Sous le soleil de Satan Page #4

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Does your sin horrify me?

You offended God no more...

...than animals do...

Your only sin was a fetus.

Look inside yourself..

The vice you're so proud

of has died there...

Your heart's filled with self-loathing.

You've found only vain dreams..

You think you've killed a man.

Poor girl!

Later you crawled to a man

baser than the first.

Whom you scorn and who fears you.

You can't escape him;

you told of your crime.

I can't escape him...

Yes, I can.

Whenever I want.

People thought me insane.

I didn't deny it.

I was waiting to be ready.

You never will be.

Think you're free?

Only God could free you.

Your life repeats other lives,

all alike.

Lived like troughs where

cattle feed.

Your actions betray your heredity.

God lets me see those

from whom you spring.

Truly...I have seen you in them,

them in you.

All those faces blend into

the face of vice.

Their actions become an act of murder.

Evil everywhere,

that's your generation.

Hundreds of men and women

linked by the same cancer...

You saw yourself in your family,

as one of the herd.

Nothing you've done

was not done before.

No thought, that wasn't already

buried with the dead.

Only age-old actions.

Not similar; exactly alike.

Not repeated; unique!

You feel the vast deceit

of your life?

You hear the laughter

of your deceiver?

Your wretched ancestors have

claimed you as their own.

And you surrender all.

You're feeding them your own life.

What can you do?

They've left...

...their sins in your child's heart.

Back already?

Made a fool of myself again:

I got lost.

You reached Etaples too late?

Confession was over?

There's more to it...

Arrive late, alright,

but not get there at all...?

What will they say?

Too bad. I'll write to Etaples tonight.

I didn't lose my way.

I took the main road

and left it only briefly.

By going straight ahead,

I couldn't miss it, even at night.

I didn't get there.

Even stranger...worse...

an ordeal awaited me.

Go on.

God twice let me see

through a body to the soul.

Not by ordinary means, but...

by a special grace...

Which you see as a miracle?

I think so.

Report it to your bishop.

I've awaited a supernatural

sign of God's plan for you.

The sign has come.

Now I'm more puzzled than ever;

the sign is ambiguous...

the miracle isn't pure.

There's more.

I met Germaine Malorthy...

I had a vision...

a certainty...that she...

...killed the Marquis de Cadignan.

Her only consolation is to revisit

the places she can't forget...

the silent walls where

her mute witness waits...

She confessed it all.

Harsher ordeals are in store for her.

She's desperate...

It may outweigh her remorse...

If you've misjudged

and harmed that girl...

what an awful responsibility!

I can't let you behave

like that in the parish.

I can't trust you!

We must follow the infallible

word and no other!

Did you help her?

That you, Germaine?

It's me, Mother.

Cousin Georges took me to Viel...

on his way to market.

At this time of day?

He had a load of pigs...

so I got a lift part-way.

You had no dinner.

I'll make coffee.

I'm tired, I just want to sleep.

Let me be.

You're a lunatic!

What have you done?

Do something!

What have you done?

I tried to restore her to God...

Are you responsible...?

What's happened?

I tried to restore her to God...

Bringing a dying girl to the altar...

a relic from the past.

Father Donissan

will enter the Trappist monastery.

Later we'll find a suitable

parish for him.

You baffle me.

I'm used to wisdom from you.

Wisdom is the vice of the old.

Here's the "Imitation of Christ"

with your annotations...

You made it yours.

Soon there'll be no way

I can help you.

No! I'll remember you even

in Satan's arms.

I didn't teach you blasphemy.

That wasn't blasphemy.

I was shown man's misery

and Satan's power for a reason.

You began with too

much self-mortification.

You threw yourself into the ministry!

You were pleased with yourself.

You should have found peace.

You haven't.

God never refuses peace.

You're rejecting it.

I suspect you've made

some dangerous vow.

I've made no vow...no promise..

barely a wish...

It's poisoning your heart.

You like that picture, no?

Very much.

So many souls possessed by sin...

that enraged me.

To save them, I offered all I had...

My life, first...it's not much...

My salvation, if God wants it.

You risk damnation by straying

from the path, as you've done.

The spirit of evil

has entered your life.

Fools ignore such things, some priests

daren't utter Satan's name!

Inner life today

is a battlefield of instincts.

Morality? Hygiene of the senses.

Temptation is a mere carnal appetite.

People want only

what's pleasant and useful...

There's nothing for a saint

in such a world...or he's called mad!

Are we truly so wretched?

You're surely not meant for a cloister

Your retreat will be a time of better

trial and moral loneliness.

It will last longer than you think.

Hope is almost dead in you!

You'll be alone on your chosen road!

I didn't ask for that!

Let me live and die in humility!

What was begun here

will not be finished!

We'll miss you.

You weren't born to please. The world

hates your taste for strength...

Will you ever vanquish the distrust,

pity, and opposition...

of others? They'll never

let go of you.

Who'll stop me from being

what I was?

I attract no attention.

I've the reputation I deserve.

If you let me,

I could pass unnoticed...

Unnoticed!

God's work in us is seldom

what we expect.

He seems to get things wrong,

to waste time.

God wears us down!

How old I feel!

And how...unsuited for it...

I'll never learn to be old!

Poor pastor of Lumbres...

He's good for nothing!

So many nights like last night,

until the final night!

I can no longer love.

Does my life have a meaning?

Never any rest...

They've pushed me to the brink...

Beyond it...silence,

true silence!

To die...

In the parlor, Father...

It's Mr. Havret, about his sick son.

Which one?

Father, I've come to get you.

Since last night my son's

been paralyzed.

The doctor said

there's no hope; meningitis!

My wife begged me to come for you

We must go, Father.

It's not my parish.

You've a priest at Luzarnes.

I'm touched that Mrs. Havret thought

of me...poor woman!!

Let's go.

Marthe! I have to go to Luzarnes.

Not on an empty stomach...

I'll make coffee.

Stay, Father, don't leave us!

Pierre!

I'm ashamed.

Forgive this poor woman's ignorance.

I have great esteem for you.

Pray for me!

Don't tempt me!

Let's go out.

I can't go on...

I'm a poor priest...

...a wretched blind man...

Don't say that...

Your imagination, fatigue...

Why'd I leave her...?

What greater pain than the death

of a child? Nothing's worse.

As I stood before her, I thought...

What?

Nothing...

Only that inner voice...

I knew... I still know..

I'm sure that a word

from me would have...

revived...

that dead child...

Look at me, answer me frankly...

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