Spaced Invaders Page #3

Synopsis: When one saucer of an invasion force has engine trouble, it lands on Earth. It happens to be Halloween and it happens the invaders are only about 4 feet tall. As the bumbling aliens wander around the countryside they are taken to be children and they make friends with two children, one of whom is the daughter of the sheriff. As their troubles mount (it's difficult for five aliens to conquer a world) they begin to give up their plans of conquest, but then there is that nasty killer robot.
Production: Touchstone Pictures
 
IMDB:
5.3
Rotten Tomatoes:
8%
PG
Year:
1990
100 min
265 Views


- Shh. They don't know we're Martians.

Not know?

We're llttie green men with antennas.

They think we're wearing costumes.

What a bunch of morons!

Let's flame these bozos.

They're too stupid to llve!

We have a full tank of

gas and iots of empty bags.

- What shall we do?

- [ Kids ] Trick or treat?

- Smell my feet.

- Oh, gross!

- Oh, great.

- Trick or what?

I'm sick and tired...

of that oid jerk, Kiembecker...

pushing everyone around. That's it.

I'm gonna finish the

pians for this farmzoid.

Someday I'll be abie to

irrigate every fieid...

and make all the farms heaithy again.

Then I'll pick up that

farmer's trust of his...

and drop-kick it into the next county.

He thinks he's such a hotshot.

This wlli work, I think. [ Gasp ]

Heh-heh-heh.

[ Laughing ]

Mr. Kiembecker,

it iooks llke...

Dody.

Do-o-o-dy.

[ Ding, Ding ]

Wait! You are my robot siave.

- You wlli follow my every command.

- Yes, Capt. Bipto.

However, my new allegiance...

to His Imperial Majesty

might come to light...

if I negiect my reguiar patrons.

We must keep up the appearance...

of a normally functioning,

fuel-dispensing depot...

whlle we act as undercover agents...

of Mars.

[ Car Horn ]

I wlli be right back.

Weicome to the Gas King,

fuei-dispensing depot.

How may I be of assistance?

Capt. Bipto to the invasion force.

Capt. Bipto to the invasion force.

Hmm?

Oh-oh-oh.

I can't contact the ship

or the invasion force.

I can oniy assume the worst.

We must bulld an attack vehicie;

something that wlli strike terror...

into whomever sets eyes upon it...

something with huge wheeis...

so we can crush the panicking popuiace.

Something from which I can

overiook the battiefieid...

and direct our

victorious invasion force.

[ Vern ] Something like this?

I was thinking of

something a bit iarger.

[ Martian Taik ]

Those guys are definiteiy not from here.

- No kidding! Look.

- Hey!

I know what I'm getting for Christmas.

- Give him here.

- Lighten up.

It's just a stupid toy.

You're not a toy at all, are you?

I hope you're making him move llke that.

[ Mother] All right, first stop.

Everybody got their bags?

Remember, look both ways

before crossing the street.

So that's the trick.

If oniy Capt. Bipto had known.

I wonder what Kiembecker's

gonna give us this year.

I hope it's not dead rats.

My mom had a cow iast time.

What?

Trick or treat?

Yeah. I forgot.

Hoid on.

Here's one for you.

One for you. Plenty to go around.

Cigarettes?

Okay, forget it!

[ Wacky Martian Music ]

[ Crash ]

Hello? Hello?

Well, well, well...

what have we here?

Damn. He must be some kind of...

health-food nut.

We're gonna make...

a bezllllon dollars out of this story...

and 2 bezllllon on the pictures.

[ Click ] Damn!

The flash don't work,Jim.

Where are we gonna get batteries...

at this time of night?

We gotta hurry.

There's no telling what them...

wlly space creatures wlli be up to.

[ Vern ] The smell of

battery acid makes me thirsty.

With all their advanced technoiogy...

iook at the pitifui conveyances...

- the puny Earth peopie construct.

- Oh, dear.

This one empioys a mere 250 horsepower.

Our attack vehicie

wlli cause their eyes...

to shoot out of their heads in fear.

Hurry! Who knows what

unspeakabie terrors...

have befallen my troops?

Wow! What a haui! This is great!

- This kid's gonna barf.

- Are you gonna barf?.

I think he's gonna barf, Mom.

- Sit down!

- If he barfs, your hairdo's history.

Do I know you boys?

They're on to us. We

gotta get outta here.

- I'd llke an answer.

- Have I got an answer!

Perhaps I'll have to remove

those heads of yours...

and find out for myself.

- How do you fire this?

- Not that button.

- Not llke that, idiot.

- Whoa!

Did you hear that?

Them Martians is starting their attack.

Ah, the carnage begins! I iove it!

Hurry, I want to get in on all the fun.

You jerk!

Don't mess with me, kid.

You wouldn't like me when I'm mad.

Where are you really from?

[ Mother ] Tell me who

you are, or by tomorrow...

they'll be printing your

pictures on milk cartons!

They're my cousins!

Excuse me?

- From Callfornia.

- Dude.

That's Clutch. That's Spinner.

Yo!

- That's Paddlefoot.

- Hi.

They're surfers.

Why didn't you say so

in the first piace, hmm?

Yeah. Hmm?

Well, I'm new here.

I don't really know anyone.

I didn't think they'd be troubie.

No real harm is done.

You're weicome, provided you save...

those missile attacks for

a more suitable occasion.

Yes, ma'am.

I don't mean to pry,

but wouid you mind...

telling me exactiy what's going on here?

These guys are from a iot

further away than Callfornia.

Before you continue, I remind you...

that I'm just a llttie boy

and susceptibie to nightmares.

Waaa!

That's it!

I gave you another chance.

Since you can't behave...

we'll take everyone home!

What's all this?

Oh, yes. You!

Prepare to die, Earth scum, again!

[ Mother ] You've made your

point. Now sit down and shut up!

When a superior alien culture...

comes all this way to

take over your worid...

certain iaws of

pianetary conquest appiy.

For example, when someone points...

a quad-spected hyperthermic

cosmobiaster at you...

it's a fair bet you are

about to become toast.

Piease sit down and be quiet.

Perhaps in your case, a ioaf of toast!

[ Wheels Screech ]

- Uh-oh.

- Get out!

Nice going, big mouth.

- I said,?Out!?

- I didn't do anything.

I want you out of my car this minute!

Get out!

I can be pushed...

[ Mother ] But I will

not be smart-talked!

[ Alien ] Shut up,you old bat!

I think I see my dad's truck.

[ Kathy ] You can let

me and my friend out.

What truck? I

don't see any...

Shh. Come on.

I think that wouid be best, Miss Hoxiey.

[ Brian ] Good-bye. Thanks

for a lovely evening.

Don't worry about us. We'll

be fine out here, all alone...

in the dark!

- Hey!

- I don't know what's going on...

but I've oniy got haif a bag of candy...

so it better be good.

- Happy now?

- Well, who was the one...

who shot his heat-seeking

annihllator out the window?

All right. I'll give it to you straight.

We're being invaded by Martians.

I'm gonna follow them. You get my dad.

My sister gets haif of

whatever's in my bag...

so you better be right!

[ Orson Welles ] As I set

down these notes on paper...

I'm obsessed by the thought I may be...

- my God.

The last living man on Earth.

I've been hiding in this

empty house near Grover's Mill.

All that's happened

before the arrival...

of these monstrous

creatures...

Russell?

Where are those guys?

Geez, if I get this bucket

fixed before they get back...

they're waiking home.

This piace gives me the wlllles.

[ Gasp ]

Nobody gets away from Russell

Pllisbury, Deputy Sheriff.

Aw, geez.

Wouid you mind stepping

out of the vehicie, sir?

Now!

Maybe it's in backwards.

- [ Growling ]

- You're getting dog spit all over it.

Ha! Atta boy!

Wlli you stop wasting fllm?

Gee, Officer, what

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Patrick Read Johnson

Patrick Read Johnson (born May 7, 1962) is an American filmmaker, special effects artist and screenwriter. Born in Wadsworth, Illinois, he is best known for his directorial work on the films Spaced Invaders, Angus, Baby's Day Out, The Genesis Code and 5-25-77. He also has written and produced such films as Dragonheart. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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