Sonic the Hedgehog (2020) Page #2

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[Scene Change:
Woods, day]

[Sonic sets the shaking turtle down on the ground after their run]

Sonic:
Let's keep this our little secret, okay? You never saw me. [In a mysterious voice] I was never here.

["Don't Stop Me Now" continues as Sonic speeds through the woods and into his new home in the trunk of a tree and he's having a real blast, mimicking a singer, doing calisthenics, playing guitar, and jumping rope]

Sonic (narrating): So what were you expecting? [Swinging on a tire swing] A dirty little hedgehog eating berries and struggling to survive? Think again. [Reading comic books of The Flash] Because I am living my best life on Earth. I've got a library, [Running inside a dryer like a hamster on a wheel] a home gym, [Wearing a ninja headband and brandishes two pairs of nunchucks] and a state-of-the-art security system.

[Sonic waves the nunchucks around until he hits himself. He then plays ping-pong with himself, zipping between both sides of the table, and has fun until he hits Longclaw's Ring satchel, spilling several Rings as well as a piece of paper on the ground]

Sonic:
Oh, no!

[Sonic gathers the Rings and puts them back and then takes a look at the paper, which is actually a map of planets]

Sonic (narrating): And if I'm ever discovered, I'll follow Longclaw's instructions and use my Rings to escape to a new planet.

[Sonic holds up a Ring to the map against Earth on the map. He then hovers it over another planet, represented by mushrooms.]

Sonic (narrating): A nice, safe world filled only with mushrooms.

[Sonic tosses the ring and it opens up a portal to the Mushroom Planet, where thousands of mushrooms large and small grow like forests]

Sonic (narrating): Gross, smelly mushrooms.

[Sonic now looks annoyed]

Sonic:
I hate mushrooms.

[Scene Change:
Foothills, day]

[Sonic reaches a ledge overlooking Green Hills and looks out at the beautiful landscape]

Sonic (narrating): But let's not worry about all that! This is Green Hills, the greatest place on Earth.

[Sonic speeds off to the city]

Sonic (narrating): These are my people, and, dare I say, I am their loveable space creature. [Stands on top of a building, watching everything] So what if they don't know I exist?

[We see Tom holding a donut]

Sonic (narrating): My favorite person is the Donut Lord, [Tom eats the donut] protector of this town and defender of all creatures, big and small.

[We see a family of ducks crossing the road and Tom is halting traffic in order to let the ducks cross and he also talks to them]

Tom:
Morning! Donald, Daisy, Daffy.

[Scene Change:
Wachowski residence]

[We then see Maddie Wachowski, Tom's wife, walking to her backyard with a laptop]

Sonic (narrating): Donut Lord lives with Pretzel Lady.

[We see that Maddie is practicing yoga]

Sonic (narrating): She is super nice to animals and strangely was born without bones.

[Sonic is watching from behind some bushes and trying to replicate Maddie's poses]

Sonic:
Ouch, ouch, ouch.

[Scene Change:
Restaurant, day]

[We see Crazy Carl, holding a crudely drawn picture of Sanic in front of some people and they are laughing hysterically]

Sonic (narrating): There is one person in town who's actually onto me. He calls me the Blue Devil!

Crazy Carl:
[To Tom] I almost caught him last night.

[Scene Change:
Forest, night]

[We see a flashback where Crazy Carl has traps set up all over the place]

Sonic (narrating): Say hello to Crazy Carl.

[Sonic zips by the traps, setting them off, and not one of them catches him. Crazy Carl grows frantic]

Sonic (narrating): We have fun together.

[Crazy Carl ends up getting caught in one of his own traps and is now hanging upside down from a tree]

Crazy Carl:
I know you're out there! And I know you're real!

Sonic:
[Faintly] No, I'm not!

[Scene:
Wachowski residence interior, night]

[Tom and Maddie are sitting on the couch with their dog, Ozzie, eating popcorn and watching a movie]

Sonic (narrating): Movie night is my favorite.

[Sonic slowly rises from behind the window and has his fingers crossed and his eyes closed]

Sonic:
Please, please, please, please.

[Sonic opens one eye and sees the movie's title, Speed, appear on the television]

Sonic:
Yes! Keanu! You are a national treasure.

Jack on TV (Keanu Reeves): When I find you--

Howard Payne on TV (Dennis Hopper): Pop quiz, hotshot. There's a bomb on the bus.

Sonic:
"Pop quiz, hotshot." [Makes a chef's kiss gesture] It's a classic line.

Sonic (narrating): Basically, we're like a family. Even though we haven't met yet.

[Scene Change:
Psychiatrist's Office, day]

Sonic:
[As a psychiatrist, speaking in a German accent, wearing glasses, and holding a clipboard and pencil] You don't zink your prolonged isolation is making you a bit crazy, perhaps? [Playing the role of a patient] Crazy? Me? No way, Doc. You got me all wrong. [Plays the role of the psychiatrist again] And despite all these so-called friends of yours, [Takes off the glasses] deep down, [In a normal voice] you're still rather lonely?

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