Son of Flubber Page #8

began to break and shatter in

various portions of our community.

This in turn brought mental

anguish and sorrow to the owners,

More especially to the auld

Lange Syne insurance company,

Which was left holding the

bag for all the damages.

But what has all this

got to do with me?

As president of auld Lange syne I was

naturally interested in this phenomenon.

So I made up a kind of a

war map of the damaged areas.

As you see,

they formed a pattern,

A sort of cone-Shaped pattern

of devastation,

As though some unseen force

had fanned out...

from one beginning point,

At a place on the corner

of maple and Litchfield.

Now, I may be wrong,

professor,

But isn't that the precise point on

which Im standing at this very moment?

That's right. I heard something

about the breaking glass,

But I had no idea I could

have been responsible.

Professor,

I have suffered damages...

amounting to tens of thousands

of dollars because of you.

I could have you dragged off

to jail and left there.

But outside of making me feel good

all over, what would it get me?

No, the point is, Im not

sore at you at all, professor.

As a matter of fact, I take

my hat off to you. [ Chuckles ]

Yes, sir, I think you've really got

something here in this glass-Breaking gizmo.

Why, it's pure genius.

[ Chuckles ]

While everybody else is busy making

things, you come up with the answer.

You come up with something

that breaks things!

But that wasn't the idea. Okay,

Brainard. You've done your part of it.

Now, as your partner,

here's how we go about it.

Very quietly, we buy up

a lot of glass company stock...

slowly, so that

nobody catches on.

Then suddenly, all over the

country, all over the world:

Zingo!

Glass begins to break.

We replace it with new glass.

It breaks. We'll clean up!

Mr. Hawk, you don't

seem to understand. I...

how about that united

nations building in new York?

How about all that glass,

huh? And stained glass.

Maybe we could organize

a quiet little corporation...

that does nothing

but break church glass.

Well, what's

the matter, Brainard?

You don't think you're gonna freeze me out of

this thing like you did out of flubber, do ya?

Your friend Mr. Hawk

isn't gonna be standin'...

with a balloon in his hand

watching the parade go by this time.

Mr. Hawk, you don't

for one minute think...

Id go along with a scheme

like that, do you?

Well, what are you actin' so high and

mighty about? You invented this, didn't ya?

The glass-Breaking was an unfortunate

side effect of my cloud experiment.

In trying to reach the cloud

with my weather gun...

there must have been an overload

of electronic excitation,

Which set up an inharmonic sawtooth

oscillation and imparted a tremor to the gas.

Now, this was intercepted by

the glass, which is, of course,

An amorphous superfluid in a

temporary state of rigidity.

And I guess the resulting strain

was just a little too much.

Yeah. Look, professor, why don't

ya just settle for what ya got here?

With the money from this

thing we'll both get fat.

And there'll be enough left over for

you to take care of the Medfield problem.

Well, that's what you want to do,

isn't it? Save Medfield college?

That kind of money would never help

Medfield college or anyone else, Mr. Hawk.

Well, you know what

you're doing, don't you?

You'll go to jail

for what you did to me!

And before this day is over Ill

be back here with the sheriff,

And we'll have this place

tied up tighter than Fort Knox!

With all your work and all your

experiments! Good day, Mr. Hawk.

And as for Medfield,

a year from now...

people will have forgotten there

ever was such a punk little college.

You wanna bet?

Oh, hi, pop. What are you

doin' here? Out of the way, son.

Hey, pop, I just thought Id mention it.

You're a little overdue on my allowance.

Allowance!

Why, Im just liable...

to send you off to jail

with this criminal here,

As a fellow conspirator,

a partner in crime!

Why, if you weren't deductible,

Id disown ya!

What was that all about?

Come on, fellas. Let's get to work

on that football suit of yours.

Professor, you mean you're gonna

help us? Maybe the college...

won't be here next year, but we're

going to see that nobody ever forgets it!

Yahoo! Come on, humph!

Let's hustle into it!

But, biff, about my idea!

You promised!

Will you forget about that.

The professor's with us now!

The first team's comin' into the game!

We're gonna have the suit in no time.

Biff, biff. Let's take

it easy for a minute.

Now, your basic idea is fine. I just think

there might be a more effective way of using it.

That's what Ive been

trying to tell him.

Forget the suit. Put the

flubber gas in the football!

Boy, just think:
70-Yard

kicks, 90-Yard passes!

Humph, what is the matter

with you? Are you cracking up?

Our team can't even

hold onto the ball now.

Now, what would happen if we hopped

it up with flubber gas? Biff is right.

It's very important to control the ball at

all times. We must never lose possession of it.

So, we never throw just the ball;

we throw the player with the ball.

Right! We... we throw

a player? That's right.

[ Stuttering ] I

- Look, professor, couldn't we put the gas in the football?

You know, forget the suit?

Humphrey, it's just simple logic.

With the flubber gas we make you

quasi-Weightless, or buoyant,

And then we throw you

with the ball.

You do? Yes! Don't you

see the beauty of it?

Even if they intercept, we still

have possession of the ball. Right?

Right!

Right, Humphrey?

Uh, right. Well, good. Let's go to work!

[ Crowd ] poor old

Medfield! See them run!

Come on, Rutland! Mow

them down! [ Cheering ]

Well, ladies and gentlemen, here we

are in the little community of Medfield.

Say what you will about their football

team, at least the weather here is good.

A clear, crisp, moonlight

night, not a cloud in the sky.

As for what has been optimistically

advertised as a football game,

I'm afraid we can't

promise ya much.

Mighty Rutland university... untied,

unscored-Upon for the past three seasons,

Knocking at the door

of the national championship...

pitted tonight

against puny Medfield.

Oh! Here comes

Rutland on the field.

[ Crowd cheering ]

They've chickened out,

both of them.

Wait! I get my hands on

those two! Coach! Coach!

I got a note for you.

Oh, good, good.

"Dear coach:
Humphrey and I will be

a little late for the game tonight,

"So go ahead without us.

"We're getting

a secret weapon ready.

"You'll be proud of us

when you see what it is.

Best wishes, biff hawk. "

Oh, no. Coach. Steady. Steady.

Best wishes? Be-Best wishes! Oh!

[ Stammering,

sobbing ]

And at fullback position for

Rutland, Hjalmar Woccskyinska,

A 240-Pound husky

from broken jaw, Idaho.

Back home

during his summer vacations,

Hjalmar runs a training

school for prison guards.

[ Laughs ] and that completes

the starting lineup for Rutland.

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