Soul Page #5

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ON THE SCREEN -

In a PYSCHOLOGIST’S OFFICE, GRETA, a troubled teenager, looks

at a Rorschach blot held up by a very different looking DR.

B.RGENSSON.

GRETA:

I see pain, death, destruction!

DR. B.RGENSSON

Hmmm. How about now?

He flips it the other way.

GRETA:

A pretty butterfly.

The audience of Mentors are extremely impressed. Joe forces a

smile.

COUNSELOR JERRY B

Dr. B.rgensson will be matched with

soul number...22!

A spotlight shines on an empty spot.

COUNSELOR JERRY B

(annoyed)

Oh we’re gonna get into this now.

Excuse me.

Impossibly, the Counselor descends into the floor, into

another dimension. As Joe watches the empty stage he hears:

COUNSELOR JERRY B (O.S.)

22, you come out of this dimension

right now!

22 (O.S.)

How many times do I have to tell

you, I don’t wanna go to Earth!

COUNSELOR JERRY B (O.S.)

Stop fighting this, 22. You will go

to Earth and have a life!

22 (O.S.)

Make me!

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--PRIVILEGED AND CONFIDENTIAL

7/17/2020 Soul Academy Draft 26.

OFF-SCREEN we hear the sounds of RUNNING and GRABBING.

Something BREAKS.

Finally, Jerry’s upper half emerges from the other dimension,

wrestling with a soul who doesn’t want to come out.

COUNSELOR JERRY B

22 has been at the You Seminar for

quite some time and has had such

notable mentors as Gandhi, Abraham

Lincoln and Mother Theresa.

Finally, Jerry yanks 22 out of the dimension. 22 struggles in

the Counselor’s arms like a wildcat.

22

HA HA! I made her cry!

COUNSELOR JERRY B

Ignore that.

22

Put me down! Hey! Quit it!

COUNSELOR JERRY B

We’re TRULY glad to have you here,

Dr. B.rgensson. It is an honor

having you prepare 22 for Earth.

The Counselor struggles to hold 22 who melts in his arms like

a belligerent toddler. 22 glares at Joe:

22

I’m gonna make you wish you’d never

died.

COUNSELOR JERRY B

Most people wish that, 22.

The Counselor “drapes” 22 over Joe. Before he can protest,

the Counselor opens a portal and quickly pushes them out.

COUNSELOR JERRY B

Off you go! Bye! Bye!

INT. THE HALL OF YOU.

Joe tosses 22 off.

JOE:

Where are we?

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--PRIVILEGED AND CONFIDENTIAL

7/17/2020 Soul Academy Draft 27.

Joe gawks at the room they are now in --it’s the Hall of Dr.

B.rgensson!

The museum-like displays are filled with pop-up moments of

Dr. B.rgensson’s illustrious life. Glass-encased exhibits

hold artifacts and awards while holograms recreating his

greatest successes play on an endless loop.

22

Okay, look I’m sure your life was amayzing

and you did a-mayzing

things but here’s what we’re gonna

do. We’re gonna stand in here in

silence for a little bit, then we

go back out, you say you tried, I

go back to not-living my non-life

and you go to the Great Beyond.

JOE:

No, look

22

Talk all you want, Bjorn. It’s not

gonna work, anyway. I’ve had

thousands of mentors who failed and

now hate me.

CUT TO:

A SERIES OF FLASHBACKS:

In THE YOU SEMINAR, 22 drives the soul of MOTHER TERESA

crazy:

SOUL MOTHER TERESA

I have compassion for every soul.

Except you. I don’t like you.

CUT TO:

In the HALL OF EVERYTHING, COPERNICUS is furious at 22:

SOUL COPERNICUS:

The world doesn’t revolve around

YOU, 22!

CUT TO:

MUHAMMAD ALI has also had it with 22:

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7/17/2020 Soul Academy Draft 28.

SOUL MUHAMMAD ALI

You are the greatest... pain in the

BUTT!

CUT TO:

In the HALL OF EVERYTHING, the disembodied head of MARIE

ANTIONETTE yells at 22:

SOUL MARIE ANTOINETTE

Nobody can help you! NOBODY!

CUT TO:

BACK IN THE HALL OF DR. B.RGENSSON --22 continues, to Joe:

22

Thanks but no thanks, Doc. I

already know everything about

Earth, and it’s not worth the

trouble.

JOE:

Come on, don’t you want to fill out

your pass?

22

Ehh, you know, I’m comfortable up

here. I have my routine. I float in

mist, I do my Sudoku puzzles, and

then, like, once a week, they make

me come to one of these You

Seminars. It’s not great but I know

what to expect.

JOE:

Look kid. Can I just be honest with

you? I’m not Bjorn Borgenstein or

whatever his name is. I’m not even

a mentor.

22

Not a mentor? Ah, ha ha! Reverse

psychology! You really are a good

shrink doctor. Carl Jung already

tried that.

CUT TO:

FLASHBACK:

At THE YOU SEMINAR, CARL JUNG fights with 22:

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7/17/2020 Soul Academy Draft 29.

SOUL CARL JUNG:

Stop talking! My unconscious mind

hates you!

CUT TO:

BACK IN THE HALL OF DR. B.RGENSSON -

JOE:

Is there any way to show a

different life in this place?

A look of suspicion comes over 22’s face. 22 brings up a

control panel from the ground, takes Joe’s hand, and places

it flat onto a scanner.

All around them, the Dr. B.rgensson exhibits vanish.

After a flourish of light and sound, 22 and Joe find

themselves standing in THE HALL OF JOE. It dawns on 22:

22

Wait, you’re really not Bjorn

B.rgensson?

Joe looks around at the space. Dr. B.rgensson’s awards,

citations, and victorious moments have all been replaced with

elements of Joe’s life.

JOE:

It’s... my life!

The museum displays are comprised of much less inspiring,

more underwhelming exhibits.

22

...umm excuse me. What’s going on

here?

22 points to a display of Binaca Breath Spray and a bottle of

cheap Drakkar Noir cologne.

22

Binaca breath spray? Cheap cologne?

JOE:

Man, who curated this exhibit?

22

Heh. YOU did.

22 walks over to a PHOTO of a TEENAGE JOE, awkwardly standing

behind a keyboard, next to a much hipper THREE-MAN HIP HOP

GROUP.

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--PRIVILEGED AND CONFIDENTIAL

7/17/2020 Soul Academy Draft 30.

22

Hahahahahahah!

Joe is mortified.

JOE:

Oh my goodness, it’s Cedric’s rap

group. Noooo!

Joe pulls 22 away.

JOE:

No, don’t look at that stuff, let’s

look over here!

Joe leads 22 to a HOLOGRAM --a YOUNG JOE is being dragged

into the HALF NOTE JAZZ CLUB by his dad, RAY GARDNER.

YOUNG JOE:

Dad, I don’t wanna go! I don’t like

jazz!

RAY:

Black improvisational music. It's

one of our great contributions to

American culture. At least give it

a chance, Joey!

Joe and 22 watch as Ray brings Young Joe into the club, where

a PIANIST is jamming with his BAND. Young Joe locks in on the

pianist as Joe explains to 22:

JOE:

This is where it all started. This

is the moment where I fell in love

with jazz.

We see Young Joe enthralled by the pianist’s playing.

JOE:

Listen to that! See the tune is

just the starting point, y’get me?

The music is just an excuse to

bring out the YOU.

Joe leads 22 through more of his life.

JOE:

THAT’s why I became a jazz

musician!

But they walk up to a HOLOGRAM of Joe auditioning for an

unimpressed CLUB OWNER.

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--PRIVILEGED AND CONFIDENTIAL

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