Sonic the Hedgehog (2020) Page #6

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[Scene:
Wachowski residence, day]

[Sonic is now inside Ozzie's dog cage and Tom gently pokes him with a spatula and moves his head a little. He then notices Sonic's quills and picks up the one he found earlier. It's a match]

Tom:
The Blue Devil.

[Tom walks to the counter and ponders what he should do, while Sonic regains consciousness, opens the cage, and tries to stand up. Tom grabs his cell phone and turns back to the cage, but is startled by Sonic]

Sonic:
Donut Lord?

Tom:
It can talk. You're not... you're not here to abduct me, are you?

Sonic:
You abducted me!

Tom:
Okay, that's a fair point. What are you? Why were you hiding out in my garage?

Sonic:
I needed to be somewhere safe. And you're the only person I could think of, Donut Lord.

Tom:
Why do you keep calling me Donut Lord?

Sonic:
‘Cause you talk to donuts. And then eat them if they get out of line.

Tom:
Again, fair.

Sonic:
Wait, wait, wait. Where are all the mushrooms? Why am I still on Earth? What is-- Oh, no! I lost my Rings!

Tom:
What?!

[Tom hears a vehicle approaching outside, which is Dr. Robotnik's truck]

Tom:
What's happening? Is this your mother ship? I'm not in the mood to get probed.

Sonic:
You think you're worried? I'm not even wearing pants!

Tom:
[Looks out the window to see Dr. Robotnik's truck parked outside] What the…

[Sonic looks out as well but yelps and covers the window with the curtains]

Sonic:
They're coming for me!

Tom:
Who's coming for you? What does that got to do with me?

Sonic:
I don't have time to explain, but you have to help me!

Tom:
No, I don't! Why?

Sonic:
Well, my legs, which normally would be classified as lethal weapons, feel like spaghetti. I need your help. Please. It's life or death.

[Tom looks at Sonic, then back to the window, then he makes his decision]

Tom:
Fine. Come with me.

[Tom walks out while Sonic tries to walk, but instead facepalms on the floor after falling off the table]

Sonic:
Uh, little help?

[Scene Change:
Outside, day]

[Dr. Robotnik is examining more footprints and he uses his glove controls again]

[Scene:
Wachowski attic, day]

Tom:
All right, stay here. And be quiet.

Sonic:
Good plan. Great plan! We're already working so well together! Practically finishing each other's sentences.

[Tom walks downstairs, closing the attic door on the way out]

Sonic:
Okay, bye.

[Standing in the doorway, Tom looks out and sees Dr. Robotnik on the walkway]

Tom:
Hello there! Can I help you?

Dr. Robotnik:
[Walks over to the steps] Good morning, my rural chum. I'm… from the power company, investigating the blackout. If you don't mind, I'd like to take a few readings inside your house?

Tom:
No kidding! You're from the power company? You must know my buddy Spencer. We play softball together.

Dr. Robotnik:
Ah, Spence. He's a good man.

Tom:
Yeah. Come on in!

Dr. Robotnik:
Great.

[Dr. Robotnik trots up the steps and onto the porch before being stopped by Tom]

Tom:
Take all the readings you need. Except, [Bars the doorway to block Dr. Robotnik from entering] doesn't the power company usually take their readings from outside the house? That way they can check on you even if you're not home. Also, my buddy Spencer works for the gas company, and he's more of an Ultimate Frisbee guy. So, you want to tell me why you think I'm dumb enough to just let you walk inside my house?

[Dr. Robotnik puts one hand behind his back and uses his glove controls to send out a couple of his drones to search the house]

Dr. Robotnik:
I'm sorry, Mister…

Tom:
Wachowski. But everyone just calls me Tom. Except my dentist, he calls me Tim. But it's gone on for so long that it would be weird if I corrected him.

Dr. Robotnik:
Well, Tom Whose-Dentist-Calls-Him-Tim, you may have noticed that this entire town has been experiencing a power outage.

Tom:
Yep, no lights. Picked up on that.

Dr. Robotnik:
20 minutes ago, I tracked an energy pulse with a similar signature to the one that caused this disruption.

[Some of Dr. Robotnik's drones fly into the house via the windows and even the chimney and one scans the attic while Sonic watches and tries to stay out of sight]

Tom:
Listen, Mister--

Dr. Robotnik:
Doctor. Dr. Robotnik. But my dentist calls me Rob.

Tom:
Look, uh, Dr. Robotskeez. Um, I'm sure what you're here for is very serious, but it's got nothing to do with me. You can ask anyone in town. Everyone knows me.

Dr. Robotnik:
I bet they do. I'm sure you're hella popular with the Jebs and the Merles and Billy Bobs in this glorified gas-station rest stop. Betcha go way back to the days of tipping cows and playing in a jug band! [Imitates a jug band player] And maybe someday you'll achieve your goal of getting a Costco card or adopting a Labradoodle. But the reality is, I surpassed EVERYTHING YOU'RE EVER GOING TO DO… before I was a toddler. I was spitting out formulas while you were still spitting up formula.

Tom:
I was breastfed, actually.

Dr. Robotnik:
Nice. Rub that in my orphan face. Mr. Wachowski, are you familiar with US Code 904, Title 10, Article 104?

Tom:
Yeah, who isn't--

Dr. Robotnik:
"Anyone who attempts to aid an enemy of the United States shall suffer death." And if I'm the one who catches you, it'll be even worse.

Tom:
Worse than death?

[Scene:
Wachowski attic, day]

[Sonic is curled up into a ball to blend in with the other sports balls to avoid detection]

Sonic:
Okay, I'm a ball, just a normal ball. I'm blending in like a ball. Shh, stop talking. No, you stop talking. Be quiet, Sonic. YOU be quiet, Sonic! Oh, I hope they aren't scanning me with X-rays. I had a kind of an embarrassing lunch.

[Another flying drone flies into the attic and starts scanning the area and they get closer to the blue ball]

Sonic:
Don't freak out. Don't freak out, don't freak out. [The lasers get even closer] Don't freak out, don't freak out.

[Just before the scanners reach him, he panics]

Sonic:
I'm freaking out!!!

[Sonic leaps out of his hiding spot, fumbles out of the attic, and rolls down the stairs]

Sonic:
Why don't you have your staircase carpeted?!

[Sonic rolls into the kitchen and bumps into the counter]

Dr. Robotnik:
Compared to what I--

[Tom and Dr. Robotnik look for the source of the noise]

Tom:
Old pipes.

Dr. Robotnik:
Yeah. Probably just the house settling. Nothing to see here!

[Dr. Robotnik pushes Tom out of the way and rushes inside to find the source of the noise with Tom behind him]

Tom:
Hey!

[Tom and Dr. Robotnik find a raccoon on top of the counter, chomping away at the cake]

Dr. Robotnik:
Here's the thing. I'm never wrong.

Tom:
[Pats Dr. Robotnik's shoulder] Well, first time for everything, I guess.

[Tom walks over to the counter as the raccoon leaves through a doggie door]

Tom:
Would you like some cake? I hear raccoons have the cleanest mouths of any animal that routinely eats garbage.

[Dr. Robotnik chuckles and gives Tom a chagrined look and turns away, only to find Sonic's quill on the table, and he picks it up, a sinister smirk appears on his face]

Dr. Robotnik:
Look at that. I was right. [Waves his hand down his face] Note the lack of surprise.

[Dr. Robotnik's face turns angry once again]

Dr. Robotnik:
Shall we try this again?

[Dr. Robotnik whistles to the tune of Richard Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" and a flying drone slowly approaches Tom while Sonic is watching underneath the counter and the drone arms its weapons and aims them at Tom. Dr. Robotnik strokes Sonic's quill as he inches closer to Tom]

Dr. Robotnik:
I'm going to give you 5 seconds to tell me where it is. 5.

Tom:
I don't know what you're talking about.

Dr. Robotnik:
4.

Tom:
Hey, tough guy. I'm a cop. And you're threatening an officer. [Brandishes his badge]

Dr. Robotnik:
How can you threaten somebody who never existed? 3. Come on! Rack your brain! You might be able to come up with some lame excuse to go on living. In 2…

[Tom glances at the drone]

Dr. Robotnik:
1!

Sonic:
[Rushes from beneath the counter] Wait! Don't hurt him!

Dr. Robotnik:
[screams]

[Tom punches Dr. Robotnik in the face, knocking him out. A skirmish ensues inside the house with the flying drone firing its weapons everywhere, breaking objects and knocking some over while Sonic and Tom scramble for cover]

Sonic:
This feels excessive!

[Sonic notices the drone and gets an idea]

Tom:
Stay behind me.

[Tom notices Sonic is no longer with him, but rather, climbing on top of a shelf, preparing to commence his attack. Tom shakes his head urgently but Sonic just nods and give him a smug look and Sonic jumps onto the drone]

Sonic:
Hiyah!

[Sonic is now controlling the drone]

Sonic:
Don't worry, I got it right where I want it!

[Tom scrambles for cover while Sonic is having a blast]

Sonic:
Can you believe Amazon is gonna deliver packages with these things?

[The drone tries shaking Sonic off]

Sonic:
This was a horrible plan! What was I thinking?!

[Tom sees something as Sonic continues to fight the drone but is ultimately thrown off]

Sonic:
I'm gonna puke!

[Tom grabs something round off the table and whacks the drone with it, destroying the machine. He then goes to Sonic and carries him out of the house while he is acting loopy from the fight]

Tom:
Come on! We gotta get out of here.

Sonic:
[droozing] Oh, don't tell me that's all you got! I'm just getting started! Let me know if you want to go round two with the blue!

[Tom puts him in the passenger seat and gets into the truck, starts it, and drives away as quickly as possible, just as Agent Stone arrives and he walks inside the house and finds Dr. Robotnik on the floor]

Agent Stone:
Doctor! Are you okay? [Helps Dr. Robotnik up] I saw a guy race out of here and thought--

Dr. Robotnik:
That you should stop them? Open your mouth and say you thought that you should stop them.

Agent Stone:
No, I thought that maybe I should check to see if you were okay…

[Dr. Robotnik grabs him by his lower jaw and pulls him close]

Dr. Robotnik:
You know what's hard about being the smartest person in the world?

Agent Stone:
Everyone else seems stupid.

Dr. Robotnik:
Stupid, yes! Way to go! You got that one. [Releases Agent Stone and wipes his gloves on Agent Stone's coat] Whatever this creature is, it's our job to secure it, neutralize it, uncover the source of its power. And if it resists, we take it apart. Piece by piece. [Puts on his broken glasses] See what makes it tick. Stone?

Agent Stone:
Doctor?

Dr. Robotnik:
Call Optical Illusions. [Takes off his glasses] Tell them I need new frames. [Tosses his glasses to the floor] They know what kind I like. [Walks away but stops] Oh, and bring that quill. [Walks out]

Agent Stone:
Yes, Doctor.

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