Son of the Pink Panther Page #3

a little to close to Uncle Idris for comfort.

- Will I see you tomorrow?

- Of course.

Your hiccups are gone.

Incredible. How did you discover that?

I was engaged to a football player

when I went to college in the U.S..

He always had the hiccups.

Who could blame him.

How about you?

- I've never had hiccups. - Never?

- But if I ever do, then...

I hope to you find in the neighbourhood.

I'll consider it an honor

and a privilege to be of assistance.

- How long have you been a policeman, Officer Gambrelli?

- Oh. Three years next May.

How long have you been Princess, Your Highness?

- All my life.

- That's a long time to be anything.

- Do you like being a cop?

- Yes sometimes. How is it being a princess?

- It's not much fun.

- Oh, the fun is important.

What else is important to you?

- Oh... Singing.

- Yes...

That... is terrible.

Yes, and poetry.

Parents of golden dreams,

the romance of the Queen's joy

The airy dance

That's Byron.

And the rain.

And sleeping. And my mother.

- Do you like your mother?

- Yes, very much, yes. And women.

What kind of women?

All kinds. Especially

dark women with blue eyes...

and full red lips, who smell like night-blooming jasmine

and taste like warm mango.

Warm mango?

And honey.

- Oh my God.

- Mine too... hic...

Playing Doctor?

We're going on a little trip. And I think you'll

be much more comfortable asleep throughout the journey.

Touch her and you'll answer to me.

- There'll be nothing left of him when that goes off.

- He's coming out of it.

Come.

You're driving too fast.

- Ahh... Mama.

- Jacques, I was so worried.

The Princess. They have taken the Princess!

- Please, Jacques.

- I have to stop them.

- You're not supposed to get up.

- I must. I must tell the Commissioner about Uncle Idris.

I will tell the Commissioner about Uncle Idris?

Who is the uncle Idris?

I don't know.

I remember he is someone, that they were going to

Darfur...

to visit Uncle Idris.

- Just keep quiet.

- Uncle Idris.

- Well?

- They said he was in Room 408.

I'll check.

How is he?

Jacques just wanted to get out of bed come to...

come down here to tell you about a guy called Idris.

He said they were going a place called Darfur.

Darfur? That's in a small military republic called Lugash.

- Charles. - Yes, Maria.

- I'm worried about Jacques.

There, there, if he's anything like his father,

he'll be alright, he'll manage.

But that's the trouble, he's

too much like his father

That's why I disappeared, came here and

encourage him in music and poetry

but in spite of everything he

was determined to be a policeman.

And to protect you, Charles?

- You must know who his father was.

- His father, yes, was an idiot. I mean...

- Yes, but I can not say that.

- Of course not.

Clouseau has always been his hero.

Imagine you've always wanted

be a great fisherman...

and suddenly you discover that

your father was Captain Ahab.

Come here. Tell me...

- You and Clouseau...

- I was very young.

I know I still don't understand.

You, such a beautiful woman.

We were caught in a snowstorm,

I knew that if we didn't do something we would die.

He said that the Alaskan Indians

keep from freezing to death by making love.

I was young, I wanted to live.

Do I hope you are not offended?

No. It's just too bad you didn't have a stationary bike

or a rowing machine or something.

- So, I never would have had Jacques.

- Exactly, no no.

I was a little brusque.

Tell me, don't you think it's best if

you told him about his father now?

Probably let him find out for himself later on.

Yes, actually you're right.

Oh, Chief, you look a bit frazzled.

Why not, Officer Gambrelli

pushed me out of the window.

Fortunately I held onto the telephone.

And to make matters worse

Officer Gambrelli wont tell me anything

until he's cleared it with you.

Have you taken charge of this case Commissioner...

But I am chief of police here.

And as long as Officer

Gambrelli is on my force...

I expect him to report to me

without your official permission!

And I always knew you were

a pompous pissant pip... pip...

Commissioner.

- Clouseau, my father.

- Yes.

Why didn't you tell me?

For the same reason I did not tell him.

I thought you would both be better off not knowing.

Your father and I weren't in love.

We had a brief encounter in a blizzard.

Why did you pretend my father was a

Italian French horn player.

Well, for one thing to justify

your interest in music.

Actually, Clouseau played the violin.

Not well, but full of passion.

He made love the way he played violin.

- Why tell me now?

- Because in many ways you are like your father.

Foolhardy, accident prone,

pigheaded, brave...

Accident prone.

I think it's important that you know

the things that kept him alive.

Also all those things that he did not pay

attention too and that cost him his life.

If I should die, I'll encounter the darkness

as a bride and encircle it with my arms.

- Shakespeare.

- Yes.

Excuse me, but you would want to know

Chief Lazar and Commissioner Dreyfus

are both in intensive care.

- Have you told him?

- Yes.

- Gendarme 2nd class Gambrelli

- Yes?

- Looks like you're in charge now.

- Yes. -No.

Time is running out for the princess.

Apart from me and Franois...

Gambrelli officer is the only one

you can identify the kidnappers.

But Charles he has

so little experience.

His father was a patrolman

and became the...

greatest detective in France

without any experience.

If you are a Clouseau, you

can succeed without experience.

- I hope you will now change your name?

- Why?

- You are a Clouseau.

- Yes but Gambrelli is a good name.

Gambrelli.

You can sing it. And you want me to change it?

Sounds nice, your

father saved my life.

Clouseau... OK.

Franois you are to see to it, that Gendarme

2nd Class Jacques Gambrelli be promoted...

to Detective 1st Class Jacques

Clouseau, Junior.

As fast as you can get him

new papers and a passport.

Do not worry Maria, when the kidnappers

hear that a Clouseau is on their trail...

they'll probably surrender without a fight.

Shut up.

Salute.

- Dr. Balls?

- Who wants to know?

Detective Jacques Clouseau,

2nd... 1st Class, Junior.

I spoke with you on the phone earlier...

- Good evening.

- I am Madame balls.

- You do not like him.

- I wouldn't know, I've never met your husband.

- Who said anything about my husband?

- You said I do not look like him.

- I meant your father.

- Well, why didn't you say so, I never met him either.

He is a real Clouseau.

- Detective Clouseau.

- 1st class, Junior.

Of course. Dr. Auguste

Balls, totally at your service.

You must forgive me for having Madame

Balls establish your authenticity.

Many grims and charlatans

these days would use my talents.

When you're a part of the game You can't be too careful.

Now, am I?

Yes.

Happy to see the child of my oldest,

dearest and deadest friend.

And as I always used to think of him,

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