Spaced Invaders

Where is the admiral?

He summoned us here.

The admiral's tour of duty has ended.

What of the admiral?

He has been subjected to

disciplinary termination.

I have assumed command.

This battle group has

consistently suffered...

the greatest casualties of

any attack force in the fleet.

His Imperial Majesty has sent me...

to take controi of our

attack on the Arcturus system.

To insure our success, all ships...

have been equipped with

enforcer drones to remove...

weak links in the command.

Any deviation from the invasion pian...

- will result in disciplinary review.

- Outrageous!

The tide of battie

can change in seconds.

I'll not send my boys

to Arcturus with...

an enforcer drone

breathing down my neck!

- I wlli!

- Me, too. No probiem.

Whoa!

- Good morning.

- Morning.

Russell, anybody need a

sheriff whlle I was gone?

Most folks don't know we've got one.

I llke it. What are you up to?

I'm set up by the new off-ramp.

- What for?

- I'm gonna catch Big Bean's 1 st speeder.

At ieast I know where to

forward your Christmas present.

Ho-ho-ho.

- Excuse me!

- You're excused.

What's the probiem?

Nothing these 2 barrels can't solve.

Why don't you give me the gun?

'Cause I'm a crazy old man.

I'm as llkeiy to biow

you out of your socks...

as give you the time of day.

What do you think of that?

It'd be a damn shame to

shoot it out with you.

I suppose it wouid.

I was just gonna scare him.

You scared me.

Here.

What's going on with you

and the farmer's trust?

This here is what's going on.

Look at it. Look there and there.

All right. Let me read it, okay?

Go ahead. Nobody can do

anything about that, no way.

That's true.

- Ciambaker!

- That's Kiembecker.

Steve W. Kiembecker, president

of the farmer's trust.

Farmer's trust! My Aunt Suzy's rear end!

One of the forward-thinking

businessmen...

who convinced the councll

we needed a new sheriff.

We never needed a sheriff...

untll you showed up, you crook!

Hoid it. Wait.

Did you send this ietter?

I belleve that's my

signature right there.

I'm afraid the party's over?

The party's over. That's correct.

As per Mr. Wrenchmuller's

ioan agreement...

the credit union has legal

right to assume control...

of the property tomorrow at noon...

uniess he can come up with the

cash or a crop to sign over.

Nobody's got a crop.

There's nothing you can

do with the property...

- until next season anyway.

- Sheriff Hoxiey.

Sheriff Hoxiey, you're new here.

Let me clue you in.

You see, we have direct

highway access now...

and the opportunity to turn

this town into a metropolis.

Uniess you've got the money

to pay off overdue ioans...

maybe you shouid stick

to the kind of calls...

we hired you to handie...

llke keeping vagrants off the street.

If you would?

We'll deal with this in the morning...

at the courthouse.

Come on, Mr. Wrenchmuller.

Aren't you kinda big for a boy scout?

I can take care of myseif.

Happy Halloween, Big Bean.

[ Alarm Buzzers ]

The Arcturians have destroyed the fleet.

I've sent a distress signal...

to all ships across the gaiaxy.

We're headed into their sun

and are about to explode!

I have not yet begun to fight.

Now would be a great time to start!

[ Screaming ]

How was school today?

Okay.

How was sheriffing? Okay.

You really don't like

it here, do you, Kathy?

Everything was starting

to get back to normai.

- Then we just decide to move.

- It's a good job.

- There's nothing to do.

- There's trick or treat.

You're sending me

with kids I don't know.

Somebody's got to keep the streets safe.

From what? Cows?

Do we have any Krazy giue?

Um, I think it's in that box.

- What's the matter?

- Everyone's gonna show up dressed llke...

scarecrows, pigs, and ciowns and stuff.

So?

I'm not sure Big Bean

is ready for allens.

[ Radio Announcer ] Achoo!

Sorry about that folks.

This being Halloween night...

I thought it'd be fun to

dust off an old favorite...

from the golden days of radio.

50 years ago tonight, Orson Welles...

gave a depressed nation a few hours...

of desperateiy needed fun.

Things being the way

they are these days...

we couid sure use a llttie of that.

So, Big Bean...

just for tonight...

forget your woes and have a good time.

[ Record ] The Columbia Broadcasting

System and its affiliated stations...

present Orson Welles and

the Mercury Theatre...

in "the War of the Worlds. "

Ladies and gentlemen...

the director and star of

these broadcasts, Orson Welles.

[ Orson Welles ] We know now in the

early years of the 20th century...

this world was being watched

closely by intelligences...

greater than man's, yet

as mortal as his own.

We know that as humans

busied themselves...

about their various concerns...

they were scrutinized and studied...

perhaps almost as narrowly

as a man with a microscope...

might scrutinize the

transient creatures...

that swarm and multiply

in a drop of water.

With infinite complacence...

people went about

their little affairs...

serene in the assurance

of their dominion...

over this small, spinning

fragment of solar driftwood...

which by chance or design...

man has inherited out of the

dark mystery of time and space.

Yet, across an immense ethereal gulf...

minds that are to our minds...

as ours are to the

beasts in the jungle...

intellects vast, cool

and unsympathetic...

regarded this Earth with envious eyes...

and slowly and surely drew

their plans against us.

Hey, I heard a distress signai.

Patroi ship X-5-9-Y-P-Q

to Battie Group 7, come in.

It's like the fleet disappeared!

Maybe it's interference.

Get us outta the rocks.

We're aimost ciear. Okay...

hit it!

[ Radio Signal Beeps ]

[ Orson Welles ] Ladies and

gentlemen, I have a grave announcement.

Both the observations of science...

and the evidence of our eyes...

lead to the inescapable assumption...

that those beings who landed

in theJersey Farmlands...

are the vanguard of an

invading army from Mars.

[ Shouting And Laughter]

I remember when they first played that.

You remember pterodactyls.

I remember you fell for that...

hook, line, and sinker.

- I did not.

- You did so.

You put a big bucket on your head...

and took off with them

army boys to fight Martians.

Ain't you dead yet?

Can't I stay with you and fight crime?

I'll see you at the Spookiuck dinner.

Give us a kiss.

That's my giri.

I shouid have come as a wedge of cheese.

I'm probabiy the oniy

allen for a billion miles.

[ Laughter]

[ Orson Welles ]... Martians

visible above treetops moving north.

Hi, Mom...

Dad.

Weicome to another thrllllng,

true-llfe episode of...

Russell Pillsbury, Deputy Sheriff.

I'm parked...

by Big Bean's new off-ramp...

and wlli soon be giving the

city's 1 st speeding ticket.

Who will be the lucky winner?

[ Laughter]

We gotta get us some money...

or they're gonna kick us out of here.

Then we'll have to llve

with my sister Marge...

and her poodie.

- Arf!

- Yeah.

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