Soul Page #7

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FLASHBACK --to 22 talking to her mentor, ABRAHAM LINCOLN:

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7/17/2020 Soul Academy Draft 38.

22

You’re really okay being on a

penny?

LINCOLN:

Of course! It’s an honor.

22

Okay, but... they put Andrew

Jackson on the twenty.

Lincoln angrily explodes, throwing his hat on the ground:

LINCOLN:

JACKSON?!

CUT TO:

BACK TO SCENE:

22

What can I say, Joe? Earth is

boring.

JOE:

Well what else can we do then?

Because we’re running out of time!

22

You know time’s really not a thing

here.

COUNSELOR JERRY B (O.S.)

Time’s up!

A Counselor appears.

COUNSELOR JERRY B

Nice try, Bjorn. But no need to

feel bad. 22 can be a bit of a

challenge.

Jerry pats 22 on the head.

22

Even though I can’t feel it please

don’t touch me.

Ignoring 22, the Counselor opens a portal to the Great Beyond

for Joe:

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7/17/2020 Soul Academy Draft 39.

COUNSELOR JERRY B

So let’s get you to the Great

Beyond.

22

Umm, wait! We forgot to try...uh

breakdancer! Yeah, I think that’s

gonna be my thing. Popping and

locking. Windmills. Settling my

disputes with dance. Can we have

one more minute to go back and try

breakdancing? Please, Jerry? You

look really good today, Jerry.

COUNSELOR JERRY B

Oh, ok. I’ve never seen 22 this

enthused. Good for you, Dr.

B.rgennson!

22 waits for the Counselor to disappear before saying:

22

Run!

22 takes off! Joe follows. She runs to an opened cardboard

box.

22

In here!

INT. CLUBHOUSE.

They emerge inside 22’s secret clubhouse, filled with a

collection of random items from Earth. Joe looks around in

amazement at all the stuff.

Against one wall are thousands of name tags --all former

Mentors of 22.

22 opens a cabinet under a bathroom sink, revealing a

mysterious shaft.

22

Here it is!

JOE:

Where does it lead?

22

Hey, you ask too many questions.

How ‘bout you zip it for a minute,

m’kay?

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7/17/2020 Soul Academy Draft 40.

JOE:

And we’re going there why?

22

Because I know a guy there. A guy

who can help. A guy like YOU.

JOE:

Like me? As in, alive?

22 nods.

JOE:

Wait. Are you actually helping me?

22

Joe. I have been here for who knows

how long, and I’ve never seen

anything that’s made me want to

live. And then you come along. Your

life is sad and pathetic. And

you’re working so hard to get back

to it. Why? I mean this I gotta

see!

JOE:

Okay, let’s go.

They crawl inside the shaft.

EXT. ASTRAL PLANE.

Joe and 22 step onto the Astral Plane. Joe looks around at

the bizarre, amazing landscape.

The glitter-like dust below their feet rises and lowers

gently, like waves on an ocean.

Suspended above them are countless SOULS engrossed in tasks

like playing an instrument, writing, swimming, etc. All are

in the zone.

Joe is in awe.

JOE:

What IS this place?

22

You know how when you humans are

really into something and it feels

like you’re in another place? Feels

like you’re in the zone, right?

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7/17/2020 Soul Academy Draft 41.

JOE:

Yeah.

22

Well, THIS is the zone! It’s the

space between the physical and

spiritual.

Joe gets closer to a soul --a MUSICIAN deep in the music.

JOE:

Wait a minute! I was here! Today

during my audition! This must be

where musicians come when they get

into a flow.

22

Not just musicians. Watch this.

22 picks up some astral dust, packs it into a snowball, and

chunks it at an ACTRESS performing Shakespeare, hitting her

square in the face.

The soul “wakes up.”

SMASH CUT TO:

IN A THEATER --the same ACTRESS, playing Juliet, orates from

a balcony.

JULIET:

Ay me! O' Romeo, Romeo, where for

art thou...

She suddenly “wakes up” from the zone, confused:

JULIET:

Line!

CUT TO:

IN A TATTOO PARLOR --an ARTIST is working on a CLIENT when

22 also “wakes” her from the zone. This causes a unfortunate

SCRATCH across the client’s back with the tattoo needle:

TATTOO ARTIST:

Oops.

CUT TO:

BACK ON THE ASTRAL PLANE:

22 stands near a NEW YORK KNICKS BASKETBALL PLAYER in the

zone, dribbling in for the dunk.

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--PRIVILEGED AND CONFIDENTIAL

7/17/2020 Soul Academy Draft 42.

22

Check this out. I’ve been messing

with this team for decades.

22 throws another snowball, hitting the player just as he

sails through the air.

SMASH CUT TO:

INT. BASKETBALL ARENA.

The KNICKS PLAYER “wakes up” in mid-dunk. The ball slams onto

the rim as he crumbles to the hardwood. The crowd BOOS.

ANNOUNCER (O.S.)

And the Knicks lose ANOTHER one!

BACK TO SCENE:

JOE:

Alright, alright. Where’s this guy

you know? I gotta get back to my

gig.

22

Okay, okay. He’s usually down here.

In the distance they see STRANGE, MONSTROUS BEASTS mumbling

unintelligibly. These are LOST SOULS.

JOE:

What is that!?

22

SHHH!

But too late. One CREATURE spots Joe and 22 and runs at them.

JOE:

Ahhh!

22

Run!

The creature is nearly on them when suddenly a long LASSO

twirls around the beast, bringing it to the ground.

Joe and 22 stand frozen, unsure what to make of this.

DING DING! They see the rope is attached to a massive GALLEY

SHIP with TYE-DIED SAILS blaring Bob Dylan music. It “sails”

towards them through the astral dust.

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--PRIVILEGED AND CONFIDENTIAL

7/17/2020 Soul Academy Draft 43.

An anchor is flung over the side, nearly hitting them.

Aboard the ship a long-haired, eccentric captain looks down

at them. This is MOONWIND. A gangblank is dropped. He bounds

down it to greet them:

MOONWIND:

Ah! Ahoy there fellow Astral

Travelers! Good to see you again,

22!

22

Moonwind! How are ya?

MOONWIND:

On the brink of madness, thanks for

asking!

22

Hey, got a request for ya.

22 nudges Joe forward.

JOE:

Uh yeah. I’m trying to get back to

my body. Can you help me?

MOONWIND:

That’s what we do! We are the

Mystics Without Borders, devoted to

helping the Lost Souls of Earth

find their way! I’m Moonwind

Stardancer at your service.

He introduces his MYSTIC CREW, now coming down the gangplank:

MOONWIND:

That’s Windstar Dreamermoon,

Dancerstar Windmoon, and that’s

Dreamerwind Dreamerdreamer.

JOE:

These weirdos are going to help me

get back?

22

Just wait.

Dancerstar unwraps the now calm Lost Soul from the net.

DANCERSTAR:

Let’s get this lost soul back home.

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7/17/2020 Soul Academy Draft 44.

The Mystics seat the Lost Soul down and begin dancing and

chanting around it. The Lost Soul continues to MUMBLE in

incoherently.

MOONWIND:

Poor fellow. Some people just can’t

let go of their own anxieties and

obsessions, leaving them lost and

disconnected from life. And this is

the result.

(beat)

Looks like another Hedge Fund

Manager.

As the Mystics continue the ceremony, the monstrous Lost Soul

transforms into the soul of a HEDGE FUND MANAGER. The

mumbling turns out to be:

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