

Did you find you'd lost your ability

to think rationally?

I'm here because of a custody battle

over a horse. Does that tell you anything?

I think next time, I'd rather get shot.

Don't sugar coat it on my account.

-Do I sound bitter?

-Not at all.

-How did you like California?

-Great, if you like natural disasters.

My life is a natural disaster.

Are you still up?

Not technically.

-That guy is so nice.

-Yeah, he is.

I want to have him over for dinner.

Is that weird?

Why would it be weird?

I don't know, you know....

You have people over

for dinner all the time.

You're the world's greatest hostess.

Why are you acting shy?

I'm not.

I think you should just give him a call

and ask him what he likes to eat.

If he says, '"p*ssy,'"

tell him to come on over.

Goddamn, Emma Rae, you are so vile.

Well, do something, will you?

Do something drastic.

Yeah, like I haven't already.

I'm going to bed.

Good night.

I know you're disappointed in me.

No, for you, sweetie, not in you.

Will you take some advice

from an old lady?

You've got to take this bull by the horns,

so to speak.

-Will you see him?

-We're supposed to talk tonight.

-Where?

-Houston's.

He wants to go somewhere

where he thinks you won't make a scene.

Deep in his heart,

he knows there is no such place.

Oh, no. You meet him at home.

-And if I were you....

-What?

I'd make him something special

for his supper.

I think it's more complicated than that.

I'll say it again.

Make him something special he won't

forget, ever. Here. Make him that.

'"Poached salmon

with mint mustard sauce.

'"Olive oil, honey, teaspoon....'"

-My God, but this is--

-No, it's not lethal in that small dose.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes