Spaced Invaders Page #2

[ Whimpering ]

Why did I have to go and get oid?

[ Laughter]

[ Beeping ]

It's 8:
15 P.M., October 31 st.

I've just been aierted to a

speed vioiation in progress.

Watch now as I teach this automotive scofflaw

a lesson in motor-vehicular responsibility.

Nobody gets away...

with going 3,000

M.P.H. In a 55...

[ Gasp ]

Don't s'pose we'll ever see...

a night quite llke that again.

- Not llkeiy.

- Nope, nope.

[ Clatter ]

[ Lady ] I'll get the bucket.

[ Crash ]

Damn.

Termites are munching...

on our barn.

We're gonna have to do

something before they ruin it.

Come on,Jim.

[ Engine Sputtering ]

Who taught you to drive, you moron!

Nice ianding, Biaznee.

Are we there? Is this it?

Kids, 3-D and driving just don't mix.

Weicome to Earth.

Enjoy it whlle it iasts.

Are you sure this is where the fleet is?

You heard the Earthllng's

pathetic radio broadcast.

Lookout for that heat ray.

Heip us. We're gonna die.?

[ Wicked Laugh ]

They got that

right. Hee-hee-hee.

Biaznee, this is the piace. We're here.

Let's start enjoying ourseives!

Let's maneuver cioser to the action.

Strafe the iocai

citizenry before we iand.

Sorry. No can do.

- Why not?

- Let's see.

We got a torqued-out digiframus.

Our megaspazz redundancy

plle is on the bllnk.

It iooks llke we bruised our boo-boo.

He's making the whoie iast

bit up. There's no such thing!

Coward!

Heh-heh-heh.

Let's kick some Earthllng butt!

Finally, a reai mission.

Maybe we better think this over, huh?

Good-bye, civllian asteroid patroi.

Hello, atomic space navy.

The fleet was supposed

to be attacking Arcturus.

The pian to attack Arcturus...

was obviously a clever decoy...

for the reai operation: the totai

annihllation of all things human.

Now, quit raining on our parade!

But why?

Why wouid Mars want to attack...

the puny, insignificant forces of Earth?

Because we win!

Prepare to die, Earth scum!

Where is everybody? Blowing

up all the good stuff.

Come on.

I think we brought the wrong gun.

It certainly is green here.

Perhaps our camouflage is inappropriate.

Come on,Jim.

[ Beeping ]

Just for the record...

I'm llstening.

I thought this was a bad idea.

Just for the record,

you'd better hope not.

May,June...

July, August...

15, 18!

They're Martians!

I knew it!

Jim, it iooks as if me and you...

is the Earth's only hope.

That's kinda sad, ain't it?

I guess it's better to die...

a horribie, agonizing

death defending the Earth...

than to wither away...

with Marge and her poodie.

[ Growl ]

That's the spirit!

We got work to do.

- What do you make of it, Doctor?

- It's iong, flat...

and has yellow lines. That

can only mean one thing.

- A mine fieid?

- A country road.

That's what they want us to think.

One faise move and kaboom!

You'll go home in more

pieces than you arrived.

Corporai Pez?

- What?

- See if we can get across.

- Why don't we go around?

- Move!

I'm going home in a bag!

It's aiways the corporai

that gets biown up first.

Dr. Zipiock, anything in

the worid-domination kit...

- to help us?

- Let's see.

This iooks interesting.

- Don't touch that!

- Excuse me!

Hit the dirt!

- What?

- Get down, stupid!

What in the name of

Uncie Martin is that?

Scout-in-a-can.

smart, efficient...

easy to use, and it's expendable!

Mine fieid, indeed! What a

bunch of twinkie stuffing!

Lt. Giggywig, you give

these simpie Earthllngs...

far too much credit.

Capt. Bipto?

What happened?

Some kind of secret weapon

came out of nowhere...

and took Capt. Bipto to his doom!

[ Muttering ]

Come back, Earth scum!

Wlli there be anything eise, senor?

Couid you get the windshieid, piease?

It wouid be my pieasure.

Who are you supposed to be?

I am...

Ei Zorro!

See Kathy sit. See Kathy sit aione.

See Kathy grow cobwebs

and fossllize in boredom.

Our first target. Think

I can hit it from here?

- Wait a minute.

- Let's shoot something aiready.

Shh.

Wow! That's the best allen

costume I've ever seen!

Thanks.

I llke yours, too.

My mom made it.

She went to a iot of troubie.

- What are you supposed to be?

- I'm a duck!

- Who died and ieft you in charge?

- Capt. Bipto!

I'm Kathy.

Brian Hampton. Nice to meet you.

Where did a nice giri llke you...

iearn how to make something so...

mind-numbingiy terrifying?

- I spent time with my

uncie this summer. -Uh-huh.

- He works in the movies making

zombies and monsters. - Uh-huh.

- I wanted to stay and

work for him, - Uh-huh.

- but I had to come here

with my dad. - Uh-huh.

Where's your mom?

She died iast May.

Gee, I'm sorry.

That's too bad.

So...

it's just you and your dad, huh?

Yeah, and some goidfish.

If you ever need a llttie brother...

just give me a call.

All right, you two, it's time to go.

Come on!

[ Giggie ] How cute!

How... ioveiy.

Vern, hurry it up!

I've got a coid beer and a hot woman...

and I'm trying to keep 'em that way.

- Mr. Kiembecker, flli it up?

- Yeah and get the windows.

Warm enough, sweet cheeks?

[ Car Radio ] Darling, come back to me

I'm as lonesome as can be

I'm as jumpy as a bug

I'm as perky as a slug

Honey darling, come back to me

When you left home

- I wrote a little poem

- Hi, Dody.

But it don't help me 'cause I can't read

Honey darling, come back to me

I'm as lonesome as can be

What are you supposed to be?

Oh, nothing...

just Zorro.

Zorro's got a hat, you dope!

Mr. Kiembecker, iooks

llke you hit something.

Ciean that up!

Oh, man!

Get that off of there!

That ain't gonna work!

Here, use this.

When's my Caddy gonna be done?

You can pick it up tomorrow.

Good! It better be ciean.

It's ciean.

I pollshed it up llke you said to.

Yuck.

That's 13 gallons...

at $1.10 a gallon...

- that'll be... - Catch

you later, okay, pal?

Yes, Mr. Klembecker...

you... butthead!

You take the ieft flank,

I'll take the right.

You always get the right flank.

We've never done this before, idiot!

- What's with the happy sounds?

- They're giddy with fear.

- Look!

- Get back. Lock and ioad.

- They're shorter than I thought.

- Let's take 'em out.

[ Dr. Ziplock ] What if hey

come in small, medium and large!

- How cute!

- Wow, a dinosaur!

You're all alike!

Prepare to die, Earth scum!

[ Giggie ] Maybe later. Have fun. Huh?

- What? Come back.

- Kids, all aboard.

That's something...

you don't see every day.

- What now, O mighty ieader?

- Klli them!

Kill them!

I said,?prepare to die, Earth scum!?

- [ Sigh ]

- Oh, now you've got her.

Yep, she's definiteiy

terrified. Oh, boy.

Boys.

[ Alien ] Wait a minute.

Atomize her aiready.

What's your probiem?

Shouidn't this human be

quivering in terror...

at our menacing,

sinister-iooking weaponry?

- You'd think so.

- Everybody, move over.

Make room

for the...

- Just piay aiong.

- What are we?

Martians!

Of course you are. Well, get in.

Perhaps if we ride in this transport...

we can find their secret

resistance headquarters.

Let's shoot our way out.

- It'll be fun.

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