Sonic the Hedgehog (2020) Page #8

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[Scene Change:
Rest Stop, night]

[Sonic and Tom pull into a rest stop on the other side of town and the truck pulls up to a fueling station and Tom gets out of the truck and puts a hat on and walks to the other side of the truck]

Tom:
All right, I'm gonna go check in with Wade, see if he knows what's going on.

Sonic:
You're gonna see Wade in that glass thing? What is it, a teleportation box?

Tom:
[Looks behind him and back at Sonic] It's a pay phone. It's mostly for drug dealers and fugitives from the law, which is us. Stay in the car. I don't want anybody seeing you.

Sonic:
Ugh, fine.

[Tom walks to the pay phone and goes inside. Meanwhile, Sonic is horsing around in the truck, pretending like he is actually driving it and making engine noises, when he spots a large gathering of bikers off to the side and he gasps with wonder before ducking down behind the door]

Sonic:
Okay, okay. That is the coolest place on Earth, but you have to stay in the car!

[Sonic slowly peaks his head up to continue watching everything play out in front of him, and it causes him to hyperventilate, fogging up the glass on the window, which he wipes away to keep watching. He's still fighting his excitement by rocking back and forth in the driver's seat]

Sonic:
Be strong, be strong!

[Unable to take it anymore, Sonic spots a pair of sunglasses and gets an idea. Meanwhile, Tom is on the phone with Wade]

[Scene Change:
Police Station, night]

Wade:
Hello. Green Hills Police Department.

[Scene Change:
Rest Stop, night]

Tom:
Wade, it's me.

Wade:
[Over the phone] Hi. I'm so glad that you called.

[Scene Change:
Police Station, night]

Wade:
Uh, so, some guys came in asking some questions. Uh, they're a little creepy. [Chuckles nervously]

[Scene Change:
Rest Stop, night]

Wade:
Kind of reminded me of, uh, the guys from Men in Black, but not as likable or, uh, charming as Will Smith.

Tom:
Wait, what kind of questions?

Wade:
Um, questions about… terrorism? Heh, I told them that I've gone ice fishing with Tom. He doesn't know how to make a bomb!

[Scene Change:
Rest Stop, night]

Wade:
[Over the phone] He can't even make, like, bait in the cold!

Tom:
All right, Wade, listen to me. This is really important. Don't tell them that we talked, okay?

[Scene Change:
Police Station, night]

Wade:
[Looks up and sees Dr. Robotnik and Agent Stone staring him down] You know, I think they already know. [Dr. Robotnik grabs the phone from Wade]

Dr. Robotnik:
Mr. Wachowski.

[Scene Change:
Rest Stop, night]

Tom:
Ugh, Tom.

[Scene Change:
Police Station, night]

Dr. Robotnik:
I want you to know that the only person who ever punched me in the face was the school bully. He hit me in the cafeteria, causing a blunt-force contusion to the soft tissue surrounding my orbital bone. Humiliated me in front of the entire school! And you know what I did in response?

[Scene Change:
Rest Stop, night]

Tom:
Uh, I'm assuming that you reported him to the principal's office ‘cause , you know, that kind of behavior is really unacceptable.

[Scene Change:
Police Station, night]

Dr. Robotnik:
No, I examined the inefficiency of a world where brawn trumped brain, and I used technology to resolve that inefficiency. The boy ate his meals through a straw for a year. And I have never lost a fight... until today.

[Scene Change:
Rest Stop, night]

Tom:
Hey, hooray for me then, huh?

[Scene Change:
Police Station, night]

Dr. Robotnik:
No, because you're about to become the bully with the straw! I'm coming for you, Mr. Wachowski. And when I catch you, I'll-- [Tom hangs up] Hello. Hello? Hello, hello, hello?

Wade:
I think he actually hung up, because I notice the light isn't on…

Dr. Robotnik:
Thank you, Officer Brainfart.

Wade:
If you give me a second I can get an outside line…

Dr. Robotnik:
No. Don't be bothered. You just sit there and be "u"... seless.

[Dr. Robotnik, Agent Stone, and the others walk out of the room]

Wade:
No one's gonna… erase my memory here? I will tell people about this!

[Scene Change:
Rest Stop, night]

[Tom comes back to the truck with a fast food meal]

Tom:
Okay, not exactly the healthiest meal, but… [Notices Sonic is no longer in the truck] Sonic?

[Tom looks over to the biker bar and realizes Sonic might be in there]

Tom:
No, no, no, no, no!

[Tom sets the meal down on the hood of the truck and rushes to the biker bar]

[Scene Change:
Piston Pit, night]

[Tom enters the biker bar, called the Piston Pit, and looks around for Sonic, which he finally sees Sonic sitting at a table wearing a cowboy hat, the sunglasses, and a red shirt. Tom stomps his foot and Sonic turns around, tipping his hat to Tom]

Sonic:
(In a western accent) Howdy, partner!

Tom:
I'm not your partner. Come on. We're leaving.

Sonic:
But there's a ZZ Top cover band. You gotta see their beards.

Tom:
We'll have to catch ‘em some other time. Let's go! Get up!

Sonic:
If we stay, I promise I won't say another word for the rest of the trip, starting… now!

Waitress:
[Walks over to Tom and Sonic] Welcome to the Piston Pit. What can I get you fellas?

Sonic:
Ooh! I want nachos and buffalo wings. Oh, and guac. Funny word isn't it? Guac, guac! Guuaaac!

Waitress:
Hey, no kids allowed in here. What's he got on, some kind of mask?

Tom:
Oh! He, he's actually 43 years old and suffers from a very rare skin disease that stunts his growth and makes him look… like-like that.

Sonic:
The face, I was born with. The confidence, I picked up along the way.

[The waitress smiles]

Tom:
Make his a Mello Yellow, please.

Waitress:
Okay.

[The waitress walks away as Tom sits down at the table]

Tom:
You owe me one.

Sonic:
I never sat on a barstool before! So squishy! Oh, look at this, it spins! [Spins around on the barstool] Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Tom:
Yes. That's nice.

Sonic:
Whaa-ha-ha-ha! [Stops spinning] I feel sick.

Tom:
Are you having fun? Gonna check this off the ol' bucket list, huh? Big night for you.

Sonic:
What's a bucket list?

Tom:
[Sighs] A bucket list is, uh, it's a list of things you want to do in your life before you, well, kick the bucket.

Sonic:
I've never kicked a bucket either! Oh, I gotta make my list!

[Sonic speeds off and grabs a pen and pad and comes back to the table, writing down his list]

Sonic:
Uh-huh! Mm-hmm! Oh, Sonic! Ha-ha! Uh-huh! [Stops and frowns]

Tom:
[Notices Sonic's concern] What? What's the matter?

Sonic:
There's so much stuff I've never done. And now that I'm leaving Earth forever, I guess I missed my chance.

Tom:
[Looks around] Well, I guess this is the kind of place you could get a lot of living done in a short period of time. I suppose we can spare an hour.

Sonic:
What? You're gonna bucket list with me?!

Tom:
Sure, why not?

Sonic:
You won't regret this!

Tom:
Oh, I'm pretty sure I will.

["Bad News" by Ghost Hounds plays in the background. Sonic and Tom line dance with a group of patrons. Playing darts, Tom scores a bullseye. Sonic picks up a bucket of darts and rapid-fires them. He misses the board completely, but punctures their waitress' hat and beer cans she's holding on her plate. Sonic crosses "Compete in a sport" off his bucket list. Tom plays a basketball game but unwittingly uses Sonic as a ball and Sonic uses his fast legs to build up Tom's score as he sits on the hoop ring]

Sonic:
Ha-ha! New high score!

[He crosses "Do a SLAM DUNK" off his list. He and Tom are dancing again]

Sonic:
Yippee-ki-yay! Ah-ha!

[Sonic is riding a mechanical bull]

Sonic:
Wait a second, is this bull missing a head, or does it have two butts?

[Tom mockingly yawns from seeing Sonic ride the bull]

Sonic:
This is easy!

[Tom decides to turn up the speed for the mechanical bull by inserting a quarter into the machine and tapping the button for the highest speed and he laughs from watching Sonic hold onto it and being thrown around]

Sonic:
Yee-haw! I'm a cowboy, baby!

[Sonic gets thrown off the bull but speeds back onto it like nothing happened]

Sonic:
I'm okay!

(He crosses "Tame a wild animal" off his bucket list. Tom and Sonic are dancing again, but Sonic accidentally bumps into a female patron]

Tom:
Whoo, yeah!

[The female patron throws a drink in Tom's face, thinking it was him who slapped her hiney. Afterwards, Tom is drying up while Sonic is laughing at Tom's plight]

Tom:
Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.

Sonic:
Nice work, Romeo!

Tom:
[Sarcastic laughter] Glad you're having a good time.

Sonic:
I AM having a good time! I'm having the best time! I mean, what could go wrong?

[Suddenly, a group of mean-looking patrons approach him and Tom]

Tom:
Uh, heh, can we help you?

Thug:
We don't like your kind around here.

Sonic:
"Our kind" What kind is that?

Thug:
Hipsters.

Sonic:
[Gasps] How dare you.

Tom:
Hey, you know what? We were just leaving anyway. Weren't we? There's not a problem here.

Sonic:
No, no, no, it's okay.

Tom:
No, no, no, we're leaving.

Sonic:
I know exactly how to handle this situation. [Grabs a beer bottle, stands up, and clears his throat] Pop quiz, hotshot. You just picked a fight with a poorly disguised hedgehog who's seen way too many action movies. What do you do? What do you do? Ha!

[Sonic jumps up and tries to smash the bottle over the guy's head expecting the bottle to shatter, but nothing happens]

Sonic:
Huh? Am I crazy? It's supposed to break, right? [Tries again, numerous times, his speed increasing as well] Dink! Dink, dink! Break, please. Break, please. Break this bottle, please. Please, please, please, please, please!

Tom:
Uh, Sonic?

[The guy raises his fist]

Sonic:
Uh-oh!

[Sonic ducks the guy's punch, but Tom doesn't. He topples into more patrons, sparking a full scale brawl. Tom punches two brawlers and dodges a third]

Sonic:
Ho-hoo! Ho-ho-ho!

Tom:
[Sarcastically] Nice going!

Sonic:
Thanks! It's awesome, right? All right, who's next? Who wants some? Who do I get to beat up? Hey! Has anybody seen my waitress? Still waiting on those buffalo wings.

[He sees the thug from earlier cracking his knuckles]

Sonic:
Why, you!

[Sonic jumps and punches the thug in the face repeatedly in slow-motion, somersaults, and lands back on the floor]

Sonic:
Ha-ha!

[Sonic blows on his fists and the thug turns around and growls aggressively]

Sonic:
Uh-oh!

[The thug runs to tackle him, but now time seems to have stopped and everything is frozen in place as Sonic's awareness is increased tenfold]

Sonic:
Really?

[Sonic speeds away, leaving his hat and shirt in midair. "BOOM" by X Ambassadors plays as Sonic runs around the bar. Flying food and spilled beer hang in the air. A falling man has his front tooth flying and his phone in midair. Sonic grabs the phone and takes a selfie. Sonic runs full tilt into a flying empty boot. Sonic sees that Tom is about to be punched by two of the bullies. He pulls the beanie over the eyes of one of them, then stretches the underwear of the other and hooks it over a cast harpy eagle. Then he pushes Tom out of harm's way and into the bar. Sonic runs to the edge of the bar where half a dozen chili dogs hang in midair. He scarfs them down, belches, and grabs two burning sparklers from the waitress's upended tray. A woman has two men in a headlock. Sonic covers their heads with mustard and ketchup then sticks the sparklers into the woman's ears. He covers two fighters head to toe with toilet paper. He weaves a long string of flags through the rest of the battling patrons, including two women both with caps and beer bottles and mirroring each other's position, and lassos the end of the flags to a ceiling fan. He runs up the wall and pulls off a mounted bear's head. Leaping from person to person, Sonic carries the bear's head to the bald guy and places it on his head, Sonic's hat and shirt still hang in midair, and he gets back into them. He grabs a checkered napkin and holds it up like a matador. The scene returns to normal speed and everyone is neutralized by Sonic's tricks]

Sonic:
Olé!

[Blinded by the bear head, the charging bully flies through the front window. Only Tom is left standing due to Sonic saving him from the fight. Tom looks around at the injured patrons and even sees a one of the toiler paper mummies fall to the ground, and Sonic sides up alongside Tom at the bar]

Sonic:
So, should we get out of here?

Tom:
Yeah, time to go!

[Sonic and Tom rush out of the Piston Pit and make a beeline for the truck]

Sonic:
Ha-ha-ha! That was amazing! [Throws his disguise off to the side] Wait a second, did we even pay our tab? It doesn't matteeer!!! Watch this, watch this! I always wanted to do this!

[Sonic jumps up and slides across the hood of Tom's truck in slow-motion, barely noticing the fast food from earlier, and he slides inside the truck]

Sonic:
Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Bar patron:
Get 'em!

Sonic:
[Waving] See ya, suckers!

[The bar patrons chase after the truck]

Sonic:
I can't say for sure, but I think they liked me.

Bar patrons:
Come on! Don't let 'em get away!

[Sonic and Tom are now far away from the patrons and they're celebrating their victory with laughs]

Sonic:
Yes!

Tom:
Yeah!

Sonic:
Yes!

Tom:
Ouch! [Holds the side of his face]

Sonic:
He got you pretty good!

Tom:
I'm all right. I've been hit harder.

Sonic:
Did you see how much toilet paper I used?! The next person that goes into that bathroom will have nothing to wipe with!

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