Southland Tales Page #8

Wonder of the World...

Treer MegaZeppelin!

Did you retrieve the DVD

from Deep Throat Two?

Affirmative, Cyndi.

I'm going to be going live

with three tales

from the Southland this evening.

How long will the website be active

before USIDent

can route in and shut it down?

Are you kidding me?

Who are you talking to?

Don't worry your

pretty little head over it.

You go enjoy the rest

of the party. I'm out.

To be honest...

we're just looking out

for the n*ggers.

This is my deal now...

Santaros.

More than a hundred thousand

people have gathered

to be at the largest block party

in the history of Los Angeles.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club.

Farewell, one and only beloved.

I cannot write anymore,

or my head will be

all in a whirl, and...

Adieu, adieu my sweetheart.

Jenny.

You try so hard to be heard

You try so hard to not hurt

I give you nothing to doubt,

and you doubt me

I'll give you all that I have,

but you don't see

Now I know

that my eyes must close here

Every word seems to feel

like you don't care

But I know that

you're so confused and afraid

I just want to be one true thing

that don't fade

I don't want to give up tomorrow

I just can't understand

why we're going on

Thank you.

I don't wanna be sad

I don't wanna be scared

I don't wanna be sad

I don't wanna be scared

I don't wanna be sad

I don't wanna be scared

I don't wanna be sad

I don't wanna be scared

I don't wanna be sad

I don't wanna be scared

I don't' wanna be sad

I don't wanna be scared

Mr. Boxer Santaros

has arrived.

Excellent.

How does it end?

A handshake.

I had a dream last night

that you died.

Mr. Santaros.

Your presence

is requested in the Marx Suite.

Alone.

I'm not going to die.

...he was on fire.

The surrounding stores,

you could see people running

in and out of the broken windows.

What is going on...

And there's another...

another explosion just took off

down... right down there

off of Third Street.

Revelation 22...

"Very soon now

shall I be with you again...

"bringing the reward

to be given to every man

according to what he deserves. "

Mr. Santaros,

welcome to the Marx Suite.

Now, Simon says

lower your sidearm, please.

Are you just deaf

or willfully stupid?

I told you to lower

that f***ing sidearm!

And there you go.

Well, come on in.

They're trying to rig the election.

California is too close to call.

All... all right, sweetheart,

whatever you say.

Why isn't she here?

She won't leave her post.

It is time for a surgical strike.

I can smell you

from down the hall.

No. Not now, Dennis.

The Neo-Marxists

have infiltrated USIDent.

She has to leave there immediately.

It's okay. She has

everything under control.

We need to get her out of there.

There are thousands, probably

tens of thousands of protesters

all up and down the street

and spreading out

into the surrounding arteries

coming in

toward the downtown area.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I give you the Treer MegaZeppelin.

The project was called

Serpentine Dream Theory.

The Tidal Generator

within Utopia Three

has achieved

simulated perpetual motion.

The impact of this achievement

has slowed the acceleration

of the planet to such a degree

that certain environmental anomalies

have started to surface.

One of these anomalies,

discovered earlier this year,

was a rift in the fourth dimension.

A rift in the fabric of space-time...

half a kilometer wide.

Located on the outskirts

of Lake Mead.

Yes, Mr. Santaros.

Just like you imagined

in your screenplay.

And what did we do

once we discovered a rift

in the fourth dimension?

We launched monkeys into it.

Only a human subject

could survive that jaunt.

The soul of a monkey

can't survive

the dimensional threshold.

So we learned,

at which point the Baron decided

that the first human subject

to travel through the rift

would be a movie star.

Why me?

Your celebrity

and your political ties

proved an irresistible combination.

As the satellite photos show,

at approximately 10:51 a. M...

and this is 69 minutes

before you passed through the rift...

a duplicate Boxer Santaros

appeared.

You traveled 69 minutes

back in time, sir,

at which point your future self...

and your past self

confronted one another.

So I'm my future self.

And I'm the dude

who traveled through the rift.

And this is all that's left

of your past self.

This body, this artifact,

this dual existence

of a single human soul

could unlock the secret of creation,

the secret of humankind.

I don't understand.

I've never considered

committing suicide.

I'm a pimp.

And pimps don't commit suicide.

We don't know what would happen

if two identical human souls

and the vessels that they travel in

were to come into immediate

close contact with one another.

Indy 103.1... the independent FM.

Fourth of July weekend...

Where did you get this?

Pilot Abilene.

Pilot Abilene?

Do you bleed?

You can fly so bloody

What happened

in Fallujah was an accident.

They called it friendly fire,

and Private Taverner

could not forgive himself

for what he had done to me.

Yo, dog, where are we headed?

Somewhere downtown.

We have to go downtown.

He's in an ice cream truck.

Wow, I can feel it.

There is automatic weapon fire,

we understand,

down on the ground,

and we just heard...

...the power and the kingdom

of your God...

Yo, dog, I'm going

to empty out my account...

take everything I got.

Neat.

Welcome

to the Rove Credit Union.

Please have

your USIDent card ready

in order to make your transaction.

...is the promise

in the Word of God!

Welcome,

Martin Kefauver, welcome.

Martin Kefauver,

welcome, welcome, welcome...

Kefauver and card ready...

Yo, dog, it says... it says

"transaction denied," dog.

Yo, what... what do I do?

We're going to take

the ATM machine with us to Mexico.

Ladies and gentlemen,

please rise for the national anthem.

I give you Rebekah Del Rio.

...whose broad stripes

and bright stars

Through the perilous fight

O'er the ramparts we watched

were so gallantly streaming

And the rockets'red glare

The bombs bursting in air

Gave proof through the night

That our flag was still there

Oh, say, does that

star-spangled banner

Yet wave?

O'er the land of the free

And the home of the brave

We've got a perimeter breach

at Caltrans Building.

I repeat,

we've got a perimeter breach.

Die, you f***ing pig!

Uh-oh, wait.

Apparently we've lost

contact with Sky Cam.

As you could see

just before we lost the picture,

a lot of people downtown,

a lot of activity,

all kinds of problems.

- Please stay indoors.

- Stay inside.

And, you know, we're getting

information that the Neo-Marxist...

You know.

You know exactly what happened

out in the desert.

Who did the Baron hire

to kidnap me?

And who drove me

through the time rift?

You haven't figured that out yet?

What is his name?

Officer Roland Taverner.

Officer Roland Taverner.

How are you?

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