Space Station 76 Page #7

Correct.

What are you thinking

in the midst of this silence?

Actually, I was thinking about smoking.

Cigarettes contain

carcinogens which may

cause cancer

in carbon-based life forms.

Right.

You are a carbon-based life form,

therefore, cigarettes may cause

cancer inside you.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Can I smoke?

May I smoke here, please?

Perhaps you'd like to try Valium?

Smoking is kind of my Valium,

so honest...

They are two entirely different drugs.

Nicotine is a stimulant.

Valium is a sedative.

Is it?

Yes, it is.

I was not aware of that.

Captain Glenn, how have things

been on the ship for you?

Status quo.

We're having a Christmas party

for the people on the ship.

Dr. Bot politely declines your invitation.

It's humans only,

so that's really a non-issue. Okay?

Anyway,

I'm supposed to be pretending

that these people are my friends when...

You have to be a friend

to have a friend.

They're not friends. They are colleagues.

A friend in need is a friend indeed.

Friend.

Make new friends.

Keep the old, for one is silver

while the other one is gold.

Gold.

Remember the golden rule:

"Do unto others as you

would have them do unto you."

Silver.

Every cloud has a silver lining.

[LAUGHS]

Cigarette.

Cigarettes contain carcinogens

which may cause cancer

in carbon-based life forms.

You are a carbon-based life form,

therefore cigarettes

may cause cancer inside you.

Hmm.

[]

You're gonna make us late for the party.

Where were you?

I was just finishing up some business.

You ready?

Yes.

SHIP:

Autopilot activated.

[SIGHS]

Hey, there he is.

WOMAN:
Donna.

Hi, Susan.

Oh. I thought you'd left.

Can't pass up a Christmas party.

Uh-huh. Well, enjoy.

Hey.

Hi.

How are you?

Good. How you doing?

Could I get you something, or?

Oh, um, I...

Oh.

Um...

[CHUCKLES]

I will have another.

All right.

Thank you.

[OVER SPEAKERS]

Jingle bells, jingle bells

Jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride

In a one-horse open sleigh

Hmm. There's no cake.

There's a cake.

Yeah, it is a Christmas cake.

Have a drink, Donna.

In a one-horse open sleigh

He laughed as there I sprawling lie

And quickly drove away

Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells

Jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride

In a one-horse open sleigh

Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells

Jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride

In a one-horse open sleigh

You know, my mom... Heh-heh.

My best... I'm sorry.

What were you saying?

My mom always had...

This is really boring.

Let's play a game.

I thought we left Sunshine

back in the capsule.

[ALL CHUCKLE]

Let's play a game. Come on.

What kind of game do you want to play?

Um...

Okay, everybody goes around

and tells a secret.

Oh, I don't like secret games.

I don't know about that.

Yeah, I don't really have any secrets.

Oh, I have a secret.

I'm gonna get a beer really quick.

Can you get me one too, please?

Yeah.

Oh, I want him to hear my secret.

Ted, come back here please.

We'd like to get this over with.

We're going.

Oh, no, honey, come on.

I wanna play.

I love games, but maybe charades.

Something we can all play together.

I'm leaving. You coming?

Honey, you're being silly.

What's wrong, Steve?

It's just a game.

Okay.

[GIGGLES]

[MUSIC STOPS]

Okay.

My secret is

I have never had an orgasm.

Um, I don't think that...

Well, yeah, that really is probably

more his secret.

[CHUCKLES]

Heh. That's good. No,

that's a good one. That's... Yeah.

You know what, we shouldn't...

No, no, it's okay. It's okay.

Good game, Misty.

Yeah, you got everybody

gathered around in here.

Come on, anything else

you want to say to me?

Look at me! Look at me, please.

You got something you wanna say,

say it. I am ready to hear it.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa.

GLENN:
Ted, settle down.

[]

JESSICA:

It's okay.

She has a secret too.

Don't.

Misty.

Why don't you tell everyone

your secret.

Look, let's not... Please, let's not play

this game anymore.

It's not funny.

I know why you wanna stop.

You know why? Because I don't like you.

That's my secret.

[LAUGHS]

That's not a secret.

I don't like you, either.

Shut up, Misty.

Ted, it's okay.

Now, Ted, honestly,

that is no way to talk to a lady.

Yeah, you would know.

Uh, yes, I would.

You would know. Yeah.

Ted, Ted, Ted.

Does anybody ever wonder why

she always has to act like a man?

Stop. Let's stop now...

Why she's always up on the bridge

acting like a man.

JESSICA:
Stop.

I would like to know that.

Okay, Misty, drop this right now

because it's really not funny.

Maybe it's because

she's not a real woman.

Misty.

Maybe she's not

a real woman because

she can't have...

Stop it!

Enough!

Whoa! Okay, just back off.

You don't need to scream at her.

Sir, this is none of your business.

It's none of my business?

I'm just the captain of the ship.

It's none of my business. That's perfect!

I understand...

I don't care if it's the main room,

main bridge, rec room,

playroom, toilet room,

it's my business!

I don't care if it's irrigation duct

level f***ing 7! It's my f***ing business!

Your attitude since

you've shown up here

has been to tell me what to do, how

to do it, with a chip on your shoulder!

Why can't you just be a woman?

Why can't you just be a man?!

What does that mean?

Excuse me, forgive me, sir,

but you are the last person

I'd think would be demanding

we should stick to conventions.

I have no idea

what you're talking about.

Sir, you're gay!

You are a gay man and we all know it.

He's what?

[TAPE REWINDING]

JESSICA [ON RECORDING]: Sir, you're gay!

You are a gay man and we all know it.

Now, how could...?

Uh, you can't know something...

You can't... Like that. That's...

Something like that is not...

It's not true. Daniel and I were never...

We are not together.

We weren't together. There's...

Ask him.

He will tell you! I promise.

I only stay with you

because of Sunshine.

Do you know that?

Yeah.

I know that.

[CRASHING]

[]

SHIP:

Alert.

[ALARM BEEPING]

Alert.

Alert.

[]

[GASPS]

[]

[ALL CHATTERING]

[DOOR OPENS]

[WATER DRIPPING]

[]

DANIEL [ON RECORDING]:

I need you to make love to me, Glenn.

I need you to make love to me, Glenn.

I need you to make love to me, Glenn.

I need you to make love to me, Glenn.

I need you to make love to me, Glenn.

I need you to make...

SHIP:
Tape erased.

Hello?

Sunshine?

[CLEARS THROAT]

[SIGHS]

[]

SHIP:

Warning, reducing gravity in five,

four, three,

two, one.

[]

[]

It was late last night

I was feeling something wasn't right

There was not another sight

Only you

Then you gazed up at me

And the answer was plain to see

'Cause I saw the light

In your eyes

In your eyes

Though we had our fling

I just would never would

Suspect a thing

Till that little bell began to ring

In my head

In my head

But I tried to run

Though I knew

It wouldn't help me none

'Cause I couldn't ever love no one

Or so I said

'Cause my feelings for you

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